#ianh2h

the rain gently patters against the windows, filling the room with a steady, soothing murmur. you and Carmen are curled up on the couch, sharing a thick blanket that smells a tiny bit of lavender.

Carmen has her head resting on your shoulder, her fingers intertwined with yours, as if afraid that the slightest movement might separate you.

at first it was just a quiet evening: an old movie on TV, half-finished hot chocolate on the table, and a million comfortable silences floating between you.

but little by little, you felt her breathing get slower, deeper. now, when you look down, you see her relaxed little face, with that tiny smile Carmen always wears when she's dreaming something beautiful.

your heart melts.

you caress her with your thumb, just a touch, as if you wanted to tattoo that moment on your skin. outside, the world is still gray and wet, but here, under the blanket, entangled in each other, everything is warm, tender, and perfect.

without meaning to, you whisper, “i love you.”

and even though you know she's asleep, you swear Carmen's smile gets just a little bit bigger.

the rain is still singing in the background when you feel Carmen move slightly against you. she blinks slowly, as if each blink is too much effort. she snuggles closer, and her hand, which never let go of yours, squeezes your fingers gently.

“mmm… did i fall asleep?” he murmurs, his voice husky with sleep, so low you barely hear it.

“never mind,” you reply in a whisper, stroking her hair with your other hand. “you look so pretty when you sleep.”

Carmen giggles softly, that sweet little giggle that always makes you smile without realizing it. she rubs her eyes like a little girl, before looking up at you, still half asleep, but with a tenderness that takes your breath away.

“did i tell you today how much i like you?” she asks suddenly, her voice still sleepy but loaded with sincerity.

your chest fills with warmth. you squeeze his hand between yours, as if you can hold those words forever.

“i don't think so,” you reply, playfully, ”but… you could tell me again.”

Carmen smiles, more awake now. She sits up a little, still wrapped in the blanket with you, and rests her forehead against yours, closing her eyes as if just being this close gives her peace.

“i like you,” she whispers, so close you feel her words brush against your skin. “a lot. like… more than i know how to say.”

you laugh softly, fingers caressing his cheek with trembling tenderness. “it's the same for me with you.”

and then, almost shy but brave in her own way, Carmen bends her face and leaves a soft, trembling kiss, barely a touch, on your lips.

there is no hurry. no nerves. just warm love in the midst of the storm.

when she pulls away, her cheeks are pink, and you know yours are too. You both laugh, softly, as if sharing a secret that no one else in the world could ever understand.

“mmm… we should go to bed,” she murmurs, her voice low, sleepy, full of affection.

outside, the rain is still falling.

but inside, tangled under a blanket, the world is perfect.

You let out a lazy chuckle, cradling her a little tighter under the blanket. “we're fine here…” you whisper, not wanting to move, not wanting to break the perfect bubble you formed together.

Carmen laughs too, that warm little sound vibrating against your chest. “but the bed is more comfortable… and i want to hold you tight.”

the way she says it - so sweetly, in that voice that sounds like a coo - makes your heart flutter.

“all right,” you say, pretending to surrender, even though you really want nothing more in the world than to follow his voice wherever it goes. “but only if you promise not to let go.”

Carmen lifts her head to look at you, with that goofy, lovelorn smile that melts anyone's soul. “never.”

with awkward movements and soft giggles, you manage to untangle yourselves from the blanket, though you end up stumbling a bit along the way. They hold hands as if they were two little girls escaping from a nice dream, walking barefoot to the bedroom, leaving tiny footprints of happiness with every step.

already in bed, Carmen hugs you from behind, gluing her forehead to the back of your neck, her arm firmly around your waist. You can feel her calm breathing, her heartbeat beating in tune with yours.

“i love you,” she whispers before she falls asleep, so softly it almost seems like a thought.

you smile in the dark, closing your eyes, letting yourself be lulled by her warmth and the murmur of the rain.

and just before you surrender to sleep, you dare to reply, in a whisper you know Carmen will feel, even if she doesn't hear it:

—Haneul

Physics class was in its final stretch, but for me, the clock seemed to have stopped.

I couldn't concentrate. Not when she was there.

From the moment I arrived and saw her sitting a few rows ahead, my attention evaporated. My eyes, as if with a life of their own, searched for her again and again, even though my mind screamed for me to focus on the lesson.

I would see her absentmindedly moving her pencil between her fingers, sometimes drawing little scribbles at the edge of her notebook.

I would see her frown slightly when she didn't understand something, or bite the tip of her pen in a way that made me lose my own train of thought.

At times, she would tuck her hair behind her ear with an almost rehearsed delicacy, and her every slightest movement would leave me stupidly mesmerized.

