#ilegrae

My father was one of six boys born to Austin Waldo Evans and Yvonne Bertrand. My grandmother, Yvonne, was the youngest of twelve siblings. Each of her siblings had no less than three children. And the children old enough to have children had no less than three of their own. You can imagine how many of us that is, but I’ve done the math.

From my father, I have 105 family members, give or take newborns and the deceased; not to mention the few that we have adopted or taken in. That’s quite a clan. From my father’s family tree, I learned some of my genealogy. I am Creole; a mix of French, Black, and Native American; Dominican; possibly Black and Native American; and some Spanish. I surmised long ago that I come from a long line of mixed race ancestry.

When my mother finished mapping my father’s lineage, she partnered up with my uncle to map out her lineage. From their unique childhood memories and a number of family stories, they put together a nice size family tree. They eventually did some research using Ancestry.com to fill in some blanks. On my mother’s side of the family, there is Creole, full blood Native American, and some Irish.

What does this have to do with adopting a holistic lifestyle? For a long time, I experienced very detailed dreams, phantom taps on my shoulder, shivers, and strong senses of awareness. I also experience strong senses of emotion. The strong senses of awareness resembled anxiety, even panic attacks. At the time, I was suffering from severe panic attacks and anxiety as PMS symptoms. That’s what I thought I was experiencing. Recently, I had gone through a time of introspection and self-exploration. Since then, I’ve come to realize that what I was going through was intuitive experiences.

Along with a strong intuitive sense, I also can sense nature. I can smell rain and feel actual water when there’s humidity. I can even feel a difference between summer heat and the heat of the cooler months. I remembered a time when my maternal grandmother, Amelia, mentioned she’d been told she was born inside her amniotic sac or in a caul. This is a rare occurrence and is said to mean that a newborn will possess supernatural abilities or has been born into greatness. Grandma Amelia referred to it as “being born with a vail”. She also told stories of having dreams of my deceased grandfather, Ishmeal, and sensing his presence after waking up.

I knew, from my grandmother’s stories and my strong bloodline, that I inherited intuitive abilities, as well as, a strong spiritual connection to nature. I, possibly, inherited these abilities from a distant grandparent or an ancestor. I wanted to study intuition and strengthen my abilities so I bought a book called “Intuition for Beginners”, by Diane Brandon. I read and studied; did the exercises and started keeping a journal to document my experiences. My first time reading this book, I learned that honing your intuition can help enhance all aspects of your life. I’m still studying and honing my abilities. My experience with my intuition has introduced me to the possibilites of living a natural, authentic lifestyle.

I started and stopped a professional career as a pharmacy technician in a matter of three years. I started a pharmacy technician program in June 2017. I finished the program in June 2018 and received my licensed a month later. I found a job and was in the new hire process when my son started having trouble in school. After having him assessed, it turned out he had a learning deficiency. I started working in November and he started his therapy sessions in January, therefore, putting my career on hold.

Besides concentrating on my son's needs, I also wasn't excelling at my job. Upon a lot of self-reflection, I realized I just wasn't built for a run-of-the-mill nine to five. I was more inclined to own my own business or parlaying my talents into income. I then decided to invest into the travel business. I also chose to capitalize on my gift of prose to make a living. It was in the process of bringing my plan into fruition that I discovered the benefits of meditation.

Every successful entrepreneur does one of two activities before starting their day; pray or meditate. I researched this statement, and indeed, it is a fact. Several multimillionaires stated that they either pray or meditate before starting their morning. Since I endeavor to prosper as a businesswoman, I adopted the practice of meditation. I also pray as a way to thank the Almighty for His grace and mercy. However, meditation is my method to kick-start focus, optimism, and to maintain tranquility throughout my day.

Learning to meditate wasn't that hard for me. As a parent, I've learned to tune out and ignore, which aided me in concentrating on meditation. I was more eager to continue meditating. After my first meditation exercise, I wanted to skip ahead to the more specialized meditation practices. I had to stop myself from jumping the gun, exercise some patience, and learn to appreciate and trust the process. Once I got over the urge to accelerate to more purposeful meditation, I began to enjoy my experience more.

Anyway, I was watching this episode and learned a lot of interesting tidbits about yoga. For instance, yoga is an umbrella term that describes several types of yoga. Yoga also has levels of difficulties. You can even study and master in yoga, which is the first step to becoming a Yogi; someone who teaches yoga. From this one random and commonplace search for entertainment, I was instantly intrigued.

I was so enthralled with yoga that I bought an eBook on the subject; Yoga for Dummies. By the way, I would like to mention that the "...for Dummies" books are the best; very informative on any subject that it publishes. So, I downloaded Yoga for Dummies onto my cellphone and started reading. Did you know yoga is a 5,000 year old Indian – from India – tradition? I knew it was a foreign practice but didn't know from where exactly. Another fact I bet you didn't know; Yoga is a religious practice aimed at finding enlightenment and becoming one with your environment, getting closer to nature.

My research led to my excitement to practice yoga. My motive, as you know, was to lose weight and to regain my flexibility. I searched for yoga apps for beginners, tried several of them, eventually finding one I enjoyed. I was six months into my yoga training when I, not only lost some weight but, realized the mental benefits I read about. I didn't achieve enlightenment, of course, but I was energized and ready to start my day, had stamina, and was even calmer.

I intimated that yoga started my holistic journey, well my mental health spawned it further. I was diagnosed with Anxiety and Postpartum Depression. I was given this diagnosis while I was in a tumultuous long term relationship with my children's father. A lot was going on with me and it was happening all at the same time. I was overwhelmed and at a loss of what to do. I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication; which I still take; and had to come to grips with the fact that I was officially disabled. What was a single mother to do?

The first thing I did was prayed. Yes, I prayed, as a matter of fact, I still continue to pray. My relationship with the Lord has been my lifeline through so much disconnect – it has also been my lifesaver. I will always hold onto my faith and have added prayer and spiritual practice to my regimen. I have a bible app on my phone that I read from. I follow bible-based plans from my bible app that have helped tremendously.

The second thing I did was re-evaluate my relationship and how that affects my state of mind. It took me a long time to complete this step and I struggled while doing so. This also took a lot of prayer and some very deep soul searching. Nonetheless, I left my five year relationship behind and concentrated on building back the bits of self-esteem I lost in the process. I even got back on then got off the dating wheel; ultimately deciding to stay off to focus solely on my mental and physical health.

Next, I researched herbal alternatives to my anti-anxiety medicine. I looked into herbal vitamins and even read up on the benefits of medicinal marijuana. I settled on medicinal marijuana as a choice. I haven't jumped ship yet. I'm currently looking for the right big girl panties for this conversation with my physician. But, medical weed is the alternative I've decided on taking.