And finally, this year came to an end. As the fireworks shine in the sky, I'm sitting on my bed. No parties, no drinking. No friends around. Just me, Jerry, my whale plushie and my plants. This year was the first brick of a life I'm not allowed to discover just yet. I've been more alone in this year than in my 21 years of life. And I lived for so little. I remember how many times I thought about ending it all, and being this close to death that her breath felt like a delicate veil. I've been betrayed and abandoned in ways my heart didn't know it was possible to even experience. I've faced traumas I didn't know existed. O made some new friends along the way and lost others. I talked to myself an uncountable amount of times. Monologs and poetry have saved me this year. And I want to thank the hopecore, who taught me so much in so little time. I found out so much about myself.
I learned a lot.
I've changed a lot. And a lot changed.
Im learning to leave the past behind. I'm learning to be myself a bit more. I'm learning how to receive love, affection, care and kindness from others. I'm learning to be kind, tender, and delicate. I'm learning to set boundaries. I'm learning to let people go if they don't wish to stay any longer next to me. I'm learning to be alone. I'm learning to live.
I ask for one wish only to the Universe: May this year be kinder to my soul and heart. May this year be kinder, to me.
Happy New Year kid.
