Alright. I’ll give you a summary of the major issues I have with Sly 4, and try to keep it brief. Here’s an itemized list of 30 years of disagreements (Sweet Jesus):

-First off, the first half of the game is fucking incredible. (If that sounds like a weird place to start, that’s only because it is.) The opening recaptures the spirit of the games wonderfully - and given I was a returning fan, fresh off an eight-year hiatus, that was amazing - Japan is beautiful and builds well, and Cotton Mouth Bluff is probably my favourite level in the entire damn franchise.Even leaving aside how I can’t pretend bad installments of my favourite things didn’t happen - that’s just not how my brain works - part of the reason Sly 4 irks me is because it had so much goddamn potential. It’s an updated Sly Cooper game where he and the Gang go on time-adventures. We were so close to something incredible. This should, by rights, be my favourite game in the series, and also of all time.I’m angry because I care.

-Carmelita’s redesign. She was already a very sexualized character, but she used to have sensible jeans and a sense of vaguely realistic athleticism. Sanzaru insisted on pushing the sexualization further, and since we started at a pretty advanced point, it got taken to frankly disgusting levels. Her waist terrifies me. You can see her ribs. The badass Interpol inspector is now worryingly underweight. It legitimately creeps me out.

-I don’t like the caveman level. This is the least analytical gripe, I admit that. I just… don’t like the caveman aesthetic. Never liked the Flintstones or anything similar. That’s just subjective.What’s not subjective is how the Gang ending up in just the right place and time to stumble across another of Le Paradox’s lieutenants is a strong contender for the least likely coincidence in all of fiction. But whatevs. Them improvising an escape while falling down a cliff was cool.

-Likewise, as Cooper ancestors go, Bob is very underwhelming. He’s a big ugly block who reuses the Guru’s joke. Instead of Henriette or Slaigh or anybody else in the Vault or Henriette, we got this guy. Great.

-The Grizz. Unfunny character with an awful boss fight. Complete bungling of what a graffiti is or does or sounds like. Unnervingly racist.

-The Penelope twist. Good god in heaven, what even was that? I mean, I was interested. I gave the game the benefit of the doubt, all ears for what the explanation was. Unfortunately, that explanation never came. We’re still not sure what the hell was going through Penelope’s head. She’s just evil now. A lovable character, funny and endearing and not overly sexualized (which in this series is rare), just… twisted. For no real reason.There’s zero textual information justifying her decisions. Especially because the focus is entirely on Bentley, giving her no room to explain herself. And sure! Bentley’s great, I love him, but I also love Penelope and I also love(d) their in-practice painfully brief relationship. I want Geeks in Love doing Crimes Together, not a half-assed betrayal twist.

-Ms Decibel. Irritating to watch. Retread of both Octavio and the Contessa. Has no reason for having mind control powers. The fact it’s just “ha ha there is a trumpet in her nose” genuinely irritates me. This isn’t hard sci-fi, but it ain’t Looney Tunes either. Try harder.The Joke Is That She Is Fat And Ugly. Ha Ha Ha.

-The Carmelita belly dance. Sweet CHRIST. If I keep coming back to this, it’s because it’s gotten me progressively angrier ever since the first time I played it and felt an uncomfortable churn in my gut.This shit is genuinely disturbing. She is coerced. Why did Sanzaru think this was a good idea? Everybody in the writer’s room signed off on this; anyone who may have wanted to stop it didn’t manage to. Then it got animated and designed and Grey DeLisle was called into the booth to voice how beloved strong-willed icon of my childhood Inspector Carmelita Fox was deeply uncomfortable with this sexual act three men she was close to were forcing her to perform. I don’t find this shit amusing. Kids play these fucking games, man.

-Carmelita’s (lack of) use in general. She gets some good moments when she’s first dragged along, again making Tennessee’s level the best. Then she storms off during Bob’s. Then, after wandering back and calming down? Next to nothing. She’s barely there.Bentley shutting down over Penelope’s betrayal was a perfect opportunity for her to take charge and show off her tactical prowess as an officer. What did we get? “Uh… let’s go with Galleth’s plan, then walk forward through Penelope’s front gate. idk guys” Outside of objectifying her, Sanzaru had no idea what to do with her, and it shows.

