No but seriously. You want me to believe Ichigo married Orihime out of love when he blushed like this over Uryu while talking about slapping him around?? Makes me think Ichigo's got a thing for S&M when it comes to Uryu. Am I watching a Fifty Shades of Grey spinoff for gay guys here?

One emotionally distant Quincy with glasses and Ichigo’s soul did a pirouette.

The girl confesses to him? Stone face. Blank stare. Vague nod.

Uryu catches his eye from across the battlefield? Blush, gulp, stammer, introspective monologue.

I’m not saying Kubo wrote a BL on accident. I’m saying Kubo wrote a BL on accident, realized it halfway through, panicked, and married Ichigo off to the first womb that could bake bread.

In relation to this very passionate post—obviously made with AI—by the Ichihime lunatic, @cinderserra, who’s obsessed with this pairing. They use AI to create art pieces that make it look like Ichigo and Orihime are having a deep, emotional connection, when in reality, the pairing is so passionless it might as well be a case study in how not to fall in love.

I did some fun edits to show just how little actual feeling there was in the canon. It’s like they’re taking drugs together just to get down and dirty with each other, because that’s basically what the story required—some kind of physical intimacy to make up for the lack of emotional depth.

And then there’s Ichigo, coping with his predicament by popping ecstasy tablets with Orihime, all while thinking he’s screwing Uryu. It's not love, it's not affection—it's just a way to get through the day, a distraction from his own emotional mess. Cinderserra, in their infinite wisdom, decided to inject a sense of romance into this mundane situation, turning a simple act of survival into a dramatic love story; where there was no love to begin with when it came to this pairing.

“Orihime, it’s starting.”

This is what 15 years of Bleach led to? A man addressing his wife like he’s giving traffic updates? No smile. No warmth. Just pure, unfiltered emotional bankruptcy.

Kubo really hit a creative wall here—hard. You can practically feel it in the panel. It's as if he stared at his script, shrugged, and said, “Screw it. Time skip. Make ‘em married, slap a kid in there—done.” It’s the artistic equivalent of handing in a group project you didn’t work on.

Ichigo doesn’t look married. He looks like he just finished reading a spreadsheet. Orihime looks like she’s trying to cosplay domestic bliss with a guy who clearly left his soul behind in Hueco Mundo.

Let’s be real: if this is supposed to be romance, Uryu should sue for emotional damages. Ichigo screamed his name with more passion while in a coma than he ever did when saying Orihime’s.

This isn’t a marriage. It’s a timeskip tax write-off. It’s a man who’s given up—not a man who’s won.

The whole thing reeks of those old tragedies where gay men, unable to live freely, settle into hollow marriages to maintain appearances and avoid exile. It’s not romantic. It’s survival through suppression. And it shows.

What’s saddest of all? I’m not even trying to ship Ichigo and Uryu. The difference in chemistry between them speaks volumes—and that's what’s most tragic about this 'canon couple.'

The surprise isn’t that Ichigo ends up in a hollow marriage—the surprise is that anyone thinks that’s aspirational.

This post really hits the mark on how tragic Ichigo and Orihime are as the official pairing. I, too, can’t help but wonder: How did Kubo think this would sell? So yeah, Ichihime isn’t built on chemistry—it’s built on convenience. She’s not a partner; she’s a prize. And for a certain kind of fan, that’s all she needs to be.

Because Ichihime, for them, isn’t a love story—it’s a wish fulfillment script where the "ideal" woman rewards the passive protagonist just for existing. She's big-hearted, big-breasted, and blindly devoted. No development, no struggle—just validation in human form.

She’s not there to challenge him, grow with him, or connect at all. She’s there to confirm him. And for the fans who see themselves in him, that’s all they need.

But love isn’t about getting handed a trophy. It’s about meeting someone as an equal—and building something real. Ichihime skips that entirely.

So in the end, the silence from the stans when it comes to an argument like this? It says more than a thousand deflections ever could.

Let’s talk about how wild it is that pointing out bad writing suddenly gets labeled misogyny.

Orihime Inoue didn’t have a choice in her development. You know why? Because she’s not real. She’s a character written by a man — a man who turned her from a quirky, complex girl into a silent, tearful cheerleader with boobs front and center.

Criticizing that isn’t misogyny — it’s media literacy.

It’s calling out how her arc got gutted to serve a male power fantasy and a heteronormative, one-sided “romance” where Ichigo barely acknowledged her feelings until the final stretch (and even then? It was background noise). It’s holding the writing accountable, not the character.

