#incomingapocalypse

Berkley: To Berkley, I leave her first snitch captured at Hogwarts, as a reminder of the rewards of perseverance and skill. Additionally, all my Harry Potter (oh yes- all of it) and University of Michigan paraphernalia, and an apology for my conduct for the first year I knew you. I like to think I have grown.

Michael: All the wonderful things you've made me in the past year, as well as Howie-my beloved portable CD player, his metallic blue carrying case, and my collection of CDs. While I realize some of them may not be initially to your liking, I say this: Give Steam Powered Giraffe a chance. Of course, you're on my flight, so if I'm going down, you're coming with me. In which case these items should be added to those claimed by

Lindsey and Maria:  In the case of my death, it is your solemn duty to consult my grieving, heart-broken widow. I don't know if she knows how to feed herself. Make sure she gets 5 fruit and veg a day, that kind of thing. And she likes Disney movies, maybe pop one of those in every once and a while. Also, to you I leave all my Blue Lake related goods, as well as my collection of musical posters. You were the first people to say it was okay. You were the first people I believed. Thank you, and I love you.

Jewel: (the aforementioned grieving widow). If I don't come back, know that  my Doctor coat and my heart is always yours. I also still have your sonic screwdriver and your Dave Strider wig, if you care to find it. I know precisely where it is, but I'm not going to tell you. Think of it as one last act of asshattery to remember me by. And know this: if I'm gone, date the ginger. I want you to be happy.

Sean: Sean doesn't even have a tumblr, can one of you like, Facebook message him or something? Tell him my two and a half tins of Pokemon cards and my Gameboy Advance are his, and that for all his douchebaggy tendencies he makes an alright makeshift brother. Also, SOMEBODY MAKE HIM FINISH SUPERNATURAL.

Okay frick I love you guys a lot and there are a lot more of you, but I have to be at the school in half an hour and it's a twenty minute drive. Let my parents keep my four main stuffed homies, but make sure the others go to loving homes, through DIRECT GIFTING, not donation. Salvation Army is out of the question. To anybody who may have once considered themselves my friend, and a few people who didn't, please partake in the distribution of my library. It's my pride and joy, and the books deserve to be read. Everything else is to be left to my family. Tell Macgyver I love him like a son. Tell Jack I love him like a nephew whose mother is my sister and went to college. Should my life be terminated, remember me by this: