2/2 I love the way they enjoy each other. I love they describe "the box" as making safe space for creativity and improv and scenes written by hand. I love the small subversiveness in the pilot where Chris is "the holocaust wife" and it's Eileen Myles' back as the other "fellows wife." I love that desire is the story. Fuck everything else. And I think that THIS- this female gaze, this NOT male gaze, not male perspective looking at women as objects of pleasure, but female gaze, not just turning the tables and ogling the male form(tho there's some)- that THIS is in line with a new sex ed, one that teaches love and affection and desire as something mutual and fun and messy. This is the TV show that says fuck you to rape culture. Jill Soloway as director, Sarah Gubbins as writer, India Menuez as Toby, Griffin Dunne as Sylvere, and Mandy Hoffman (original compositions) are all up for Emmy awards and I hope they fucking win. So we can fucking celebrate them and then there will be more work like this. It's like nothing I've ever seen. When Toby tells off Sylvere? She's not nice to him just cuz he's an older white man in power? It's so fucking cathartic. I didn't realize my work wasn't for them, that my audience would never be men in power, until I was almost 40. And I was just fangirling all over the place- I mean that show is arousing and these actors are beautiful and smart. And seeing it with an audience, laughing together and being silent together? SO GOOD. To be aroused in a dark room, when since the #fuckcancer and it's attendant loss of libido I can barely remember to masturbate? And I was wearing this cute jumpsuit I got at Goodwill in Florida for $3? I ...I feel like myself again. I am my own fucking superhero. I was super enthusiastic and maybe a little funny and sexy and too much. I weep at the return of self, but it's the self that been fired and kilned and hammered. And after this week of such rapeyness with the sexual misconduct on at the High School I went to, and evidence I found, ugh, I needed this night. #feministart #love #endrapeculture #dismantlepatriarchy #femalegaze #ilovedicktv #fyc #fuckcancer #fun #healing