#imsociallysuperior

There is a certain day is each year where I allow myself to let my emotions roam. Not every second Tuesday of the month, no once a year. Even then I hate it. Letting my emotions control me. Trust me, it is dangerous to me and the world. But it is a promise I made to Eve ,and therefore a promise I shall keep. I just don’t let go anywhere though. No one can see me. NO ONE. I do not need anyone taking advantage of my one day of extreme weakness. And, it seems today is the day I let go. It is the day I last saw my sister. I should not have left her. She was bleeding heavily. But she told me ,as alpha, to go and gather the leftover Elite. I refused. Even now as I circle the oak she was leaning upon, I can smell her blood. Maybe it’s my imagination ,but it’s that same metallic scent. She then told me a second time. I left this time. I was a beta, and a beta should never disobey their alpha. No matter what.  I returned. Most of my sister’s Elite, the first Elite, had perished. Only the younger side had survived, only seven. Who would become part of the second Elite So I returned. She was not there. I searched for days trying to find a trail of blood or aura. There was no trail. I howled for days. She never heard. I never found her. Years later, I still hate myself. I have come to the old oak tree every year since. Hoping one day she’ll be waiting for me here with the same warm smile. But now I’m the alpha. And I want to tell her so many things. I’ll have to find her first though. I know she is dead, because if she weren’t, I would still be a beta. And believe me, I’d give up my status and all my powers just to see her one last time. As I leave, I turn and face the oak. And I ask the question I’ve always asked. “If you love me-“, I say through my burning tears ”can you let me know?” I walk away before I let my powers reach out and sense if anyone is there. Cause I don’t want to know. _________________________________________________________