A few reasons, but the biggest being that I've spent the last couple weeks looking after the best cat in the world as he dies (cancer, and other reasons), and it's been killing me inside to see it happen. White Cat has been a huge part of my life since I was 4, and he is no ordinary cat. (You know you're an animal nerd when you count your pets as family members as much as your siblings, aha. That sounds bad I know). There is so, so much I can say about this cat, but I'll keep it short by just saying my family (and the whole neighborhood) have been incredibly blessed since the day White Cat walked into our lives 15 years ago.
These last 3 days especially have finally brought me to tears as I comforted this cat, who no longer looks like the White Cat I knew just 2 weeks ago. It's happened so fast, and yet so slow, because looking at him yesterday and today honestly freaked me out and I can't take it anymore and I haven't been sleeping and I love him so much and I just want to hide until it's over.
First time I've ever lost a pet. The biggest part of my childhood is gone as of a few hours ago.
Thank you God for giving me the best animal friends ever to grow up with! I have to keep remembering how blessed I am.