#illulina

Here you go Lina my lovely wonderful friend. ILYSM!! <333

Illuso C48: “Because I care about you!”

It was a quarter past 3:00 am when Illuso had finallymanaged to escape the dreariness of HQ when he finally submitted a report longpast due. Risotto had been sure to give him a fitting punishment for hisnegligence, but he didn’t want to think about it as he made his way home to hiscurrent partner, a young woman named Lina. They had gotten to know each otherin part due to sharing some of the same interest, but they both came fromsimilar backgrounds. He refused to admit it out loud, but there was a sense ofcomfort being able to speak so openly about his heritage and have someone knowexactly what he was talking about.

Judging by the time, she would surely be asleep by now; hehoped at least. While going home to her filled him with peace, he also dreadedit, knowing that his late-night returns were causing problems in theirrelationship. Sharing with Lina information was difficult on its own, but hestill couldn’t find it in himself to reveal what exactly he did. His secrecywas making her suspicious, and Illuso was aware of the implications but a partof him believed accusations of cheating was better than her knowing he was amember of the mafia and employed as an assassin. He would rather deal with heryelling and anger in the morning than so late. Out of everything, he dreadedthe thought of both of them going to bed angry, at least if they fought in themorning, he’d have more time to make it up.

With little energy left to use Man in the Mirror and becauseLina didn’t know about his ability, Illuso walked home and entered in a out ofcharacter normal way: using a key and opening the door. As quietly as possible,Illuso nudged opened the door until it the crack was wide enough for his bodyto squeeze through, to prevent further creaking. As he quietly and carefullyshut it closed, Illuso used the opportunity to adjust to the darkness.

His efforts were for not when the living room lampilluminated ever corner of the room, and Illuso was faced with a blood-shoteyed Lina, clear rage etched on her face. His heart sank, focusing on her eyes.Whether they were like that because she was tired or crying remained to bedetermined, but Illuso knew he was responsible.

“Where were you?” She shot him the question before he couldopen his mouth to breathe. Illuso opened and then closed his mouth, resemblinga fish out of water; similarities don’t stop there, Illuso found it hard tobreathe himself, feeling a deep sense of guilt.

Unable to look her in the eyes, Illuso head lowered until hewas staring at her bare feet with one tapping impatient. Effectively, hisactions only enraged her more.

“Who were you with? Why are you home so late? Where you witha woman? Who is she? Are you cheating on me?!” Illuso couldn’t get a word in toanswer her accusatory questions with one coming right after the other. Even shegave him time to answer, he wouldn’t be able to be honest like he wanted. Hehad to keep that part of his life a secret from her.

“Lina, I-“ his words died in his throat when he looked up tosee tears staining her cheeks. She struggled to maintain her anger, quicklydissipating and replaced with sadness and heartache. To keep her pride, sheturned away from Illuso who watched her shoulders shake as she tried to quiet her sobs to gain control of herself. He wanted to provide comfort but lackedthe courage, and he doubted Lina would accept it. Still, he couldn’t leavethings as they were.

“Lina, amore,” Illuso began again, “I-“ He stopped himselfagain, going tense as he thought more about the words he considered leaving hismouth. A cold sweat broke out when he thought about the pros and cons oftelling her the truth. Time seemingly stood still as he weighed his options.This whole scene was exhausting to him, on an emotional scale, unlike anything he experienced before. Illuso remembers a time when his actions directly andindirectly hurt others and could brush off with a laugh. Lina wasn’t like the‘others,’ seeing her in pain brought him no comfort or laughter.

“I know what you’re thinking but believe me when I say thatI’m not with anyone,” Illuso couldn’t tell her the complete truth. “I know mybehavior is suspicious but…I… it’s…” Illuso struggled to find his words. “Ican’t tell you why but please  trust me.”

Lina remained back turned to him, refusing to meet his gazebut her sobs quieted. “Why can’t you tell me, why should I trust you?” Hisheart sank when she talked, the hurt in her voice was like a dagger to hisheart.

“Because I care about you,” Illuso said, dejected by his ownfears and concern. He had to keep her away from the world he lived in as muchas he could.

Lina took deep breathes and turned to face Illuso, her facepuffy from her crying. All readable emotions vanish from her face, onlyexhaustion and defeat remained. “Because you care about me? Right,” shemuttered mockingly. Illuso couldn’t blame her for her reaction; he didn’tdeserve such leniency.

“I’m going to bed,” she dragged her feet and walked pasthim, avoiding making eye contact. “I don’t want you in my bed, sleep where everelse you like. I don’t care.” With that, she quietly shut the door. It wasdifficult to swallow the lump in his throat, but he had no justifiable right tobe upset; he was aware something like this would happen if he fell for acivilian.

Illuso chose to sleep on the couch, tossing and turning fromhow old and damaged the thing was. In his attempt to sleep, Illuso stared atthe ceiling and thought about where their relationship would go from here. Histhroat tightened with the thought of Lina leaving him, so he quickly did awaywith those thoughts.

He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but it must have notbeen long seeing as the run had yet to even peek through the horizon. Butsomething had woken up and it was the feeling of a warm and wrapped around his.He looked to his left and saw Lina, eyes closed, sitting on the ground next tohim.

“Lina,” he gently pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.“What-“

“I can’t sleep.” Eyes still closed, Lina revealed her reasonfor being there, making Illuso’s heart beat faster. “Can I sleep here?” It washard for Illuso to explain what he was feeling. Relief? Or Hope? He wasn’tsure. It was….4:28 am and every part of him was tired. With ease, he helped herto her feet and let her adjust until she was comfortably pressed against hischest. Though hesitant, Illuso placed his hand on the small of her back andrubbed soothing circles.

“I’ll trust you,” Lina suddenly muttered into his chest,surprising the assassin. “It’s going to be hard, but I’ll try to trust youbecause I care about you.”