#ii uk

‘Props’/Opening of the Show

Starts with what they are not going to do

Mentions ‘erotic role play’

Dan as a criminal, Phil as a policeman, voiceover of implied smut

Dan and Phil ‘strip’

Truth Bombs

Dan: whats hidden in their browsing history?

A: Shrek and Donkey fanfiction (winner), where to buy the best fursuits 

Phil: what form of torture would make them say anything?

A: Slow cheese massage

D&P: if they released a fragrance what would it be called?

A: Lady Dior (winner), eau de trash, sweaty rat juice 

Ball & Mystery Box

Phil threw a ball into the audience to guess what was ‘inside’ the mystery box

Dans Fursuit, Birthday Hamster and The Void

Dan VS Phil

Psychic Connects - name a country (Phil said Spain, Dan said Sweden)

Phantastic Phacts

Phil: what was the first ever album dan bought? 

A: Spicegirls, Spiceworld (Phil got it right in this show, though Dan said in a previous show it was Maroon 5) 

Dan: What would Phil be doing now if he hadn’t started youtube?

A: Vet (Dan got it wrong, he said video editing)

Dan, Phil, or a Rat? 

Picture: Phil w/ glasses (Phil got it wrong, said rat) 

Picture: Ginger rat (Dan got it right) 

D&P Dilemma

For Phil: You will never have to wear glasses or contacts again, but Dan’s eyes will fall out once a day and he has to put them back in. Phil said no, because he’s a good friend. 

For Dan: Phil’s gone to jail for 5 years for stealing haribo. To get him out he’d have to complete his law degree. Dan said no, he dropped out for a reason

Friendship Test loser - Dan

Wheel of Doom

Phil was sacrificed.  

Dan almost shot him in the dick.

Good VS Evil

Dan - moths, killing phil, war

Phil - a million kittens, anime, fast wifi

Getting Deep

Q: Fave videos?

A: Phil’s is the photobooth challenge, Dan’s is his Diss track and sang along. 

Q: Speaking in front of people/stage anxiety

A: phil said it helps that everyone there already watches and enjoys his videos (hopefully) but he still gets really nervous when its like a serious journalist thing. dan said to help with the public speaking thing is to remember that everyone is the centre of their own universe so they are probably not worried about what youre going to say especially in a presentation environment and everyone is probably focussing on what theyre about to do rather than you.

Q: someone wanted to start a yt channel about their cat and they were wondering what their first video should be

A: phil said whatever they want it to be as long as they get their point across straight away. dan said he was already in from the mention of cats.

Golden II Awards

They wore glitter suits

Give fandom awards to the audience

Phil’s Diss Track

Assumed lyrics to Phil’s Diss Track thus far

Dan on Piano

Dan plays a song on the piano

Has to do with him and Phil’s origin story

Phil interrupts by returning to his diss track momentarily

Interactive Introverts Duet

Dan and Phil sing a duet with Dan playing the piano

About how they’re ‘Interactive Introverts’

*Bonus*

Starting singing ‘yee’

Starting chanting WWIII

Dan made fun of Phil nearly falling down a hole in the set and then nearly did it himself later on in the show

When Phil needs a ‘LOL’ he watches their photobooth challenge vid 

Phil said the audience ‘broke the sound barrier’

Audience was called ‘Tracy’ 

Took Phil awhile to get the sacrifice costume off. Dan was like “Oh you can’t get your little booties off” and went to help him.

