#ic shit

ARE YOU OKAY???

i mean, clearly not but

if you can figure out how to hijack whatever external connection lets me use this blog, you could come to redacre and see if being near-totally isolated from the internet helps

also isn’t iht fond of you?? could ask her about the whole Issue(tm) and see if she’s got anything close to a solution

i’m sorry the first thing i jump to with things like this is figuring out how to fix them

i realized when i heard ftv was leaving that i’d made a big mistake. the boxcar, the club itself - dax left, it’s all crumbling, soon there’ll be no club left anymore because bells is

i think she was ftv’s first host

she did what she could

and i don’t blame her for it i really don’t but i couldn’t have made that choice myself. if it was me. song or death, that’s all that’s left for anyone in redacre, and i’ve never been ready for that

not once in the last what, almost two years?? fuck

anyway, i got really fucking lucky. texted lauren and she wasn’t so far out of town that the messages bounced. her group waited up for like 24 hours and i found them

we’re at least in civilization now, gonna look for a roof over our heads and a way out of the nrqz because i don’t think our phones are set up for non-chorus-network connectivity and there’s none here anyway

ngl, leaving hurt. a whole fucking lot. i miss max already, and all the others who stayed, i miss my family

lauren didn’t. she’s gone. i hope she made it. i found max and theyre still here, the idiot. they know what’ll happen if they get caught

me? i can’t go. i’ve tried to explain why and it’s some weird mix of cowardice and loving my family too much and loving the boxcar too much and. ugh

anyway

this may very well be my final post on this blog. i’m leaving the password with someone i trust, in case i die or get permanently suppressed within the next few days, so they can close everything out. let people know i;m gone

god that hurts to talk about

expect regular updates. if i miss a day, i’m probably dead.

stay tuned

pray for me if you feel like it

days? weeks? probably

we were in shock before but now

laurens been having an extended breakdown

i cant find max at all which is honestly a good thing. they need to get out theyre not safe anymore

none of us are

i didn’t follow him but it still hurts. he was, the tbc spirit in a way, we’ve all had that moment of decision where it was like. yeah i’m in this for good. gonna make sure people know the truth or die trying