#illithas

La Belle Prince sans Merci

[what if Illidan died before Kael’thas?]

//

“I miss that kal’dorei bastard, Rommath. I miss him. I think he was trying, you know… trying to help the world, trying to at least treat my people decently. I think,” Kael said, finally, after a few moments. Rommath was sitting across from him on his bed, trying to see how his prince felt and trying to talk him through anything he needed to talk through. But this, this just didn’t add up.

     The Grand Magister let out a gentle sigh and asked, “Why are you still hung up on him, Kael? He’s gone now — that’s a good thing, yes?”

     The prince paused. Why was he hung up on Illidan? Why did his death affect him in any way except positive? He had bawled his eyes out and practically drowned in his own tears when Sanguinar first broke the news to him. Why? He couldn’t answer these questions himself — it had been a long time since he thought of his own questions that he couldn’t answer. But when Kael thought of Illidan, he had a flutter in his chest he couldn’t describe. He had been angry with him for a long time, yes, but that feeling always recurred. It made the numbness go away for a few moments as it fluttered, the wingbeats of the butterflies in his chest bringing back a healthy pulse.

     “The half-demon bastard can’t be a source of torment anymore. Aren’t you happy about that, my prince? You hated him — no?”

     Kael frowned. “He wasn’t a mongrel, Rommath,” he said, his voice breaking at ‘mongrel’. He had said that about Illidan himself but he felt they were not even his words. He didn’t feel that now. He wasn’t mad anymore.

     “He was, Kael — a traitorous, half-night elf mongr—”

     “I loved him.”

     Rommath snapped his head up. “What?”

     “I… I loved him, Rom. I loved him as much as I loved Quel’thalas,” the prince let out a sigh and smiled sadly, “Some lover I am… I left him alone. That’s not what you do to your loved ones, ha…”

     There was a ringing in his ears that Rommath couldn’t describe. It seemed to tune out the sound of his prince’s precious voice and it allowed him to stare off into the wall as Kael kept talking — was Kael still talking? Well, he supposed his prince did have a tendency to be chatty… the dark haired elf waved away the ringing with a gentle shake of his head and looked at Kael’thas, who had since stopped talking and was now giving him a look of concern.

     The mage frowned. “What?”

     Wherever there was a flutter that Kael described with Illidan, there was a crack, a shatter and a tug in Rommath’s chest. Was he not enough for Kael’thas? Was the thrill of mana and living dangerously more entertaining for Kael than the promise of a healthy and stable relationship? It was quite the equation, really. One that Rommath didn’t think even the smartest of gnomes or highest experts of love and experience could solve.

     Why wasn’t he good enough for Kael’thas?

     Now it wasn’t a matter of was he not good enough — why was he not good enough?

     The Magister forced a smile and leaned over to hug the mage, insisting that it was nothing, that he just remembered something with Theron. He gave his cheek a nuzzle and pulled away, before he stood up and left. He would check on Kael later, he said.

     Earlier that afternoon, Kael’thas would get word of Rommath taking a couple weeks off, and that a mage was placed in his position for the time being. He knitted his eyebrows forward in thought — Rommath never took off work. The blonde was pretty certain he slept here, even though he had a cottage somewhere. Lor’themar too. So that much was concerning.

     He knew where Rommath liked to hide whenever he was upset, though — near the waterfalls. And sure enough, Kael’thas found him there. He sighed. “Rommie?” he called out, gently, not to scare. Watching Rommath examine his presence and slowly get up after deciding he wasn’t a threat was like watching a baby deer learn to walk for the first time. It was quite majestic, in a strange way, and the beauty of the waterfalls added to the exoticness of the moment. They stared into each other’s eyes and Rommath stood and they remained a distance away before Kael spoke.

     “What’s wrong?”

     Rommath laughed. That was a question, wasn’t it? Though he supposed he couldn’t blame Kael’thas’s confusion and minor fright, he had told him everything was fine after all.

     “I’m not good enough for you, Kael!” Rommath continued to laugh like he had just heard the most side-splitting joke in all of Silvermoon. “I’m not good enough — how am I not good enough? When I’m being compared to that mongrel?” Rommath tore off what covered his face so Kael could see his expression, everything. He could see Kael’s clear as Belore, and it was horrified.

     “Do you see me now? I only smile for you, my sun.

     “I thought you loved me, Kael, I— I held out for you— I turned people down for you, hoping that you would act on the feelings I thought you had—”

     Rommath was interrupted. “I do love you, Rommath!” Kael’thas screamed. He screamed as if Rommath was at the bottom of a mountain and needed to hear it from the mountain tops. Thorny tears pricked his eyes and his cheeks and nose were turning rosy. “With all my heart, Rommath, I do. I always have and I always will…”

     The Grand Magister’s expression went sour. “So what, you… you mean to tell me that what you had in Outland was just desperation, my sunbird?”

