#iampracticing

In love with the this lil thing I made playing around with some new gouache💖. Sometimes the least detailed and planned things turn out most beautifully (to my eyes at least) ✨ • • • • • #bulletjournal #caribbeanjournal #iampracticing #watercolor #guachepainting #doodle #flowers #flowerpainting #artjournal #journaling #journal (at Madrid, Spain) https://www.instagram.com/p/CM91DNRrUWi/?igshid=1lfwk6uc51zx5

I'm not sure we need more pictures of skinny white women doing yoga. I'm not sure we need more studios with neglected statues of Shiva in the corner (says the white woman with Shiva and Hanuman in her practice space, posting photos on the internet). What I am sure of, is this: We need more questions, and we need courage and comfort in asking uncomfortable ones. We need more honesty. We need resilient nervous systems that can withstand any resultant fears. We need clear sight to examine inequities and asymmetries. We need bodies capable of carrying our whole selves and capable of connecting us with others, with the earth, with support wherever we find it, with whatever service we are here to render. There is no separation between the body that can hold an uncomfortable question or a significant truth, and the body that holds me. And so, I practice. I move. In ways I've been taught and in ways my body teaches me. I feel the relationships within this body and their representation of every other. I feel the circular connection between right foot, right hip, left shoulder, left hand. I feel the same track on the opposite diagonal, open, extending, completely different. I feel my spine, the central axis and source, moderating, sending and receiving. I feel my skull, ever unsure it is an actual part of my body rather than a separate controlling entity. I know, the more I am capable of feeling into this body, the more I am capable of feeling, in general. I know, the more I am capable of feeling, the more discomfort I can withstand - which means, the more I can learn. The more I can learn, the better I can serve; the more I can connect, the more joy I can hold. None of these things are separate. None of these things are separate, despite their apparent asymmetries. @snyderjulee and I are working on a series about Representing Yoga, and our conversations have touched on and expanded so many of the questions my self practice has unearthed over the years. I am so looking forward to continuing this important exploration and dialogue about how we represent (externally), what is essentially an inner practice. #linkinprofile #iampracticing

Some watercolor "flowers". It's been a while since I painted anything and it feels great to practice and add something to my journal 💖✨ • • • • • #bulletjournal #caribbeanjournal #iampracticing #watercolor #guachepainting #artjournal #journaling #journal https://www.instagram.com/p/CLmWUt2L5DV/?igshid=i5mf6p4dgso4

#iampracticing I think I’ll use this hashtag from now on when posting random stuff 🌺 • Creo que usare ese hashtag cuando publique todas las cosas random que se me ocurren 🌺 #crayolasupertips #staedtlerpens #bujo #caribbeanjournal

31/#40daysofstillness Here's something interesting about the cycles of my energy. The moment I feel a flicker of energy returning, my mind begins to bound ahead. I slip from slow-moving contentment right to running at the football (one of my teacher's metaphors for enthusiasm - Charlie Brown always running, and Lucy always pulling the football away.) I'm not sure I know how *not* to throw my whole self into things. I'm not sure I know how to consider that I may land flat on my back yet again. My history says although I have examples of enjoying the excitement without losing myself, there are many more of skidding into the end of the cycle/season/year exhausted and a little stunned by my stubborn refusal to consider things might not go as planned, or that the effort might take more resources than are available, that it might not even work, or worse, be damaging because my passion has blinded me to some basic truth. Some of it is sheer, pure enthusiasm. And the darker side is built on and perpetuated by this very cycle. It's a lack of trust that I have the stamina to see the thing through. On an even deeper level, it's a fear of my mortality. With these bigger visions, do I have enough years left to build what I intend to leave? At least I now know there are cycles, and when I arrive in a natural need for rest or an overexerted depletion, I trust that the energy will return. But something in the early excitement fears the lull. I wonder if there's a way that myself in every part of the cycle can know and respect the self that is coming or going, in order to run more carefully and steadily, in order to feel the opportunity to pause and evaluate, to change course if necessary? I wonder if it's possible not to lose the excitement or enjoyment in the process? (I've asked myself this question before, and I've answered it positively. And my need to ask it again means I am still learning.) This is not what I was thinking about, lying in rest this morning. This musing was the result of the feeling the spark of energy returning, and watching my mind leaping to all the incredible uses for a body that's alive and ready and willing to work. #iampracticing

Moon-half-full. I'm wondering, lately, about this word: abundance. And I'm starting to wonder if many of my tricky relationships with particular words are really an opportunity to look again, and maybe, to shift my stories and associations. This word had always generated thoughts about privilege, and value/worth, and, well. Woo. Despite the fact that my woo is fairly well-documented. How should we talk about abundance when inequities abound? How greedy would it feel to call in abundance on top of layers of privilege and fierce optimism? I don't have answers, yet, and as usual, I have more questions. But after 40 plus days of spending time with abundance, examining what it *could* mean in the best of all possible connotations, and exploring why there might be a goddess of abundance if it's such a tricky concept (maybe for the same reason I had so many struggles with this other word - devotion - before it became deeply meaningful to me.) And I'm wondering, now, if abundance is actually about accountability. Walking willing (thank you, Sister Simone Campbell.) I wonder if it's actually about partnership, and collaboration. And strikingly, about softness. Or that ever-elusive balance between softness and strength. Maybe, abundance is a generosity that excludes none. Maybe, it's something to aspire to, to be practiced, instead of dismissed (kind of like devotion). I am practicing. #iampracticing

Extending grace. For all our human messes. For all we can't know about each other's wounds. For the way we keep on going, despite ourselves. For the moments we realize we can do this differently, we can make another choice, and do. For growing skill, and growing compassion. For knowing what we stand for, and how we make that stand. For personal and professional integrity. For the satisfaction of doing our very best, and knowing still, we are beginners. For growing skill. For ourselves. For each other. For those we serve and those we love and those we do not even know. For the earth. #iampracticing

How to heal a hip: REST. Move slowly, gently. Be tender, loving toward what is hurting, gather it close. Ask the body, what needs support, and what needs softness? Where is space needed, and where strength? Ask, what feels *good*? Consult trusted healers but do not ignore internal wisdom. Look for patterns, seek understanding. Observe sensation. Hold thoughts, fears, optimism, plans lightly. Feel grateful for what is still here, because eventually, all of it will be lost. Enjoy what is here, now. (More specifically, how to heal *my* hip. More generally, how to *heal*: tissues, hearts, selves, communities, cultures maybe even.) #iampracticing #whatyoucannotsee