-The underwhelming climax. The finale of Sly 2 felt earned. The original three all had great final acts, but I bring up the second because it resembles the fourth. In both, there’s a last-minute upset where everything the Gang has accomplished so far is suddenly snatched away.But Sly 2 built that feeling. From the moment Jean Bison sees through the Gang’s disguises, things get worse and worse. The time they spend in stony silence, hiding in that battery, really creates a sense of encroaching dread. Things are going wrong, but they’re going wrong slowly. And that’s worse.Sly 4 - perhaps due to a dwindling budget - rockets through where that suspense should be. “Le Paradox showed up and stole Carmelita and then his plan worked and he was king of everything and we were sad but we went to fight him anyway.” wow. my emotions. i’m so invested.One of the lines I can particularly remember is “I don’t ever remember feeling so defeated.” Oh, you don’t, Sly? Not when you lost every Clockwerk Part at once? Not when Clockwerk was reassembled and Neyla merged with him? Not when you watched your parents be murdered in front of you?It’s 100% Tell, 0% Show. That’s not how you do a finale.

-Le Paradox. God. Just… god. Obnoxious in a way that isn’t entertaining. An awful, nasty character who does not receive an adequate level of comeuppance for his overblown, overwrought crimes. Rapey. He hates Sly for something Conner did; Sly has no agency here, he’s just a victim, pulled into the story because he’s directly threatened over something he had no part in. That’s bad writing. Bad writing which retreads other, more interesting antagonists.Doesn’t hold a candle to Clockwerk, Arpeggio, Neyla or Dr M. Unlike them, Le Paradox survives his game, which a) feels like too light a punishment if everybody else got a dramatic death and b) creates the worrying prospect they intend to bring him back. Ugh. Would work fine as an insignificant filler villain; instead, has means, power level, and (intended) gravitas outstripping Clockwerk. Total disconnect between his persona and his stupid, childishly powerful plan.Bigger =/= better.Skunks don’t come from France.

And, of course, the grand finale. The last thing to happen to Sly Prime. To this day, four and a half years later, the current state of the original series, and what may well be the overall ending at this point no matter what Sanzaru originally intended long-term. Everybody sing along at home~!

-A terrible cliffhanger ending with no sequel greenlit!

There. That about covers it. For me, anyway. Everybody has their own take.For the record, every box in that brain meme is a genuine opinion of mine. Sly 4 is most certainly a Sly game. It has amazing art and great moments. It brought in a ton of new fans, and kept the franchise going. That can’t be undervalued.But it’s the most flawed installment by a wide, wide margin. Sly 1 was rough, but a lot of that feels like beginner’s jitters. 4′s flaws feel more like huge, enthusiastic strides in the wrong goddamn direction, made by well-meaning people who are super excited to bring the franchise to places I do not want it to go. Like Sexual Objectification Town.

I don’t hate it blindly, but I can’t pretend I love it. I’m not gonna repress my negativity. This is my blog where I talk about Sly Cooper. And when I talk about Sly 4, I won’t skip over its flaws. In the vague hope that maybe, if I explain how and why these things don’t work, there’ll be less of these mistakes in the world. For my own writing, if nothing else. Straightening out my emotions into coherent, rational analysis. Looking toward the future.

I mean they are in France, so I would always expect French coming out of their mouths. It's just logical to me.

lifehack: get snap to answer your excellent prompt by outright telling him you like his opinions

Excellent prompt! Well, first thing’s first: what ancestors would there be? I can’t come up with counterparts if there aren’t, um, parts. So let’s scrape together a quick line-up. All things considered, Slytunkhamen is a shoe-in. Let’s throw in our girl Henriette, and Thaddeus too. And, uh… sorta running out here… round out to five with Otto von Cooper and good ol’ Slaigh. 