Phil’s shoelaces were undone and Dan made him tie them up whilst they were talking so he wouldn’t trip. 

dan over dramatically told the hotel story and he said he JUST stepped in the shower but enough to get fully damp when the fire alarm went off so he put his pyjamas back on and grabbed his phone and laptop and legged it down 8 flights of stairs and when he got to the fire assembly point a woman leaned out of the window and said "that was a test" and he said back "well i was testing YOU" and when he called the lift down phil was already in it and dan yelled at him for forgetting rule number one of fire safety which was dont use the lifts

phil pulled up his jeans and dan said "yeah pull up those trousers phil" and phil said "well at least im not pulling them down" 

*Current pre-show/intermission playlist*

‘Props’/Opening of the Show

Starts with what they are not going to do

Mentions ‘erotic role play’

Dan as a criminal, Phil as a policeman, voiceover of implied smut

Dan and Phil ‘strip’

Truth Bombs

Dan: What torture method would make them confess everything

A: hello internet on a loop (winner), being forced to draw on wood w/ felt tip, or having to wear bright clothing? 

Phil: If they started a religion what would it be called? 

A: smol-ism (winner), the d worshippers, the succulent 

D&P: what do they keep secret from each other?

A: their wattpad accounts, other friends (winner), dan is secretly a chair

Ball & Mystery Box

Phil threw a ball into the audience to guess what was ‘inside’ the mystery box

Dan VS Phil

Psychic Connections - chocolate bars. (Dan said crunchies Phil said snickers)

Phantastic Phacts 

Phil: What is Dan’s least favourite body part?

A: Toes (Phil gets it wrong, he says ear).

Dan: Name one thing in Phil’s ebay mystery box

A: Hair from some woman’s floor (Dan gets it correct)

Dan, Phil, or a Rat? -

Picture: ? Phil got it right

Picture: ? Dan got it right

D&P Dilemma 

For Phil: Phil gets a dog! But Dan has to wear bright clothes forever. Phil wanted to get the dog.

For Dan: Dan gets a free house, but seagulls follow Phil everywhere. Dan chose to get the house 

Friendship test results - Phil lost

Wheel of Doom

Phil is strapped the wheel

Dan almost shoots him in the crotch 

Good VS Evil

Dan’s - Teresa May running through a wheat field, falling in a volcano, his black mailman romper

Phil’s - Toast, dogs, world peace 

Getting Deep

Q: Should I bet a tattooist or a lawyer, because I want to be both.

A: Dan laughed and said do both, Phil said that that would be a cool anime. Suggested they do both and tattoo on weekends, Dan said he hoped they weren't just following in his footsteps. Dan said to do what makes you happy because thats important. Phil said five years down the line you don't want to be really unhappy in life because you didn't follow your dreams.

Q: If you could travel anywhere for a month, where would you go?

A: They both said Japan, Phil then said he’d also like to go to space one day.

Q: People call me cringe at school because I like anime.

A: They said this is a zero shaming zone, Dan said you like what you like and that’s all that matters. Phil said that people who make fun of other people are probably a little insecure about themselves as well

Golden II Awards

Awards from dnp to the fandom 

Phil’s Diss Track

Assumed lyrics to Phil’s Diss Track thus far

Dan on Piano

Dan plays a song on the piano

Has to do with him and Phil’s origin story

Phil interrupts by returning to his diss track momentarily

Interactive Introverts Duet

Dan and Phil sing a duet with Dan playing the piano

About how they’re ‘Interactive Introverts’

*Bonus*

phil kept saying ‘yee’, the audience shouted it back, phil laughed

*Current pre-show/intermission playlist*

‘Props’/Opening of the Show

Starts with what they are not going to do

Mentions ‘erotic role play’

Dan as a criminal, Phil as a policeman, voiceover of implied smut

Dan and Phil ‘strip’ 

Truth Bombs

Dan: What job would Dan have if youtube didn't exist?

A: lawyer, axe salesman, poet (winner)

Phil: what does Phil dream about? 

A: bathing in a tub of cereal; thirsty houseplants (winner), frolicking in a field of corgis

D&P: What would a documentary about their lives be called? 

A: two men; one cereal box (winner), don’t worry we’re not dead, was this a good idea

Virtual Stimulation

Dan went to an underground furry rave

Ball & Mystery Box

Dan told everyone to check under their seats for a missing key, it was in his pocket the whole time 

Phil threw a ball into the audience to guess what was ‘inside’ the mystery box

Phil and dog were given as answers for what’s in Dan’s box. 

