#iamunsure

a.k.a young Cassie McKay inspo / visuals for my fellow pitt writers one of the stills alludes to drug use so they're going under the cut!

Allium: What’s the best thing you can cook?

I’m rather proud of my cinnamon rolls, my multi-chip cookes, and my spaghetti. I also make a pretty good stir-fry.

Daffodil: What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received?

Okay so this story is probably a little more melancholy than you had in mind buuuut…. a while back, I had this friend. She was my best friend and I considered her to be family. Over time as we talked, she found out certain things that I was lacking but sorely wanted, and she put together one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever thought of for me.

She knew how sad I was- to the point of sinking into a 2-week depression over it in August of 2012 - about not getting to graduate from NBTSC. She also knew my favorite color is indigo. We had also had a conversation about our “ideal fantasy birthday party” at one point, and I told her I was sad because I had never had a surprise party, not once, and I could never ask for one because I wouldn’t be surprised if I had asked for it.

So she put this information together and started planning. She contacted an NBTSC friend of mine and they started figuring out how to get me an indigo graduate hoodie from NBTSC, from the year that I *would* have graduated (2012). Then Kimi started planning out what would be needed for a perfect Andy-flavored surprise party. (My closest friends/favorite people, not too much for my introvertedness to handle, get me in the right mood before springing the surprise party on me, etc, etc)

It’s hands-down the nicest, most thoughtful thing, penetrating-of-my-heart, perceptive-of-my-happiness thing anyone has ever planned for me. 

Sadly, it never happened. I learned of this plan she had during a fight we were having, and our friendship dissolved a few months later.

But I still remember the planned gift, and it reminds me of the kind of person I had for a best friend for a time. So in a way, it’s still a gift. I get to remind myself of it from time to time.

Locust:What was your favorite book as a child?

THERE WERE SO MANY THOUGH.

Or have expressed interest in forging friendships but haven't done so yet.and then

this post especially is for Nola, Rhanna, Elena, Tabitha, aaaaand Rachel.

(Wow. I do not have a lot of guy friends. Huh.)

I am sorry if I haven't talked to you in a while.

I'm sorry if I've made plans (for instance, planning a skypecall) and then didn't follow through.

I'm sorry if I drop off the face of the earth sometimes.

Anxiety gets to me sometimes. I feel awkward. I feel scared, because of certain things from my past.

I'm working on it and I promise that if I've seemed to ignore you, it's probably not anything you did. In all likelihood it's because I had anxiety about talking to new people so I procrastinated, and then I felt anxious about apologizing for procrastinating so I didn't mention it and just kinda... hovered in a holding pattern. I'm not being flaky, I just get anxious that I'm making bad decisions or that  people don't want me around.

iamunsure replied to your post: I want to write a song poking fun at anglophiles...

that is brilliant xD