“Compulsion” (noun): The action or state of forcing or being forced to do something.
Simply being forced into anything or to do anything isn’t what we as humans seem to like. Something that can’t sit silently in our stomaches. Do you ever wonder the world wondering if this person is in full control of their lives?
I do, because I personally don’t have control of my own world. I am forced, I am a property to my own father. 19 years of age I sit, being forced to wear a hijab, to live a life including kids, family, husband and a life my parents are currently going through. The funny thing is, I myself am pansexual (simply loving anyone for who they are, not their gender) and I live under a roof of religious belief.
In the culture my parents follow, it is wrong to force anyone to do anything even if they are your child. It is simply wrong but what can I do? The speaking us humans take for granted is cut off for me. Never allowed to say I’m in mental pain because to my father, it’s a phase.
There are more of us who are confined by parents, who won’t listen, who have marked you as their property when in reality, you are your own person suffering in your own skin and crawling out of that burning skin is becoming more and more impossible.
To this day, I do not believe in a god, that there is no one, nothing, watching over me judging me because this ‘God’ my parents have been kneeling for has kicked me so hard I’ve wanted to stop breathing multiple times in the last two years.
My situation cannot be the only one, there has to be more, I’m begging for there to be more. I want help but help is also something I am not allowed to seek.
I’m not me, I’m not the person I see in the mirror. I’m fucking disgusting because I can’t get out, because I can’t speak.
I might be forced into wearing a hijab but I’m not forced to not be me,
Fuck You Society.