Dan VS Phil

Psychic Connects - insects (Dan says bees, Phil says Dragonflies)

Phantastic Phacts

Phil: What superpower would Phil have?

A: Stop time (Dan answers with flight)

Dan: Where would Dan live if he could live in a different country?

A: Canada (Phil gets it right)

Dan, Phil, or a Rat? -

Picture: ? (Phil gets it wrong)

Picture: ? (Dan gets it right) 

D&P Dilemma

For Phil: Dead houseplants come back to life, but Dan can’t wear black. (Phil chooses houseplants)

For Dan: Phil stops stealing Dan’s food, but Dan can’t eat anymore chocolate (Dan picks chocolate) 

Friendship Test loser - Dan

Wheel of Doom

A poll is given to see who ‘you’d rather kill’

Dan is chosen and strapped to the wheel 

Good VS Evil

Dan - memes (this is wrong, they start over), exams, stepping on a lego

Phil - hot chocolate, spoilers, world peace 

Getting Deep

Q: What would they change? 

A: Phil said he wanted to change his hair since early 2017 but didn’t think people wanted him to change or would like it. Both said Phil should stop doing things because people want him to 

Q: Advice for making friends irl

A: Dan talks about Phil being his only friend

Q: Suggestions for art piece. 

A: Phil wished he got an editing/media degree instead of English (Dan teased him about being bad at editing) 

Golden II Awards

They wore glitter suits

Give fandom awards to the audience 

Phil’s Diss Track

Assumed lyrics to Phil’s Diss Track thus far 

Dan on Piano 

Dan plays a song on the piano

Has to do with him and Phil’s origin story 

Phil interrupts by returning to his diss track momentarily 

Interactive Introverts Duet

Dan and Phil sing a duet with Dan playing the piano

About how they’re ‘Interactive Introverts’ 

*Bonus*

Will not be Dan and Phil™ forever, will work on other projects 

Dan called Phil a dick

Dan couldn’t get his shoes off.

*Current pre-show/intermission playlist* 

‘Props’/Opening of the Show

Starts with what they are not going to do

Mentions ‘erotic role play’

Dan as a criminal, Phil as a policeman, voiceover of implied smut

Dan and Phil ‘strip’

Truth Bombs

Dan: slogan for their youtube channel?

A: Stressed, Depressed and #Blessed (winner), Kill Me, I swear because I care

Phil: what imaginary sport would they get a medal in?

A: Speed-Cereal-Stealing, plant killing (winner), Long distance gleeking

D&P: what secret do they keep from each other?

A: Every time dan looks away Phil dabs, erotic bake off fanfiction they’ve written (winner), and Phil eats dan’s Toenail clippings

Ball & Mystery Box

Phil threw a ball into the audience to guess what was ‘inside’ the mystery box

Secret stash of food, cereal and a whisk

Dan VS Phil

Psychic Connects - Ice cream flavor (Phil said mint choc chip, Dan choc chip)

Phantastic Phacts

Phil: What is dan’s favourite colour? (Thats not black)

A: Gold (Phil got it wrong, he said silver)

Dan: What is Phil’s childhood horror story/film?

A: The Madness of Matthew Swiatzack (Dan got it wrong, he didn’t know) 

Dan, Phil, or a Rat? 

Picture: Rat (Phil got it wrong, he said himself)

Picture: Phil’s lips (Dan got it right)

D&P Dilemma

For Phil: Phil can summon a dog whenever he wants but dan has stop use brackets every time he says hello (Phil said yeah) 

For Dan: Dan can stop time but Phil’s quiff is always droopy (Dan said yeah)

Friendship Test loser - Phil

Wheel of Doom

Dan was sacrificed.  