What pretty hair she had

Had she always been so pretty?

What am I thinking?

I was trying not to stare so hard.

I was failing miserably.

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I'd catch her looking at me too.

Not for long. Just a few seconds, as if she was only looking back by chance.

But I could tell.

Would she remember who I was?

Would that brief moment we shared in the night have been enough to linger in her memories?

And every time it happened, a little jolt would shake my chest, as if my heart didn't know how to behave.

What's wrong with me, I asked myself over and over again.

It was not normal for me to feel such an absurd heat on my cheeks just because our eyes met. It was not normal this stupid impulse to want to get closer, to want to talk to her, to want… something that I could not even put into words.

It was fear.

It was curiosity.

It was something much bigger than I was ready to admit.

When the bell rang announcing the end of class, it took me a second to react. I hurried to put my things away, still feeling the weight of his presence nearby.

I grabbed my backpack, quickly checking my cell phone to see my next classroom, and started walking towards the exit, distracted, as if the air was heavier than normal.

My skin seemed to know before my mind did that she was near.

A tingle ran through my arms, like a silent current, barely a whisper of electricity under my skin.

At the same time, she was getting up too, looking at something with a slight frown, not seeing where she was going.

We didn't notice.

Until it happened.

Our backpacks collided, an awkward bump that made me take a step back. And as if that wasn't enough, our hands reached for the door handle at the same time, colliding softly, barely a brush of fingers.

The contact of our hands was like a flash: brief, warm, disarming.

For an instant, a fleeting thought crossed my mind - what if instead of pushing her away… I just grabbed her - and the vertigo of that idea made me take a step back, as if the ground had trembled.

The contact went through me like an electric shock.

Both of us frozen.

Staring into each other's eyes, so close I could see the tiny glints of light in hers.

"Oh, I'm sorry… "I murmured, more a sigh than a word, my voice barely quivering.

We both looked down at the same time, as if the world had become unbearably bright.

I felt the heat in my cheeks so obvious, so blatant, that anyone could have seen it.

"No… it's okay,” she replied, barely audible, with a tiny smile that threatened to kill me right there.

I laughed softly, more out of nervousness than anything else, not knowing what to do with my hands.

She let out an awkward giggle too, lowering her gaze for a second.

The silence became heavy, awkward and sweet at the same time.

I could hear my own heart thudding in my ears.

I decided to speak, before the awkwardness drowned us out completely.

"You're… the girl from the other night, aren't you?"

I didn't know where I got the courage.

Maybe because I needed to know if she remembered me too.

She raised her eyes at me, clearly surprised.

For a second, I feared I had ruined everything.

But then I saw her smile, just shyly.

"Yes,” she whispered.

When I heard her “yes,” a warm relief washed over me, dissolving at once the absurd fear of being forgotten.

And in that moment, the whole world seemed to become small, as if only she and I existed, trembling on the edge of something we did not yet understand.

"I'm Haneul, by the way,” I added quickly, as if I feared she would disappear if I didn't say more.

"Jiwoo,” she replied, lowering her gaze for a second before meeting my eyes again.

We stood in front of the door, too close, too aware.

A thick, sweet silence formed between us, as if we both knew we should move, but something invisible-smooth as a thread of wind-kept us still.

As we left the room, our shoulders accidentally brushed again, a small touch that left me shivering inside.

We stood there for a moment longer, standing in front of the door, in that strange silence, full of electricity and nerves.

I didn't want it to end.

I didn't want us to just say goodbye like it was nothing.

"I've never… seen you here before,” said Jiwoo, barely cocking his head, with that shy little voice that made me smile like an idiot. As if he had read my mind of what I was thinking at the time.

I cleared my throat, trying not to look too nervous.

"Ah… " I laughed softly, scratching the back of my neck. Yes, well. It's because… technically I shouldn't be in this class.

I saw her frown, curious.

"Huh?"

"I'm a little… behind,” I confessed, lowering my voice a little. I used to study at another university, but I dropped out. And now I'm starting again, from scratch.

I shrugged, trying to play it down, although inside I was dying of embarrassment.

"Oh… "She whispered, and her gaze became even sweeter, as if she wanted to tell me it wasn't a bad thing.

"So, technically, I'm two years older than almost everyone here,” I added with a laugh, to break the tension a little.

Jiwoo smiled, little, cute one.

And just when it looked like he was going to say something else - maybe ask me what I was studying or something else - a voice interrupted us.

"Jiwoo, what took you so long to come out?"

It was a tall, very pretty girl with dark hair and bright eyes.

She was looking at us with a smile, approaching us nonchalantly.

