#iamtrying

So we're gonna ignore the fact that I posted about my story before posting about myself uhhhhhhhh

Hi everyone! My name is Onyx, I use he/they/it pronouns, and I am a writer!

I named myself Manic Studios because I've probably lost all of my braincells and supplemented them with torturing my characters and writing.

My current WIPs include:

Distortion of Beauty (a WK x Persona crossover fic) Kori and the Celestial Twins (on hold) (A FNAF Security Breach fic) I Still See Him in the Monitor Glow (a Slimeknight fic where they objectively get worse) The Voice that Carries in the Depths of Empty ( @sekai-misadventures-au ) (Part 1 of a semi-connected series where Mizuki discovers something strange at the end of Mizu5)

love is freshly lit fire gently burning to keep you warm

love is fresh dew on the morning grass

love is natural

but love can easily be mimicked by maniacs

indulging in the sins of life

live fast die young, right? that's what you always spoke before breaking down more walls

love became long nights

love became tear stained pillows from last nights makeup

love became shattered skin, and a stutter

love became less of a fantasy

less of a cozy cottage,surrounded by blooming buds and animals coming out of hibernation

love became numbing, more of a bore

or was that just you?

numb and a bore

Stuck between 2 opinions..never felt so tensed

I dont know who shall I be just to..to myself or the others..

One side..there's someone who started believing in happiness..and thn..one who is looking for it..n then ...its me.

Sunlight shines equally for every flower in a garden but sm die..and some bloom..is it the same case with ppl???

Idk how anyone would feel about getting constantly torn apart because you choose to keep the other person's belief safe with u.

Enduring pain..is it the last thing im supposed to do on dis planet ??

Haven't i my life ??

But then..how cum is it my life..?

Like..idk..but after getting to know..U r d second child..I feel..it's my brother who deserved this..life

He came pure..went pure !

I'm smtimes envious of him..

But I'm obviously oblivious of many things .

Ignorant or just mayb I don't wanna open my eyes.

Mayb it's a dream..but in dis dream..I hv realised the true potential man has in him..the potential to destroy .

I'm not a good person ik dat very well

I make mistakes I hurt ppl..but is it really the reason y m feeling so depressed ??

It feels like as if it were seconds ago..when I was sitting in d sunlight.. with a strand of hair covering half of my eye

And I was euphoric.

Mayb it was some years back..the last time I laughed without any load on my heart..

Mayb it has been years now..that ive lost myself just fearing what might happen on letting go of the grip..

Mayb it's meant to be smthng else..

But..how should I let go

None can have it all

But then..I don't even have some !

Y is it that I compromise just to keep the heart safe.

I don't want this !

I don't.

And y on earth anyone would want it?

I just don't know..U ask me how m I doing I say all good.