Phil missed with the slingshot but hit Dan in the torso with the bow & arrow & then hit him in the leg with the bazooka

Good VS Evil

Dan - Hello internet, Wales, the apocalypse

Phil - Animals, space travel, skinny jeans 

Getting Deep

Q: “I’m scared about work experience” 

A: Dan said don’t worry do something you enjoy and Phil said don't sell an axe to a 12 year old like Dan did in his actual job, and ask lots of questions.

Q: Has there ever been a video you’re not happy with that you uploaded?

A: Dan said ‘Hello Internet’ but he said he’s okay with it now. Phil said did a personality test video that wasn’t filmed well, but he might retry it.  

Q: Someone’s crush liked to party but they “prefer watching anime and dungeons and dragons”

A: Dan and Phil said to give up on the crush cause you’ll always find someone with the same interests as you, Dan said try to get to know the person and find common interests, or find someone else if you can't be yourself around her.

Golden II Awards

They wore glitter suits

Give fandom awards to the audience

Phil’s Diss Track

Assumed lyrics to Phil’s Diss Track thus far

Dan on Piano

Dan plays a song on the piano

Has to do with him and Phil’s origin story

Phil interrupts by returning to his diss track momentarily

Interactive Introverts Duet

Dan and Phil sing a duet with Dan playing the piano

About how they’re ‘Interactive Introverts’

*Bonus*

Phil destroyed the set right at the beginning 

Phil’s “real name” is boris humperdink 

Comet daddy jokes and flap jokes 

Dan: “any last words?” Phil: “dad.”

Phil almost said ‘holy sh*t’ when he got shocked on maximum but when Dan said ‘holy what Phil?’ Phil said ‘holy cheese’

Audience was called ‘Bob’

They made lots of moist jokes during the show because it had rained all day. They said they think they brought the rain with them & Dan said something about it always raining in his soul

*Current pre-show/intermission playlist*

‘Props’/Opening of the Show

Starts with what they are not going to do

Mentions ‘erotic role play’

Dan as a criminal, Phil as a policeman, voiceover of implied smut

Dan and Phil ‘strip’

Phil got the good ending in the simulation (starting a band and getting 18 million followers) and Dan got the bad ending (dying on the ladies' bathroom floor at a furry rave in a basement). 

Truth Bombs

Dan: What job would they have if youtube didn’t exist?

A: Definitely not a lawyer, deviantart furry freelance artist, axe seller (winner) 

Phil: What imaginary sport would they get medal in?

A: Killing houseplants (winner), being the palest man alive, cereal stealing

D&P: If they had a fragrance what would it be called?

A: Phanilla, eau de ladydoor, the sweet scent of regret (winner)

Ball & Mystery Box

Phil threw a ball into the audience to guess what was ‘inside’ the mystery box

Dan’s furry boyfriend, Dan’s phone, a body pillow

Dan VS Phil

Psychic Connections - Cartoon Character (Dan said Bart Simpson Phil said Lisa Simpson)

Phantastic Phacts

Phil: How old is Colin? (Dan’s family dog)

A: Phil guessed 4 (WRONG the answer was 8)

Dan: What colours were Phil’s school tie?

A: Dan guessed maroon and yellow (WRONG the answer was blue and yellow)

Dan, Phil, or a Rat?

Picture: Rat (Phil got it wrong, he guessed it was him)

Picture: Rat (Dan got it wrong, he guessed it was Phil’s lips)

D&P Dilemma

For Phil: Phil can talk to animals but dan has to pole dance in the background whenever it happens. Phil said he would do it and Dan was offended.

For Dan: Dan gets free black clothes for life but Phil looses his teeth. Dan said he would do it.

Friendship Test loser - Phil

Wheel of Doom

Dan was sacrificed.  

When he was sacrificed he took his birthday hat off and said “now you feel sorry for sacrificing me on my birthday”

Good VS Evil

Dan - The apocalypse, Dan’s 2011 square hair, killing your best friend

Phil - Relaxing bath, anime, cute animals

Getting Deep

Q: Do you guys have a favourite video you’ve made together?