     The prince gave a look of warning. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Rommath.”

     “The need to feel important enough for him to help you? To be supplied with more fel? To be supplied with attention under the false hope that he means what he says?”

     “Rommath—”

     “Yet you still argue that you love him, no?”

     Fury and fire crackled around Kael’thas and his sentient sphere sent after Rommath without him telling it to — but Rommath was quick and he dodged it. It went back to its place on Kael’s left shoulder. “It wasn’t like that, Rommath! How dare you speak on my self worth. Is that what you think of me? That I’m a helpless little prince in distress with no confidence or self esteem, waiting for you to save me?”

     “I—”

     The blonde swiftly glided his way over to Rommath and grabbed the taller elf by his collar to drag him down to his level. “You listen to me right now, and you listen good— try that for once—”

     Rommath secured his hands around Kael’s wrists and tore his hands away from him, keeping a hold of them so Kael couldn’t escape. “I’ve been listening to you our whole lives and look where it got us!”

     Kael’thas yanked his wrists out of Rommath’s hold. “Now I see why my heart chose him instead of you.”

     If there was a set sound for a heart breaking, it would be the sound Rommath’s heart just made.

     Tears streamed down the blonde’s face and he backed away from the dark haired elf. “Enjoy your time off,” he spat, spitefully, because if the prince of sin’dorei was anything, it was a spiteful brat.

     Tears befell the Magister himself and he grabbed his colae again to muffle the sound of a choked sob tearing out of his throat. The son tore through the air but fizzled out of existence before it could reach Kael’s ears. Rommath begged for Kael to look back, look his way again, look his way like he used to Arthas Menethil or look his way like he did The Betrayer.

     Rommath let out quick and hyperventilating breaths and sobs from his lips and just begged for the prince to look his way.

     He didn’t.

     Kael didn’t have the heart to look back at Rom, nor the will to carry on walking away from him. How could Rommath possibly think for a second he didn’t love him? Sure, it wasn’t romantic — of course not. But how could Rommath look him to the face and say that? Did you truly believe it? Kael made him feel that way?

     Kael couldn’t possibly choose who he loved. For the love of Belore, he fell in love with The Betrayer. It sounds ridiculous. But now does Rommath think he’s not even better than The Betrayer? That he means so little that he is below that? Kael’thas didn’t know — and he was scared to find out. Scared of the results.

     Gods, he felt almost insane again just thinking about it. He was neglectful, and lost sight of the man and friend who had been by his side since he became prince. Who used his own strength that Kael couldn’t muster sometimes to make the crown less heavy. Of course, everyone else did, like his generals and advisors, but Rommath took on the most.

     The remarkable part is he didn’t mind. He seemed to even enjoy the fact that he knew he was helping Kael. That’s what drew Kael to his companionship in the first place — and probably the earliest sign of a one sided love forming between them.

     If he’s honest, he had thought of trying to date the Grand Magister once. He didn’t feel that spark but maybe after a couple of dates he would — he would marry a well respected blood elf and please the kingdom, they would have children and life would go on.

     At a sound, Kael perked up.

     “Kael…” Rommath choked. This time, it reached Kael’thas’s ears. And Kael stopped and he finally looked at Rommath. The wind was blowing the tears off of his face and making his ears and face even redder than they already were. The same was happening to Rommath and it was starting to sting his face from the unforgiving tears being kindled by the wind. The wind made his eyes water more and he finally allowed himself to sit gently on the ground and hug himself.

     Kael went over to him and sat in front of him, gently grabbing his face with his soft as silk hands. A bubble sound escaped Kael’s lips and he started to snicker, tears beginning to run down his face again. He was giggling now, and Rommath had no idea if he was laughing at him or if Kael had truly lost his mind. For real, this time.

     “You— hee-hee— you look like a lobster, Rommie.”

     The Magister blinked a few times before an amused grin crossed his face.

     Kael started to laugh. His laughter was so infectious that Rommath began to laugh too, thinking about how red his pale face must look. “Grand Lobster Rommath…” Kael mumbled.

     “Yeah? And you look like a tomato. Tomato’thas Sunstrider!”

     Kael let out a belly laugh and started going closer to the ground from laughing so hard. “That’s—” he giggled, “That’s not even clever!” but as unclever as it was, the prince continued to laugh with the Grand Magister, both of them embracing like it was the end of the world and they never wanted to let go.

Valentines day themed drawing of the two idiots <3

Another backburner I/K WIP to chip at in between everything

Sparring .?

They make me violently ill