Seeing her
When you see her for the first time after ending things, the irregular pounding of your heart will not lessen no matter how much you tell it to be quiet. You’ll be tense and on edge and sweaty. Your eyes will be all over the place trying to catch a glimpse of her but as soon as you feel a gentle tap on your arm, your heart will stop. You’ll know the familiar touch and so you turn around and the first thing you will notice is her kind but hurt eyes. You hurt her and you’ll hate yourself more for knowing that. For the first time since being with her you’ll reach in the back of your mind for things to say but it seems as if all your words have gone on vacation. So you’ll half smile, say hi, not hug her because that’s too familiar and frankly, if you hugged her you wouldn’t let go. And so it’ll be over before you know it and nothing will have been exchanged but hurt stares and sorry exhales and you’ll say good bye. But that’s the opposite of what you want to do. What you want to do is grab her trembling hand, put it over her Heart and say I’m sorry I did this to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough for this. I’m sorry. And you’ll do eveything you can to stop yourself from wanting to heal her mouth with your kiss and run your hand through her hair but you know that cannot happen. So, you’ll say bye feeling more empty and a stream of tears will drop down your cheek onto the ground. And you know there’s nothing else you can do because you’ve done enough.