A: They both agreed that The Photobooth Challenge was their favourite video they’ve made together. Phil said he watches that video back when he’s having a bad day and he needs to laugh. Phil said he also likes their baking videos and Dan said he only likes them because he likes remembering all the food he ate.

Q: How do I stop my friendships from drifting?

A: They both said that the internet was a great way to stop friendships from drifting and that the internet is a great way to keep in touch in different ways. Phil said that you should also try to enjoy things you have in common together, so from time to time if you want to keep in touch try to skype and watch a movie or TV show you enjoy together! 

Q: I just got fired any advice?

A: Dan referenced his How I Got Fired video a lot! He said when going to your next job don’t do anything he did (Don’t sell axes to children, lying about being sick and going to reading festival, sleeping under tables) They also said to not mention how you got fired from the first job and Phil said to ask a lot of questions about your job in the interview to seem more professional.

Golden II Awards

They wore glitter suits

Give fandom awards to the audience

Most inaccurate prediction was then singing their favorite eurovision songs and Dan did a short impression of "euphoria" and "fairytale"

Phil’s Diss Track

Assumed lyrics to Phil’s Diss Track thus far

Dan on Piano

Dan plays a song on the piano

Has to do with him and Phil’s origin story

Phil interrupts by returning to his diss track momentarily

Interactive Introverts Duet

Dan and Phil sing a duet with Dan playing the piano

About how they’re ‘Interactive Introverts’

*Bonus*

This show was done on Dan’s birthday!

The audience was all wearing birthday hats

Dan wore his black birthday hat for the first half of the show and then got annoyed with it and took it off during the second half

The audience (and Phil) sang happy birthday to Dan in english and polish!

Dan said he was Phil trash #1

Dan dabbed A LOT 

During Dan, Phil or a rat, Dan guessed the picture was of Phil’s lips and said “I’d know that smirk anywhere”

During the getting deep portion of the show they sat on a tiny box together and dan said “Two bros chilling on a box”

The stage was too small to fit their set so it was just a projection 

The wheel was TOO BIG to fit into the theatre! Dan went out of his way to physically draw a target on three long sheets of paper and they hung it up on the stage!

Phil helped dan adjust his mic

Phil offered to help Dan get out of the white jumpsuit to which Dan responded “I don’t need your help getting undressed Phil”

Audience was named ‘Susan’

*Current pre-show/intermission playlist*

‘Props’/Opening of the Show

Starts with what they are not going to do

Mentions ‘erotic role play’

Dan as a criminal, Phil as a policeman, voiceover of implied smut

Dan and Phil ‘strip’

Truth Bombs

Dan: what’s hidden in their browsing history?

A: tentacles, how not to be a rat (winner), fursuit

Phil: what form of torture would make them say anything?

A: Sunlight, cheese torture (winner), swearing on camera

D&P: how will they die?

A: baking, yoga challenge, dan screaming (winner)

Ball & Mystery Box

Phil threw a ball into the audience to guess what was ‘inside’ the mystery box

Audience member said Dan had a wank sock in his box.

Dan VS Phil

Psychic Connects - memes (Dan says doge, Phil says yeet)

Phantastic Phacts

Phil: What would Dan have been called if he was a girl?

A: Yazi (Phil gets it wrong, says Suki, his former hamster)

Dan: When was Phil’s first video?

A: March 06 (Dan gets it wrong, he says Oct 05)

Dan, Phil, or a Rat? -

Picture: ? (Phil gets it wrong)

Picture: ? (Dan gets it right)

D&P Dilemma

For Phil: Phil gets a lead movie roll but has to push Dan into a moth sanctuary, Phil chooses the movie.  

For Dan: Dan gets a dog but he has to push Phil down the stairs, Dan chooses the dog.