I saw Jiwoo tense up a little, but he soon relaxed.

"Ah… "Jiwoo laughed, half nervous. I told you I was going to be a little late.

The girl looked at her as if she didn't buy the excuse, but didn't insist.

"Who's your friend?" she asked immediately, looking at me curiously.

Jiwoo turned to me, blushing a little.

"Oh, uh…" He stammered, “This is Haneul."

"Nice to meet you,” I said quickly, bowing slightly in greeting.

I'm Karina,” replied the other girl, smiling big, ”It's good that Jiwoo is making friends so fast!

"Ah, yes,” I let out an awkward giggle, looking at them both. We're just getting to know each other.

I didn't know why I had wanted to clear it up so quickly. Maybe… maybe I didn't want Jiwoo to feel pressure.

Or maybe he didn't want Karina to misunderstand… something.

Whatever this was.

"I'm glad!" Karina said, nudging Jiwoo gently. It's about time you stopped being so antisocial.

Jiwoo let out a choked laugh, holding his hand to his face, as if trying to hide.

And I… I couldn't stop smiling.

I've never seen someone so cute being so embarrassed.

"Well,” Karina added, ”We're going to the cafeteria. Are you coming, Jiwoo?"

Jiwoo hesitated for a moment. He looked at me, as if he wanted to say something else.

"See you later,” he said, softly, with a shy little smile that melted me.

"Yes… see you later,” I answered, unable to hide the silly happiness that ran through me.

And as I watched them walk off together down the hallway, I stood there for a few more seconds, biting my lip to hold back a huge smile.

I saw her shyly raise a hand, as if to say goodbye, but she hesitated halfway through the gesture.

She smiled, just a shy little curve on her lips, and that smile was held in my chest like a little secret.

—Jiwoo

The whole class was torture.

I couldn't concentrate on anything the teacher said. Not when every couple of minutes I felt her gaze on me, soft and curious, like an invisible touch that made me shiver.

I tried hard to look distracted, to pretend that I was looking at my notes or my schedule, that I was just mentally going over my classes.

But it was impossible to ignore her.

Every little movement of hers called out to me.

The way she would fiddle with the sleeve of her sweater when she was bored, or how she would press her pencil against her notebook when she was trying to jot down something important.

Every time I looked up, my eyes would search for her.

Whenever I found myself looking at her too much, I would force myself to look away, pretending to be busy.

Was this normal?

Why did it feel like my heart was going to break my chest every time we were in the same space?

When the bell rang, I gathered my things quickly, still mentally going over my schedule, making sure I didn't miss any classes.

I walked toward the door, engrossed, not seeing where I was going.

Until our backpacks collided.

Until our hands brushed on the handle.

I felt her skin against mine, warm, real, quivering.

My eyes searched for hers, and when I found them, everything else disappeared.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" -she whispered, and her voice ran through me like a sigh.

"No… it's okay,” I replied, feeling foolish at the way my voice trembled.

The silence that followed was full of electricity.

Nervous laughter escaped from both of us, shy, sweet, as if we both knew something was going on, but neither of us was able to name it.

And then she spoke.

"You're… the girl from the other night, aren't you?"

My heart stumbled in my chest.

I nodded, unable to pretend anymore.

"Yes."

The nervous smile I saw form on her face gave me a small glimmer of courage.

Maybe I wasn't alone in this.

Maybe… she too was feeling the same vertigo I was.

And as we walked out the door together, our shoulders accidentally brushed once again.

Little accidents.

I felt so silly.

The whole time we stood in front of the door, I wanted to speak, to say something, anything.

But it was as if my words were hiding somewhere inaccessible.

So when I asked her why I hadn't seen her before at the university, I felt like I was throwing myself into the void.

And when she explained to me that she had left her career for a while, that she was starting over… I don't know.

She seemed brave to me.

He seemed incredibly strong to me.

I wanted to ask him more.

I wanted to know what had happened before, what he was dreaming about now, why he was back….

But then Karina appeared.

And my stomach shrank.

I knew Karina wouldn't say anything bad.

But I was embarrassed. As if the little bubble Haneul and I had created burst all at once.

I introduced her as best I could.

She was kind, sweet, as always.

But I… I just wanted to stay a little longer talking with Haneul.

When Karina invited me to go with her, I hesitated.

My heart hesitated.

But I couldn't say no to her.

So, before I left, I smiled at Haneul.

Small. Clumsy.

Hoping she would understand everything I didn't dare to say yet.

I'll see you later.

And as I walked beside Karina down the hallway, I couldn't help but look back one last time.

She was still there.

Looking at me.