#imgoingtobeokay

We try harder & harder to meet the standards so that we're loved. But doing so only leads to exhaustion, which makes it more difficult to try harder, which makes us feel more unloved, and on we go. This is especially true in challenging times because we're desperately looking for a way to make things better. We think if we can fix ourselves, then we can fix our lives. But trouble comes to us all. God doesn't promise a problem-free existence. Instead, offers unconditional love as a shelter for us even on the most difficult days. Taking a refuge in HIM requires receiving and not striving. #journeytobehappy #journeytobeokay #imgoingtobeokay @holleygerth your book is great 😄

… Pijnmedicatie, slaapmedicatie, een hete douche, een massage en een warme kruik verder… I am still alive

It's gonna be a good week I can feel it 🤘🏼

I hope... ctto.

The drugs don't work anymore, the high is not a high anymore. Its a low. All this time I've been looking for something. No sure what, I thought it was a who. But all this time the answer was within. It was myself, I’m looking for myself. I thought I knew who I was. I thought I had it together. Oh, how wrong I was. Thinking I had it together was the one thing that was tearing me apart. I’m on a quest for inner peace. Inner acceptance and I’m the only one who can find that. I cant rely on her for happiness because someday, she may not be there and I’ll be back to square one. Yes, she makes me happy but that happiness fades when shes gone. I become empty again and that is not healthy.  I love her with all my heart and I admire her strength to be by my side during this quest. I will find my light at the end of the tunnel. I will. I have to. I fight for what I want. I want her, and I want happiness. However, those two things have to be completely separate. One comes before the other. I have to be able to get out of bed in the morning and want to be here. Want to take another breath. I have to be happy. This journey I am about to take, I guarantee will not be easy, I might fail a couple times but I will get back up. I have to. Her and I can love so hard, we can be that couple that makes it. But first, I have to make it myself. And I will. Not for you, not for her, but for me. So I can become who I want to be. Whoever that is.