I’m just sad and wish I had a girl friend that I’m close with to actually talk to, I feel like I don’t have anyone and yet everyone has someone.

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I’m just sad and wish I had a girl friend that I’m close with to actually talk to, I feel like I don’t have anyone and yet everyone has someone.

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My anxiety is screaming so loud today. Telling me everyone is getting prettier and I’ll never live up. It’s also telling me that I’m clingy and annoying. No one would ever want me as a friend. That no matter how much weight I lose, I’ll never be beautiful. Today hurts. I’m doing my best to tell everyone I’m fine. Fake it till you make it. Right?
I'm honestly not mad. I've just come to the realization that you don't care and a little piece of you never did or you couldn't have done that.
give me back my transfer ban so no one will leave
All day today people kept asking what was wrong and I couldn't even answer them.. because I don't even know what's wrong. And i hate hate hate when that happens

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7/28/16
Why is it difficult for some people to understand that being sad is not a choice? I know stuff like "happiness is a choice" exist but wtf i didn't choose to be sad today. Why do you think would i do that?
.
I'm not sure how I've been feeling this week Honestly nothing make sense And I'm scared I don't know if I'm really feeling a certain way or if I'm just so used to pretending I know I'm not sad But I know this isn't what happiness feels like I know things will get better but I'm so impatient I just want everything to be okay now I want to finally get adopted, that way I'll feel like I mean something But till then I'll continue to wander aimlessly Pretending that I have a purpose I just want to be able to breathe To lie in bed and forget I want to forget everything But my head is too full of nightmares And now I'm struggling to sleep