stop chasing men who are also running They are either searching for themselves or for someone else.

And you are just a streetlight, enough to keep him awake till he finds what he is looking for.

And when his feet becomes dust You will have ran out of men to blame

You can no longer blame your dad whose face is a reminder of childhood disappointment and running shelter he was the first man to turn your mouth into a gun barrel for all those years he fed you bullets for breakfast to leave you sitting inside houses that never felt like home his face is the silhouette of every man you will ever love But through him you eventually learned forgiveness how to evaporate pain from memory after he begged you four days before Christmas

He is now a grandfather to your niece and doing a great job to say the least

You can no longer blame your ex who treated you like shadow like revolving doors told you he was scared of commitment that he knew love as much as he knew running for years his words were scribbled across your ribcage made you cave into yourself more But through him you learned healing How to nurse wounds that won’t stop burning

And now he is with someone else, and happy

So you will blame yourself Tell yourself that you have always been streetlight and revolving doors and that you attract men who are running That you are the in between The bus stop The learning curve through which they become better men, either for themselves or for someone else but not for you.

                                                   -Theresa Lola