Friendship Test loser - Dan

Wheel of Doom

Dan was strapped to the wheel

Dan ‘waved his crotch around a lot’

Good VS Evil

Dan - slow walking people, WWIII, placenta

Phil - lottery, cha cha slide, helping old people

Getting Deep

Q: Advice for new youtubers?

A: Phil says he had been making videos for two years with little subs (Dan chimed in to hype him up)

Q: What do you argue about/advice for settling arguments

A: They argue about food/socks. Advice is about finding common ground.

Q: Have you broken a bone?

A: Phil broke his hand piggyback riding, Dan broke his finger by hitting it against his own ass going down a water slide.

Golden II Awards

Awards from dnp to the fandom

Phil’s Diss Track

Assumed lyrics to Phil’s Diss Track thus far

Phil was ‘ten seconds behind’ on his diss track

Dan on Piano

Dan plays a song on the piano

Has to do with him and Phil’s origin story

Phil interrupts by returning to his diss track momentarily

Interactive Introverts Duet

Dan and Phil sing a duet with Dan playing the piano

About how they’re ‘Interactive Introverts’

*Bonus*

Dan yodeled

Dan threw hair extensions into the audience.

*Current pre-show/intermission playlist*

‘Props’/Opening of the Show

Starts with what they are not going to do

Mentions ‘erotic role play’

Dan as a criminal, Phil as a policeman, voiceover of implied smut

Dan and Phil ‘strip’

Truth Bombs

Dan: What is hidden in Dan’s browsing history?

A: How to find your fursona, Winnie the Pooh fanfiction (winner), how to reply to Nick Jonas to meet up but I’m on holiday

Phil: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?

A: Fastest time to kill a houseplant (winner), eating Dan’s cereal, trying their best.

D&P: What would a documentary about their lives be called?

A: a life in the life of Dan and Phil, how I stalked my daddy (winner), the rat and the bean

Ball & Mystery Box

Phil threw a ball into the audience to guess what was ‘inside’ the mystery box

Audience says black hole, cereal, and a dog 

Dan VS Phil

Psychic Connections - cereal (Dan said Shreddies, Phil said Frosted Wheats)

Phantasic Phacts

Phil: What year did Dan drop out of law school?

A: 2011 (Phil got wrong, he guessed 2009)

Dan: What’s the question Phil got wrong on the weakest link?

A: What animal that is farmed for its wool has the first two letters the same (Dan got it right)

Dan, Phil, or a Rat?

Picture: Rat (Phil got wrong)

Picture: Dan (Dan got right)

D&P Dilemma

For Phil: Any celebrity you want will move in with you, buy Dan has to move out. Phil said he would choose living with Dan.

For Dan: Phil’s houseplants will never die, but you can never wear black again. Dan said he wouldn’t.

Friendship Test loser - Phil

Wheel of Doom

Dan was sacrificed.

Good VS Evil

Dan - Neck touching, cold nuggets, outside

Phil - a million puppies, shirtless Brendon Urie, saving kittens

Getting Deep

Q: would you (Dan) be coping if you were going into a career as a lawyer/ would enjoy it / be good at it?

A: Wouldn’t trade being creative/youtube for it.

Q: Advice for starting a youtube channel

A: Use relatability from your own life/do something ‘different’

Q: Thoughts about moving to another planet?

A: Both would leave, thinks the earth would be better off.

Golden II Awards

They wore glitter suits

Give fandom awards to the audience

Phil’s Diss Track

Assumed lyrics to Phil’s Diss Track thus far

Dan on Piano

Dan plays a song on the piano

Has to do with him and Phil’s origin story

Phil interrupts by returning to his diss track momentarily

Interactive Introverts Duet

Dan and Phil sing a duet with Dan playing the piano

About how they’re ‘Interactive Introverts’

*Bonus*

Dan pretended to be a ladybird

Audience was called ‘Bob’

Phil called a portion of the stage ‘Flap’

*Current pre-show/intermission playlist*