#im alone.

Am I so bad that I dont deserve a friend?

I tell myself I want to change and focus on nothing but positive energy hoping that positivity will come back to me, but it's hard when you have no one... no friends at all or a family thats not toxic themselves...

you might think im used to being left every time i give my heart to someome but i am, in fact, not

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I'm sick of who i let control me. I'm so done with not understanding what the hell I'm doing in school. Im drained from all the dumb choises I make to try and lose who i really am. Because what I really am isn't what they all want to see. I think sometimes, maybe if I learn to love myself everything will click together. But how can you love yourself when you know you're just lying to yourself about being a normal achieving individual. All you have on your side are failed events, plans, friendships, lovers, goals, etc. I...I honestly couldn't give you one real reason why I am of use or asset to this world or its people. Im sorry I had to rant.

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Wow, I really am quite lonely.... ¯\_ツ_/¯