#iameloho

Thanks for stopping by to read my little rant/opinion piece, enjoy your stay.

Writer, Dream McClinton penned a piece for The Guardian’s Shades of Black series originally titled: Dark-skinned Black Girls Don’t Get Married and black social media collectively lost its ding-dong mind! You could almost hear black women throwing their phones and laptops against the wall after writing angry tweets to respond to the article. Black women were enraged and let Ms. McClinton and The Guardian know the article was dead wrong because they are dark-skinned and married and how dare she—Ms. McClinton, speak for all black women. However, one must wonder, what indeed caused this anger from dark-skinned black women, was it the article’s content or the article’s title? Ms. McClinton’s article has since been retitled: Why dark-skinned black girls like me aren't getting married. The backlash (over the original title) has calmed considerably, but it’s now opened an entire conversation that makes people, specifically black people really, really, uncomfortable and it’s about colorism. 

In case you’re unaware of precisely what colorism is and to make sure we’re all on the same page here’s what I got when I typed the words: define colorism into Google.com:

col·or·ism

noun

US

noun: colorism; noun: colourism

prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group. 

If you are a non-black person reading this, welcome to my rant, thanks for coming. Black folks, we know that colorism is kind of like that creepy-ass uncle at the cookout that we keep the kids away from. We don’t discuss him with other family members because it’s too distasteful, we just avoid him. This is the way the black community has dealt with colorism for centuries, dating back to slavery, where lighter-skinned slaves (often the offspring of slave owners) received preferential treatment over darker skinned slaves. However, for many dark-skinned black women colorism is akin to terminal illness. Colorism can be like pervasive cancer that runs through our lives, slowly eating away at our self-esteem, sense of belonging and often our ability to find a mate among our contemporaries, as illustrated in Ms. McClinton’s article.  

 We’ve done the prerequisite history lesson, and proper definition of our subject matter now let’s get to the good stuff… Dream McClinton’s controversial journalistic piece. The article is written from Ms. McClinton’s perspective and in her voice, she’s a dark-skinned black woman, this is her experience. Therefore, social media responses leave me a bit baffled. How can someone’s personal experience be labeled wrong? “I’ll take Crock of Bull for $200, Alex!” The answer is: You were triggered by Ms. McClinton’s article because you recognized her truth. You recognized the colorism in the black community, and you probably even recognized your own complicit behavior in colorism towards people who look just like you. In my opinion, that’s one of the main reasons this piece has some people so shook.

 Ms. McClinton speaks of online dating and the preference of men who look like her in skin tone preferring women of lighter complexion. Preference is the word dark-skinned black women often hear from black men (especially dark-skinned ones) stated as their reason for why they don’t want to date/marry women who share the same complexion as them. This is a running theme throughout the article, and unfortunately, it’s a running theme throughout the lives of many dark-skinned black women. Being chosen last or not at all by men who are the masculine reflection of themselves, and it’s an incredibly hard pill to swallow, one that dark-skinned black women have been force-fed in silent obscurity for decades.

 In recent years there’s been a change in the colorism conversation and a blessed one at that, in the form of the social media colorism movement. I can only speak on the ones that I follow, the most prominent one in the group is Chrissie, mocked by haters as a fat, ugly, and faceless YouTuber. Chrissie has started a platform exclusively for uplifting dark-skinned black women by addressing colorism head on. She steamrolls into the issues with a no holds barred approach in a telling the truth till it hurts kind of way. She tackles the effects of colorism on dark-skinned black women, addresses problems dealing with colorist men in relationships, how to work around people who try to gaslight dark-skinned black women when they call out colorist behavior from other, and even how to navigate colorist friends and relatives. Chrissie also endeavors to negate the helplessness that dark-skinned black women often feel dealing with colorism by giving dark-skinned women solutions with her Femininity and Leveling-Up Series. Her platform is highly effective and has a near cult following because she’s not just saying, I’m dark-skinned, woe is me, she offers practical tools to dark-skinned women. This March, Chrissie accomplished what she promised years ago and launched the first fashion and beauty magazine of its kind, specifically for dark-skinned black women called Divine Dark Skin, available in print and digital formats. During the past three years that I’ve been following Chrissie, she’s been threatened and doxed several times. However, her detractors can get no real traction because quite frankly, she’s a force to be reckoned with, who remains determined and vigilant in her mission.  

 There are other dark-skinned black women on YouTube making a difference in the colorism conversation as well: Author, of Swirling: How to Date, Mate, and Relate Mixing Race, Culture, and Creed, ‎Christelyn Karazin has her YouTube platform Beyond Black & White Elite which receives hate regularly. She is known on YouTube as an advocate for Swirling (interracial dating). She discusses colorism and a plethora of other issues facing black women and her mantra for black women is; Choosing the best man for the job even if you date outside of your race. She’s received threats and doxing for her message but grows her platform undeterred. There’s also a younger generation of YouTubers getting the word out there to dark-skinned black women and girls like Paris Milan, Leah Gordone, For Harriet, and I am Eloho. These younger ladies are impressive in their passion, determination, and grit in schooling their contemporaries on colorism, and I wish I had this medium available when I was growing up.

