#im twitching

yummy.

hey i’m going to have a seizure actually

yea so his young gf has such a potty mouth!!!!! one of his rules is no excessive cursing, as the two of you have an image to maintain, but ofc gf struggles with it, because college girls have some of the most vulgar vocabularies i’ve ever heard.

—

*screeches like a terradile or however tf you spell that dinosaur*

“I WaNnA bE pReGnAnT”

“God forbid a boy eats a twiz”

“My nipples are hard”

“I had a friend once”

“Me got excited! Me got exited!”

“Who here in this room wants me?”

“What’s my favorite condiment? Uh….ASIA”

“Spread some positivity around here!”

“Can I adopt you? Uh I don’t think there’s enough space in my apartment?”

“It’s unsweet tea, your tiktoks…your tumblrs…”

*insert any poetry here*