But somehow the Ichihime defenders twist it into: “You hate women if you criticize Orihime’s role in the story!”

No. I hate when women are written poorly. That’s the difference.

So tell me again how I’m the villain for pointing out she never got the development she deserved — or a relationship that felt mutual. The bar was on the ground, and Bleach still tripped over it.

And now that same cult wants to cry foul because I’m dissecting the crumbs that Kubo sprinkled in? Please. You don’t get to call “misogyny” while worshipping a ship that literally erased Orihime’s growth and agency to turn her into “The Wife™.”

And this proves my point:

You see? Characters like her never got to be a fully fleshed out character. Orihime was just background noise for only one purpose; fanservice.

So no. I’m not buying the guilt trip. And I’m not backing down. This fictional woman deserved better than anything she ever got from Ichigo.

What gave me inspiration for this lovely idea that I edited (dewbie hand drawn by me 😁):

Orihime looks like she smoked a dewbie and stumbled into a fever dream where Ichigo finally notices she exists.

All she’s missing is the joint in that wide-open mouth of hers in this very serious, very romantic POST. I don’t know what’s sadder—the stoned expression, or the fact that this is what fans have to make with an AI generation prompt just to make this ship feel like it has chemistry.

Poor girl. She deserved better.

Keigo would’ve treated her like royalty. Instead, she got a hallucination and a half-baked sunset.

Love is in the air. Or maybe just smoke.

You Ichihime cultists are something else. Watching you treat ship criticism like it's a war crime is honestly hilarious. Acting like someone’s life is at stake because I said your beloved pairing lacks narrative weight? Wild. Especially when one of your own — Cinderserra, the poster child for “completely stable behavior” — told me to kill myself over a fictional couple:

Don’t worry — I’m crediting them. Just not for the AI slop they make. For their insanity.

And the irony? You're only proving my point. This pairing has always been lopsided — forced, hollow, and kept alive purely by fan delusion, not actual chemistry. The second someone points that out with a brain cell and a backbone, you all implode.

So again — thank you for so proudly putting your emotional fragility and narrative denial on display.

And let’s be real: the sheer level of instability radiating from your side is doing more damage to your ship’s credibility than I ever could. Couldn’t have asked for better proof. Take some meds. You need them. 😉💋 For anyone who wants to have a laugh over these cultists having a meltdown over their sacred, fictional, canon character pairing being criticized, link of the original post is here.

When your only rebuttal is ‘They’re cousins!’ but the actual story shows they’re not even blood-related… gotta love that fandom creativity.

Anyway, Ichigo and Uryu are free to do this with each other:

Much better than that sparkless shit Kubo had going on with Ichigo and Orhime in canon. Now ain't it? At least these two had chemistry together; and it was flipping obvious in that shitty TYBW arc.

There’s more passion in Ichigo yelling “URYYYUUUUU!!” mid-battle than in his whole married life with a chick he never had eyes for. Or when he was giving Uryu flirty looks when asking his lover to come with him to Hueco Mundo. I mean, did you see those eyes Ichigo was giving Uryu? 😁 Here's a refresher:

A satirical digital edit of an AI-generated Bleach fanart originally posted by Tumblr user @cinderserra, known for their obsessive devotion to the Ichihime pairing. The image shows Ichigo on top of Orihime, whose face has the oddly glassy, over-saturated look typical of AI portraits — wide eyes, waxy skin, and a vacant look. To emphasize that uncanny effect, I added half a tablet of ecstasy in Orihime’s mouth and overlaid deliberately crass, meta-textual dialogue.

Orihime screams lines like “DON’T PULL OUT! I NEED YOU CUM INSIDE ME TO CREATE KAZUI! OR WE CAN’T PERFORM OUR CANON ROLE!”, while Ichigo’s internal thought bubble reads “UGH… I HATE MY EXISTENCE… URYU’S THE ONE WHO GETS MY SOUL…”

This piece serves as a mocking commentary on both @cinderserra's fixation with the Ichihime ship and the broader phenomenon of AI-generated fanart that feels emotionally hollow yet hyper-romanticized.

By inserting overtly sexual, fourth-wall-breaking dialogue, I'm drawing attention to:

The artificial emotionality of AI imagery (Orihime’s face already looks unnaturally euphoric — “high,” hence half the ecstasy tablet).

The performative absurdity of fandom obsession with canon relationships and offspring (“we can’t perform our canon role”).

Ichigo's emotional vacancy.