#identityneverreallymattered

OMG did Anya deleted her blog? I can't find her and now I'm really nervous about it

identityneverreallymattered and I are compiling a list of assumptions that people make about Brallie shippers so if anyone has any please send them to one of us. 

Side note, I think that yesterday, I just wrote the most angsty Brallie fic in the history of the world and I can't wait to share it with you, once identityneverreallymattered finishes beta-ing it 

Ok, so Anya's meta really inspired me because she compares Damon to an addict which I think is a perfect comparison and explains a lot of his actions. Damon is addicted to the darkness that vampirism offers him. It's the perfect way out for him. He gets lost in it because it offers him a way to block out everything else. Block out all the pain and self-hatred and the thought that he's just a monster that doesn't deserve to be loved. When Damon's life is somewhat in check, he can keep his addiction in check as well. "I can revel in it. I can make it fun." Until a point when it isn't fun anymore but a necessity. He keeps the demons in his head out by becoming the demon himself. He doesn't feel anything anymore and if that means not feeling anything towards people that were once close to him then so be it. Elena used to be his support system. She made him feel like he wasn't all bad and he believed her. But now that he completely lost that support he's lost as well. This is really Damon's lowest point since he turned off his emotions in Augustine. Now it might be worse because I don't think he completely turned it off, it seems more like a dimmer switch. And even though we saw him break down he still had something to live for. Be it Katherine, Elena's forgivness, her belief in him. Now he has nothing. Elena was his only friend. He doesn't care if he dies or lives. "- She would kill you" - "Cool." Stefan might keep him alive but I don't think he's getting out of this unless Elena comes back. Like Damon said, Elena is his life. Which is obviously very unhealthy but right now I can't see him abandoning his darkness for anyone else. There's just no point for him. He'd rather drown in his self-loathing and addiction than facing his demons. But he'd do it for Elena because she's the light for him. It can't stay that way forever because ultimately it would destroy their relationship but I think he needs to see that she cares before he can start caring about himself.

You guys have no idea how hard writing something is compared to just fangirling over it