#ihatedepression

“Life’s a gamble, no blackjack no Russian roulette,

I’ve tasted the rainbow; black, green and white satchels,

In an attempt to forget my regrets, 

The beast within is far too much to handle,

Roaming through the mist but I’m lost in the rain,

Staring at my silhouette only accelerates the pain,

So much to lose but I’ve everything to gain,

This life comes but once and its not a fucking game,

I don’t do this shit chasing the fame,

I could give a fuck if they remember my name,

Can’t believe what I’ve become so I hang my face in shame,

And at the end of the day, I’m the only one to blame...

I treaded lightly through the precipitation,

Dying inside from all the anticipation,

Had a one night stand with a thick bitch her nickname temptation,

Lost my dignity and pride to a bullshit sensation,

Everyday can’t be tropical vacations,

Nor constant elevation, wish I would’ve went left instead of diving right,

Into extraterrestrial alienation, which subsequently grew into crushing isolation,

At this moment, I’d kill to escape this abrasive encasement, 

Mama, please lock me in the basement and throw away the key,

Perhaps, misery doesn’t deserve company,

Maybe I’m not worthy of your love and affection,

And the only one to blame is myself,

For my very existence feels like a staff infection,

Lord liberate my soul because I’ve lost all sense of direction,

Dug myself into a hole I said I’d never set foot in, 

Please don’t tell me it’s all my perception,

Moms gave me a heart of gold, but now it’s hollow and wooden,

Shook, shocked, shaken, misunderstood and mistaken,

I’ve loved too hard, broken down even harder,

Too damn emotional bet your ass I blame it on my father,

Dipped out daily fishing for young trouts,

Mama worked double time so we could have food in our mouths,

While pops was in the trap with a base pipe glued to his mouth,

Cracking his lips as his mind travels from Jupiter to Andromeda,

Far from perfection, I refuse to be my father, so today begins my change of direction. Similar personas, contrasting complexions “

- Rizalve (2015)