IKWYM story
P: Once upon a time...
V: There was a crazy old man...
P: This crazy old man lived in a town where everybody knew him...
V: Everybody knew him but not because of pleasant reasons...
P: He had a certain affliction to pants and felines...
V: His affliction caused him to roam the streets often wearing just his underwear and had a dog who would chase any feline in sight...
P: One day, however, there was a new woman who had moved to town. She, herself, was a nudist which peaked crazy old man's attention... But once he found out she was a cat lady... There was TROUBLE in paradise! ..
V: "Oh dear! Oh my!" thought the crazy old man named Herbert! "Her nudism is so splendor yet her cat is interfering with my plans!" Then the crazy old man began to cook up a crazy idea!...
P: He thought day and night of what he could POSSIBLY do to win her heart but to banish the felines from existence... Then one day he perfected his plan... He must make the nudist, Evaline, fall in love with him! Fall so deeply madly in love that no cat could compare! Then he must say he is deathly alergic to cats and that she must be rid of them.. FOREVER!!...
V: This plan seemed like a good one and completely possible. How could it not? Evaline and Herbert already had something clearly in common, neither of them liked wearing clothes! How could his own body compare to a cats? Well it was clear to Herbert that it couldn't. So...
P: So he set out one day to court his dearest Evaline! That is until it dawned on him that if he was deathly alergic to cats... he couldn't be in contact with her at all until they were gone.. This small detail could ruin his entire plan! So back to the drawing board he went...
V: He realized he could first talk to her when she went to the well in town at 9:15 on Tuesdays. She didn't bring her cat at those times since her cat had a phobia too! WATER! This began to prove useful Herbert...
P: So he set out the following Tuesday in hopes of sparking his love's interest. As he got to the well he realized that there was noone around town today... That was rather strange he thought. Granted, people shied away from him but never dissapeared... That's when he realized that if Evaline was out, everyone else was in. Total nudity was frowned upon here. That's when his internal conflict began....
V: "What do I do?" thought Herbert. "I love her but no one will accept us together! How can I be with someone who is deemed unacceptable?" Herbert was frustrated. Was he to choose love and shun his town and his town shun him? Or was he to just move on and continue on with the townspeople at least accepting him?...
V: For who he was at least...
P: So that's when he had the most excellent idea! He ran to Evaline and began his pleading. "Dearest Evaline, I know you don't know me yet but run away with me! There is a town just over the mountain where our ways would be accepted! We could go and never come back and be with our own kind! The only problem is that there are no cats allowed. Please, We could be so happy together!" Evaline, a little shocked, replied,
V: "But Herbert! This is so sudden! I would love to run away with you but how could I leave my cat? She's been with me through everything! She's family!" To which Herbert retorted,
P: "But my dear, we could make a new family! One where our children could be accepted no matter how they choose to live! Clothed or not! We could be happy! We could have friends!" That's when Evaline shot a giant hole through Herbert's argument... "Herbert, how could I expect my children to be accepted when my cat is not? I don't want to live in a place that is so unaccepting." Herbert could only think of the current town and how they shunned her and he realized how much that cat must meanto her....
V: Herbert became quite sad. He had to say it, "Evaline?" "Yes Hubert?" she replied. "I see what you are saying and I apologize. You're right, it would be hypocritical of me. I wouldn't want you to sacrifice your cat if you'll be miserable. I'm sorry."
V: Herbert turned to walk away when...
P: Evaline stopped him, "Herbert..." She said, "I think I may have a solution..." *Ten years later* In the town of Felinude, nudity is embraced, as the founders believed that humans are best in their natural state. When it was formed, the founders decided that cats should be viewed as independant so a small village was dedicated to the felines so that they could have a home away from home but their loved ones didn't have to say goodbye.. As for Herbert and Evaline...
V: The two became a lovely couple and both were able to compromise. Evaline was able to visit her cat whenever she liked and Herbert was never called crazy again. They ran Felinude until the day they died and before that fateful day came, the two of them lived happily ever after.
