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IāM HERE UH HAHAš„ŗ mayhaps a C48 Illuso please? š³šš¼šš¼ i want to suffer a bit
Here you go Lina my lovely wonderful friend. ILYSM!! <333
Illuso C48: āBecause I care about you!ā
It was a quarter past 3:00 am when Illuso had finallymanaged to escape the dreariness of HQ when he finally submitted a report longpast due. Risotto had been sure to give him a fitting punishment for hisnegligence, but he didnāt want to think about it as he made his way home to hiscurrent partner, a young woman named Lina. They had gotten to know each otherin part due to sharing some of the same interest, but they both came fromsimilar backgrounds. He refused to admit it out loud, but there was a sense ofcomfort being able to speak so openly about his heritage and have someone knowexactly what he was talking about.
Judging by the time, she would surely be asleep by now; hehoped at least. While going home to her filled him with peace, he also dreadedit, knowing that his late-night returns were causing problems in theirrelationship. Sharing with Lina information was difficult on its own, but hestill couldnāt find it in himself to reveal what exactly he did. His secrecywas making her suspicious, and Illuso was aware of the implications but a partof him believed accusations of cheating was better than her knowing he was amember of the mafia and employed as an assassin. He would rather deal with heryelling and anger in the morning than so late. Out of everything, he dreadedthe thought of both of them going to bed angry, at least if they fought in themorning, heād have more time to make it up.
With little energy left to use Man in the Mirror and becauseLina didnāt know about his ability, Illuso walked home and entered in a out ofcharacter normal way: using a key and opening the door. As quietly as possible,Illuso nudged opened the door until it the crack was wide enough for his bodyto squeeze through, to prevent further creaking. As he quietly and carefullyshut it closed, Illuso used the opportunity to adjust to the darkness.
His efforts were for not when the living room lampilluminated ever corner of the room, and Illuso was faced with a blood-shoteyed Lina, clear rage etched on her face. His heart sank, focusing on her eyes.Whether they were like that because she was tired or crying remained to bedetermined, but Illuso knew he was responsible.
āWhere were you?ā She shot him the question before he couldopen his mouth to breathe. Illuso opened and then closed his mouth, resemblinga fish out of water; similarities donāt stop there, Illuso found it hard tobreathe himself, feeling a deep sense of guilt.
Unable to look her in the eyes, Illuso head lowered until hewas staring at her bare feet with one tapping impatient. Effectively, hisactions only enraged her more.
āWho were you with? Why are you home so late? Where you witha woman? Who is she? Are you cheating on me?!ā Illuso couldnāt get a word in toanswer her accusatory questions with one coming right after the other. Even shegave him time to answer, he wouldnāt be able to be honest like he wanted. Hehad to keep that part of his life a secret from her.
āLina, I-ā his words died in his throat when he looked up tosee tears staining her cheeks. She struggled to maintain her anger, quicklydissipating and replaced with sadness and heartache. To keep her pride, sheturned away from Illuso who watched her shoulders shake as she tried to quiet her sobs to gain control of herself. He wanted to provide comfort but lackedthe courage, and he doubted Lina would accept it. Still, he couldnāt leavethings as they were.
āLina, amore,ā Illuso began again, āI-ā He stopped himselfagain, going tense as he thought more about the words he considered leaving hismouth. A cold sweat broke out when he thought about the pros and cons oftelling her the truth. Time seemingly stood still as he weighed his options.This whole scene was exhausting to him, on an emotional scale, unlike anything he experienced before. Illuso remembers a time when his actions directly andindirectly hurt others and could brush off with a laugh. Lina wasnāt like theāothers,ā seeing her in pain brought him no comfort or laughter.
āI know what youāre thinking but believe me when I say thatIām not with anyone,ā Illuso couldnāt tell her the complete truth. āI know mybehavior is suspicious butā¦I⦠itāsā¦ā Illuso struggled to find his words. āIcanāt tell you why but please Ā trust me.ā
Lina remained back turned to him, refusing to meet his gazebut her sobs quieted. āWhy canāt you tell me, why should I trust you?ā Hisheart sank when she talked, the hurt in her voice was like a dagger to hisheart.
āBecause I care about you,ā Illuso said, dejected by his ownfears and concern. He had to keep her away from the world he lived in as muchas he could.
Lina took deep breathes and turned to face Illuso, her facepuffy from her crying. All readable emotions vanish from her face, onlyexhaustion and defeat remained. āBecause you care about me? Right,ā shemuttered mockingly. Illuso couldnāt blame her for her reaction; he didnātdeserve such leniency.
āIām going to bed,ā she dragged her feet and walked pasthim, avoiding making eye contact. āI donāt want you in my bed, sleep where everelse you like. I donāt care.ā With that, she quietly shut the door. It wasdifficult to swallow the lump in his throat, but he had no justifiable right tobe upset; he was aware something like this would happen if he fell for acivilian.
Illuso chose to sleep on the couch, tossing and turning fromhow old and damaged the thing was. In his attempt to sleep, Illuso stared atthe ceiling and thought about where their relationship would go from here. Histhroat tightened with the thought of Lina leaving him, so he quickly did awaywith those thoughts.
He wasnāt sure when he fell asleep, but it must have notbeen long seeing as the run had yet to even peek through the horizon. Butsomething had woken up and it was the feeling of a warm and wrapped around his.He looked to his left and saw Lina, eyes closed, sitting on the ground next tohim.
āLina,ā he gently pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.āWhat-ā
āI canāt sleep.ā Eyes still closed, Lina revealed her reasonfor being there, making Illusoās heart beat faster. āCan I sleep here?ā It washard for Illuso to explain what he was feeling. Relief? Or Hope? He wasnātsure. It wasā¦.4:28 am and every part of him was tired. With ease, he helped herto her feet and let her adjust until she was comfortably pressed against hischest. Though hesitant, Illuso placed his hand on the small of her back andrubbed soothing circles.
āIāll trust you,ā Lina suddenly muttered into his chest,surprising the assassin. āItās going to be hard, but Iāll try to trust youbecause I care about you.ā
Illuso lips trembled, biting his bottom lip to keep himselfcomposed. He rested on arm over his eyes to hide the wetness of his eyes whilehis other arm hugged Lina tighter. Nothing else was to be said, lettingthemselves be carried into their dreamworlds.