#icecreamstudies

I believe in the equality of woman and men and the right for them to live however they please (as long as they aren’t doing horrible stuff, like killing people… obviously). Now, let’s look up what the word ‘equality’ means for a second, according to the Oxford dictionary it is:

However, when I say that therefore I am a feminist, all of a sudden I’m a lesbian, I think that women should be superior to men, and that I just want to look at life like its shit.

No. That is not the case. It is illegal in the UK to discriminate, did you know that? Yet, men get paid more than women in the majority of the businesses. In America, it is legal to pay disabled people less than the minimum wage. How is that fair? They are doing the same job as the next person.

Moving on to the next topic I would like to discuss, social media and it’s affects on men and women. Men are told constantly that if they are feminine or show their feeling they are ‘weak’ or 'gay’. Why? Because the woman’s body is thought of as weak. Women’s bodies are seen as only something to look at; as property. That has to stop. Now, I’m not saying it doesn’t happen to men too, woman often dehumanise a man’s body. This has to stop as well. Society needs to stop throwing around the expectation of a man is strong and not able to express their feelings, as well as the one who gets the money, who has the job, who pays the bills. Men have emotions and should be able to show it just as much as women are. Men can be single dads, married, gay, straight, religious, and show their feelings. Society needs to stop telling LGBTQA+ people that they are invalid because they don’t fit the stereotypes that they have created. That they don’t exist unless they follow the unspoken rules. There are no rules, just be you.

Society needs to stop throwing in young girls faces that they have to look like a Barbie doll, that they have to like make up, that they can’t like cars or science, that they have to rely on a man. That they have to like all of these feminine things. That young boys can’t like dolls, pink, and make up, that they have to like cars and guns and action figures and superheros. 

Society needs to stop telling young poc that they have to look like the expectations that they have set up for them. That they aren’t pretty/handsome if they don’t. 

Society needs to stop drumming into children’s head that men have to have a six pack and women have to have big boobs and big butts, skinny waist, wide hips.

To those who have depression, some tips/coping methods:

Now, some of these might not work for you and that is okay. Everybody is different, no one is the same, that’s what makes you wonderful and beautifully unique. When I am having one of those bad days I might do/have been recommended to do some of the following:

1. Know that at the state you are in you going to be thinking mostly irrationally. No matter what you think, it is mostly irrational. The little voice in your head saying that nobody loves you? Telling you to do all of those horrible things to yourself? Breathe in, push them to the back of your mind and ignore them. I know it’s hard, trust me. But you just have to try to not think about it. The longer you do, a detailed plan can form inside your head and that is bad. Especially when you want to focus on the positives.

2. Focus on the positives. Before you all throw heavy objects at me and scream, let me explain. While it sounds like the most dumbass thing to tell someone with depression, you have to try to get into a happy mindset. Now, I have been told this when I was feeling so down that I could barely do anything (like I got given a book on how to think positive). You have to look at it like this, the world is an amazing place. It’s wonderful and one day, you’ll get to explore it. You’ll get to see all the things you’ve dreamed of seeing, but you can’t do that do that if you give into your thoughts. Then they have one. 

3. Ignore people that tell you that you don’t deserve to be depressed because you have a roof over your head, you have food, you have parents who love you. These idiots don’t understand depression. This brings me onto my next point.

4. People who haven’t had depression will most likely not understand and say things like ‘it’s a bad day, not a bad life’ but in that situation, in your head, it doesn’t feel like a bad day, it feels like a bad life. I know, don’t worry. If you are one medication and someone tells you shouldn’t be taking it because you can cope without it, just never talk to them again. Seriously. Even if you are sure you’re just being dramatic, explain to them how it helps you and if they still don’t get it, ditch them. 

5. Go to the doctors, they can either get you counselling, or give you medication. But they need to know things like this. 

6. If your friends don’t understand, you are not the issue. I promise you, it is not your fault. You did absolutely nothing wrong to be told that you are just sad and to move on. 

