#imarealgirl

Is your life Facebook Fabulous or are you a Real Person?

For the most part, I’ve kept my Facebook page pretty homogenous. Oh sure, I’ll give a hint with regard to my political likes and dislikes now and again. I don’t announce every single relationship I am in and out of. I do share some photos of my kids. I work in s psychiatric hospital and stay cautious about photos of my kids on social media. That doesn’t mean they aren’t my world! I love my dogs and my cat. I’ll definitely show off if I’m somewhere cool! Travel makes us interesting right? Being well traveled is sexy. I don’t announce when I have a cold, a splinter, a fever, cramps or diarrhea. I don’t advertise EVERY time my kids are sick. I am a mental health advocate, I detest rapists and I believe that most people have good hearts.

Recently, my youngest son made a suicide attempt. It rocked our world. Well, it rocked mine and our family will never be the same - which is great.

I recently took some criticism for sharing our story on FaceBook. I waited until we had some stability and included by son. The post was a PSA to other families who may have experienced something similar or have seen the signs of depression in their own children. I was accused of using the post to illicit pity for myself by my son’s dad. He actually sent me an email with his opinion in the subject. There were a couple more people (family members) who didn’t tell me directly but discussed it amongst themselves but ultimately it got back to me.

Our lives are not perfect. My life is not, although it often looks that way to others. As I mentioned, I work in a psychiatric hospital. I am an administrator, a marketer, a supervisor, the patient advocate, and the nonviolent crisis intervention instructor. Trust me when I tell you, there are plenty of people who struggle with less than perfect lives.

I purposely “make it look easy.” That’s how my family did it. That’s how “leaders” do it. Or, is it? I’m a marketer. I’ve done PR for state officials. I’ve made bad people look good and I know how to sway public opinion.

I’ve recently changed my opinion about my persona and how I would present it. We have plenty of personas, you know? We perceive ourselves one way. Others who know us in different parts of our lives, perhaps co-workers, perceive us a different way and others who don’t know us very well also have a different perception.

I didn’t want or need pity when I discussed our recent tragedy. Neither did my son. But, I want to be real. I am a real person. I am a real woman. I am a real mom, with a real family. We don’t need all of our dirty laundry posted on Facebook. That’s not my style. What “we“ and “I“ wanted was some visibility to a growing problem. As my friend Pam so eloquently put it, “If you couldn’t see it how can I?“ Me - working in psych...

If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem. One in five people suffer from a mental illness at some time during their life. It’s not a rarity.

Did I need support? Yes! Did I want to do my part to help Eliminate stigma for mental illness? Hell yes! Was I curious as to how many other parents have gone through this recently? I was. I was also surprised - somewhat - at how many of my peers with children my son’s age had gone through the same thing.