 The Guardian’s article on colorism and the series is a small drop in the pond, the colorism conversation has been going on for some time. It seems the reason some people have taken exception to Ms. McClinton’s article is that it’s in The Guardian. Twitter was dripping with tweets and comments so grimy and tacky you could use them to stick up wallpaper. Many people stated their disdain was because the article aired our dirty laundry in white media. Really? How about we clean our laundry ourselves then there’ll be nothing to air out? When dark-skinned, (so-called) rapper Kodak Black makes his contempt for dark-skinned women known on social media outlets, the black community (collectively) is quiet. When black men on YouTube make video after video spewing vitriol on how they hate dark-skinned black women and dark-skinned black women ain’t sh!t, the black community (collectively), is quiet. Then finally, when dark-skinned women begin to speak about the systemic abuse through colorism, they receive at the hands of the community that is supposed to love and embrace them; oddly enough, they are told to be quiet. And that my dear reader, is why Ms. McClinton’s article has folks so shook because it’s not YouTube, you can’t brush it off as some nut job with an opinion that’s solely their own. The Guardian is a respected newspaper in two countries, and you cannot brush that off or bury it. It’s too forthright, too in your face, has too much clout. Reading Ms. McClinton’s article, which contains interviews from professors who had hard facts, data, charts, basically, McClinton came with receipts! So, for those of you who are acting like your foundation has been shaken, I say, GOOD!

 Dark-skinned black women will no longer remain mute and suffer in silence like good little girls. There’s no need to yell or scream; however, we will no longer stay quiet either. We are your mothers, wives, teachers, sisters, and daughters. We are the backbone of the black community, and we deserve better collectively. I know colorism will not end in my lifetime and I’m okay with that. However, what won’t happen on my watch is any young black girl that I’m responsible for, she will NEVER feel the sense of inadequacy that I was made to feel growing up. That’s the challenge I place before every dark-skinned black woman now, find a young girl (if you don’t have a daughter) and mentor her about colorism and its effects. Teach her how special she is and how to love an appreciate all the melanin she’s been blessed with and more importantly how to navigate colorism in our community.

I must be frank, the article did affect me as well because honestly, I identified with Ms. McClinton’s story. I think it’s safe to say that several dark-skinned black women reading the story could relate. Here’s the thing, we know what the problem is, and yes, we should continue these colorism conversations because they are essential and dark-skinned women need to be heard and supported. However, I think the article left me with a sense of yes, Dream, it’s all true girl, now let’s get to the business of fixing this mess! These are the conversations I want to start having in mainstream media like The Guardian very soon because it’s high time. It’s time for dark-skinned black women to start being more pro-active in the fight against colorism. I take nothing away from Ms. McClinton’s article, I loved it. However, I’d like to see more solutions in mainstream media about colorism instead of stories about the problem. Clearly, I’m not the only one who feels that way either, the inaugural issue of Divine Dark Skin Magazine sold out its first print run in record time and is on back order. Like many others, I am patiently waiting for my issue.

 Truthfully, as a dark-skinned woman, I’m exhausted with the foolishness that I endure from my own people. I’m not, “pretty/beautiful/sexy for a dark-skinned woman.” Normally, I respond to these comments with resting bitch-face, “well, gee thanks, I suppose you’re handsome for an asshole.” Understand I’ve received these comment from men and women growing up. “She’s so pretty for a dark-skinned girl,” I remember one woman telling my mother in the grocery store. I rolled my eyes at her, I was twelve. I usually get called a bitch for my various unhappy reactions, c’est la vie. But you, my brother/sister didn’t give me a compliment. As a man, if you, “normally don’t date dark-skinned women,” please don’t let me break your tenet. I wouldn’t dream of asking you to bend your rules for little ole’ me…really. It’s old, it’s trite, and it’s tired.

 Dark-skinned black women, you aren’t crazy, if you think a remark or action was colorist it is colorist, don’t let them gaslight you, you have a functioning brain. Remember you are not alone, find the support of other women who are like you and having similar experiences, not to whine on each other’s shoulders but to lift each other up. Hard facts: if we don’t do the work to help ourselves, no one else will, the black community has told us over, and over, that collectively they do not care about us, they do not value us, and dark-skinned black women, for the most part, we are on our own. Hopefully, we will gain allies along the way but first things first, we must help ourselves.

 Please be sure to check out the rest of The Guardians’ Shades of Black series specifically focused on colorism.

You can also check out the YouTube platforms that I mentioned above using either the links in my piece or the links listed below:

Chrissie       Divine Dark Skin Magazine         Beyond Black & White Elite        Paris Milan    Leah Gordone     For Harriet       I am Eloho

 Also, be sure to follow me on my Social Media platforms:

Twitter: @SusanABuchana15

Facebook: @sabuchananauthor

Instagram: @paidforthenight

Pinterest:  susanabuchanan0739

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