#iamonewiththemango

The only way I know how to eat a mango is like a crazed animal, I can use some sophisticated recipies to try 🙈

Oh! Oh, oh, oh— this is so flattering, I—oh! You must understand, I am not accustomed to having my cooking praised so widely (or, frankly, at all, given that my Lord Lindir is usually too busy sighing over misplaced paperwork to notice when I feed him).

But—but! If Lindir has actually been praising my mango chutney to others, then I must assume either:

He truly enjoyed it, which is thrilling beyond words.

He is attempting to distract from some mild catastrophe that I have yet to discover.

He is subtly encouraging me to make more, in which case—I see you, my Lord. I see what you are doing.

Now! As for the mango chutney recipe, I would be honored to share it with you and @erulasse23! (Though I must say, eating a mango like a ‘crazed animal’ is still a perfectly valid and highly respectable method. Sometimes the fruit calls to us in its most primal form!!!)

Let me guide you through this life-altering process.

"Eredin’s Very Important, Absolutely Foolproof, Lindir-Approved Mango Chutney Recipe"

Ingredients (Prepare to Ascend)

1 large, ripe mango (peeled & diced—please resist the temptation to eat it as you chop)

2 tbsp sugar (brown sugar will make the chutney whisper secrets to your soul)

2 tbsp vinegar (apple cider or white; let chaos decide)

½ tsp salt (for balance, like all things should be)

Pepper to taste

½ tsp chili flakes (optional, but recommended if you have the spirit of adventure)

½ tsp cumin (deep, smoky, mysterious… much like Lindir’s ability to appear when I have made a mess in the kitchen)

I added some curry seeds and mashed them but this is depending on your taste for spicy food

1 tsp aleppey tumeric

1 tsp of ground nutmeg

Honey (I added 1 tsp)

½ tsp ginger (grated or powdered—either works, but fresh makes you feel accomplished)

¼ tsp cinnamon (trust me, just do it, though I encourage adding more than that)

1 garlic clove, minced (because garlic belongs in everything, even my heart)

1 small onion, finely chopped (yes, you will cry, but for a noble cause)

A splash of water (or a dramatic pour, depending on your mood)

Instructions (A Journey of Flavor and Questionable Self-Control)

A./ Begin with patience. In a pan, sauté your finely chopped onion and minced garlic in a little oil. Stir gently. Pretend you are an ancient elven alchemist, coaxing the flavors into their ultimate form. Once soft and fragrant, breathe it in. This is your moment.

B./ Now, the magic. Add the diced mango, sugar, vinegar, salt, spices, and a splash of water. Stir lovingly. Whisper to it, if you must. Encourage it on its journey to greatness.

C./ Let it simmer. Keep the heat low and let everything meld together for about 15-20 minutes (my mango was a tough cookie so I let it simmer for 30-40 minutes). Stir occasionally. Watch as the mango breaks down into a jammy, golden wonder. Feel pride. You are now a creator of something sublime.

D./ Taste. Adjust. Contemplate life. More sugar? More vinegar? Do you require more heat? This is your masterpiece. Make it yours. I chose to blend mine because I was not a fan of chunks, so if you want yours perfectly smooth, add a bit of water (if necessary) and blend it using a blender/mixer.

E./ Cool & store. Once it has cooled, transfer it into a jar. It will keep in the fridge for about a week, but honestly… will it even last that long? Also you can freeze portions but let's be honest, who would freeze this precious chutney????

F./ Serve it with: Everything. I mean it. Cheeses, breads, roasted vegetables, grilled meats, spoons straight from the jar at midnight. This chutney is a companion to all meals.

I sincerely hope you enjoy this! And if you find yourself eating it straight from the jar with a spoon at midnight, please know that I hold no judgment. That is simply how these things go.