7. If you self harm, draw and doodle on your skin in a red felt tip.

8. Talk to someone, please. it could be a parent, friend, sibling, councilor, therapist, psychologist, doctor. Anyone, just don’t let them feelings of yours get bottled up.

9. If you are having one of those days where you don’t want to do anything, that’s okay. You don’t always have to do something. However, bare in mind that this could go two ways: one, you feel better the next day since you have had time to relax. Or, two, you wake up the next morning down, anxious and stressed because you couldn’t do the work that you were meant to do yesterday because you were so stressed. But you know you better than I do, so do what you think is best.

10. If you are having a day where you don’t even want to talk, that’s fine. I was told that if I don’t want to talk, that’s fine, I didn’t have to. So, I didn’t. I just didn’t have the energy to, and that was okay.

11. Surround yourself with people who care and love you. I promise you, those people are there.

12. Anything that keeps you here is worth it. It’s okay if the one thing that keeps you here is you cat, your friend, the one youtuber you love, mcdonalds, your parents, your siblings. Anything that you find helps keep you living is worth it. 

13. My last tip on this is to remember that you are loved. I promise you, I know I ave said I promise a lot, but I mean all of them. 

To those who have anxiety, some tips/coping methods:

Okay, so I have been told a couple of tricks that I have been told by some people I talk to that could help some of you and help me a little bit, so I though, why not share :)

1. Control your breathing. The one I have been told to try is the breathe in for four seconds, hold it til seven and then out for eight. This helps slightly, however, when I go back to breathing normally, I feel anxious again, which is when I try something else on this list.

2. Doodle. Seriously, go crazy, I have a whole notebook that I will turn to a clean page a just go mad and doodle. Sometime my doodles are effected by my mood, which helps me express myself. It’s great. I had a word with my teachers and they let me doodle in class as long as I get the work done and pay attention, maybe try doing the same?

3. Fold paper. Don’t worry if you can’t fold some swans or boats or whatever. But just folding paper that you focus on completely can help take your mind off of your worries. Obviously, if you fancy making a swan, then go right ahead, but don’t worry if you can’t, I can’t either.

4. Maths. Now, before you all start screaming at me for suggesting that. It doesn’t have to be things like algebra or Pythagoras, just simple things like choose four random numbers, order them by size, multiply them, or subtract them- just distract yourself. That’s what these techniques are all about, taking your mind off of whatever you are worried about.

5. Talk to someone. Like, anyone. It could he a teacher, a parent, a cousin, an uncle, an aunt, a tumblr blog, a friend, a pet. Just anyone or anything to get it off of your chest and face the issue. Normally people from an outside point of view can give great advice or give you some comfort.

6. Fiddle with something small. Some people that I know carry guitar picks in their pockets, or hair clips/pins, That way if you’re at school, teachers won’t really notice something you can keep in your pocket, I have not tried this yet, I am planning on it though, I have a guitar pick and everything. 

I recommend these three books (well, two books and a trilogy of books...):

1. The Gospel of Loki by Joanne M. Harris - a very good book about the Norse God Loki, some changes made to the myths to fit the plot, but still very good.

2. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green - A very touching story for y’all to read.

Small or big accomplishments this week:

I did my homework as I went, for the majority

I spoke up in class for the first time in my English class

I wrote a speech that I have to do because they lost my other one

I was brave enough to say that I want to try to play a main character in a performance for drama

I said to my friends that sometimes things in my head gets confusing and stuff (which I might go into more detail later but I just generally try to ignore it, lol)

I came up with a nickname for myself to help with the stuff that gets confusing (it's Zach in case you wanted to know, lol)

I started making practice papers for myself

I finally did the maths test that I was supposed to do like three weeks ago, now I just have to do the other two, whoops...

That's about all, I think. Not been a bad week generally...

Hola mi amigo. Feliz cumpleaños. Solo quería hacerte saber: te quiero, muy mucho.