That established - what makes a good villain? Long story short, an interesting contrast to the hero. So, 

Slytunkhamen - (Consolidating the three different holders of this name into one person for simplicity’s sake)SOMEONE WHO PLAYS CHILDREN’S CARD GAMESOkay, sorry, had to get that out of my system. As I recall, Slytunkhamen - plural - stole from corrupt pharaohs, making him quite the little anarchist. I think it follows that his opponent would be authoritarian, somehow representing if not embodying the local state apparatus. If most villains are imported in, a la Le Paradox’s gang, then maybe this one, in contrast, is literally just the local governor. Heck, depending on the plot, that might even fit nicely. Having Sly and Slytunkhamen deal with a local fracas before the time-travel plot can get properly underway.

Henriette - Well. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that, as the only female Cooper with a monument in the Vault, Henriette is pretty much representing her entire gender. She is The Girl. So that will need to be considered in light of how she’s likely (definitely) going to be the only female ancestor.The obvious route is to have a General Tsao type, an obnoxious misogynist who we help Henriette pound into the surf. That said - as much as I like to destroy obnoxious misogynists - it might also be interesting to have her rival also be a woman. Not in a Designated Girl Fight way, more in a “We’re both women in a man’s world but I still goddamn despise her” way. I dunno.I wanna talk in terms of Henriette’s actual personality, but unfortunately we don’t have much to go on aside from the fact she was (presumably) pretty smart and tough as nails. Whoever’s going toe to toe with the lesbian queen of the high seas better be worthy of her respect. Savvy?...Well, she can smell gold, right? Maybe her opponent should wear a ton of jewelry. Maybe even have gold in their prosthetics. H: “Avast, Sly! Not a sound.”S: “What? What’s wrong?”H: [sniff, sniff] “...She’s here.”

Slaigh - Slaigh’s stated to the be strongest of the Coopers, and has the absurd body shape to back up that claim. That leaves us with two obvious choices. The first is the classic Brains vs Brawn setup. The villain is a spindly little mastermind who tries to outthink Slaigh. This villain, btw, is 100% from England. That’s just unavoidable.But that character concept sounds very reminiscent of Arpeggio, and “loud bruiser versus tiny nerd in bygone Britain” sounds very reminiscent of Galleth vs Penelope. So in the interest of variety, here’s a second idea: Possibly my favourite Irish legend myth is our origin story for the Giant’s Causeway. Basically, Fionn mac Cumhaill, our strongest champion (who was like eight foot something) got challenged to a fistfight to a giant from Scotland who was even stronger. So instead of Brains vs Brawn, it’s Brawn vs More Brawn. Slaigh’s the strongest Cooper, but how much does that really mean? Sly and the Gang has to help him against a physically tougher opponent - and the resulting blow to his pride that might bring.

Otto - Otto, by contrast, is one of the smartest Coopers. So take everything I just said about Slaigh and reverse the polarity. Either someone equally skilled in engineering and mechanics, or a great big brute he needs tech to compete with. I’d kinda lean towards brute. Too often villain is the tinkerer and the hero smashes their toys. It’d be nice to see the other way around.

Ahh, thank you so much!

I totally agree about the fighting style! That’s one thing about Le Paradox I file under “Missed Opportunity” rather than “Bad Idea”; during his confrontation, his movements are obviously designed as a counterpart to Sly. He uses similar acrobatics and fights with a one-handed melee weapon. Unfortunately, the actual fighting is confined to quicktime events, but actually having a full boss fight against someone with Sly’s style would be amazing. That’s one of my all-time favourite video game tropes: can you survive your own tactics?

god, beth is just more and more becoming my answer to le paradox

As for a sketch, I would also love to see one! It sure as heck isn’t coming from me, though :L Thankfully, though our fandom be small, it’s got a fine selection of wonderful artists - and even if it didn’t, we’ve kinda become a satellite town to the massive city of Zootopia.