#imnowriter

"You don't always have to be alone, you know."

Mildly suprised, Ben turned to Rey standing beside him. He considers her for a moment and ever so slightly, leaned forward.

With eyes closed and the taste of her lips still fresh and sweet on his, he whispers.

I'm no writer. I don't aspire to be a writer. What I am is a man who at times (almost always) is so deeply lost in his own head, that the only escape is to put down words that seem to make sense. The words flow from mind to medium as they organize themselves from little snippets of thought, into a loose arrangement of what would seem random and meaningless to some.

I will attempt to keep this page going and updated, but all attempts so far to set myself on a schedule to "pen" my thoughts have been fruitless. I let my thoughts out after they build up and my mind can no longer contain them, so I imagine they may not come frequently, but rather when I feel the need.

As we  come to the close of the year, i am forced  to reflect on all things that are important... What is important to some is not important for others but In my true heart and soul I know that  a lot of us hold family and friends near our hearts as much as the next one. This breast cancer thing has made my life so unique. I really feel that the experience I have encountered has made every part of my body more aware of who I am and who I have always been meant to be. Okay, now that you know that about me I have to tell you that being a mom is such an honor for me. Anyone that knows me knows how important my kid is to me. He is a teenager and super annoying at times but he is truly the big ole love of my life. There are baseball games and school functions and birthday parties and tons of holiday functions (honey we are members of the tribe and we do not play about our holidays.haha) but the more this guy grows up the more I realize how awesome he is and how having him around (to argue with, umm let me keep this real; remember he IS a teenager after all) has really pushed me through my trials and tribulations.So it is always hard when I see that my son has an issue with his medication (my son has a seizure disorder that has for the most part been controlled since he was 4). He is growing up and so with that comes medication increases. He had been doing awesome until the the other day when he had two seizures in one day. Weird I say. WEIRD. Looks like the kid is growing.......AGAIN. whew the doctors told me he would be 6foot 9. I guess at age sixteen and 6foot 3, I should start to believe them. Anywho, it just is one thing to have my breast issues which i feel like is so yesterday, i mean like so old news than to see your kid not 100 percent. As I prepare to go in to the new year I vow to try and see a healthy new us and to LAUGH a lot more than at just my self. I think our whole family can share in the laughter and become that healthy unit that we deserve to be.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING TIME OUT TO READ MY RAMBLINGS. I AM NOT A WRITER BUT I AM JUST RECORDING ON THIS PAPER HOW I FEEL AT THE MOMENT. I AM BLESSED TO HAVE YOU READING MY MIND AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

Have a beautiful New Year and lets all work on Laughing our way through it. I feel like it is going to awesome.