An Essay About Wilson
James Evan Wilson was raised in an extremely strict, traditional, controlling Orthodox Jewish family that taught him divorce is worse then death and love should only exist between a man and a woman (hence Wilson has extreme suppression and denial about any and all LGBT thoughts he has towards one Greg House). He was raised believing he needed to be the perfect servant to everybody, that he is worthless if he is not being of service. That his only purpose is being useful and kind to others, which is why he's such a repressed mess who clings to the performance of being a 'good person' by his fingernails. He believes he's not 'allowed' to have flaws or make mistakes or be anything but lovely to everybody. This is being House's friend is such a relief to him, because, whilst everybody else (including society in general) would judge him (in his opinion anyway), House doesn't. Think of it this way: the sprinkler system goes off, flooding several hallways in the hospital. Everybody immediately blames House, because that's what's expected of him. Even if Wilson, truthfully, confessed that it was actually him, either nobody would believe him (they'd think he was attempting to cover for House), OR they'd think House put him up to it. Nobody would ever think James 'goody-two-shoes' Wilson could do a thing like that separate from House.
In an alternate universe where Wilson never met House and the two of them live several thousand miles apart, living totally separate lives, and those same sprinklers went off in the hospital, nobody would even consider Wilson as a culprit. Again, even if he confessed, people would think he was trying to save the real culprit from getting into trouble, and, if, by some miracle, Wilson was able to convince them that it really was him, people would say things like 'I thought I knew you,' and 'I expected better from you.' People would look at him with a mixture of confusion and judgement, and James was taught that judgement is equal to death, basically. You need to be accepted and seen in high regard by society, otherwise you're worthless. That is what his parents drilled into his skull.
He believes he NEEDS to have a wife, NEEDS to perform 'goodness', NEEDS to be of service, otherwise he's nothing, otherwise he'll be hated, otherwise he's everything awful and evil in this world.
Thus, Wilson bottles up all his human urges/emotions. He doesn't LET himself be sad or mad. He was taught the typical toxic male bullshit of 'real men don't cry' and (slur incoming), 'crying is for pussies'. At his core, Wilson is a socially devious little chaos gremlin. He loves gossip and drama. He loves mischief and pranks. He's playful, he's a child at heart, he loves to have fun. If Wilson had a normal, healthy childhood, he would have been the cute kind of prankster, whoopie cushions and buckets of water on heads. Harmless fun that makes everybody giggle. As a teen, if raised in a healthy household, Wilson would have upped the ante a bit. Maybe he'd have smoked weed or drag-raced or stayed out will dawn. Maybe his mischief and pranks would have walked the thin line between fun and harmful. He'd have probably gone too far a time or two, and although he'd have felt bad if the person was innocent, he'd love the revenge of giving somebody what was coming to them. However, he was kept so strictly, locked up so tightly (emotionally speaking), that he was afraid to do any of that. His natural, playful, often revengeful and spiteful self, was never even seen, because he was beaten (metaphorically) into complete submission.
Wilson wasn't physically harmed (in my opinion) but he was brow-beaten. Verbally, emotionally and psychologically controlled/abused. Wilson would never see himself as abused though. He'd say 'my parents did their best', or nothing at all, because he was taught to never say anything remotely bad about them. In fact, saying they 'tried their best' would probably be taken as an insult, because they didn't 'try', they were the best parents, in their opinion.
When Wilson got his first divorce, his entire family from his parents to his most distantly removed cousin, grew a hatred for him. It's not clear if Wilson’s brother Danny ran away before or after Wilson’s first divorce, but either way, these two events made Wilson’s entire family cut him off not long before he met House.
When Wilson met House, he was freshly divorced, his brother has not long run away and Wilson blames himself (as well as his family blaming him), and his family had cut him off. All his worst fears of being a failure and hated and out casted have come true. Like the good actor he is though, Wilson is pretending to be fine, but he's hanging onto sanity by his teeth. To look at him, nobody would know anything is wrong because Wilson is the king of repression. He'd be acting totally normal. Then, some jerk kept playing Billy Joel's Leave A Tender Moment Behind on the jukebox of the medical convention Wilson was at - and he EXPLODES. He throws that bottles and attracts the attention of one Greg House.
Greg House is the first and only person who SEES Wilson. Who not only knows all of Wilson’s human ugliness (selfishness, pettiness, revengeful, ect), but LIKES it. House sees Wilson for who he really is, and Wilson LOVES being seen
This is why, even through House’s flaws (and by God does he have MANY) and extreme action, Wilson stays with him. House is like the human embodiment of all of Wilson's impulses. He says what Wilson wishes he could say. He's raw and brutally honest, unapologetically himself, even as ugly as that can be, whilst Wilson hides his ugliness under a strictly kept facadè, is almost never honest, and is never himself. Wilson wants to burn down some bitches and screw over some societal rules, but he’s so restrained he can't let himself - but House can. Which means Wilson gets to help and get away with it! He also gets to blow shit up on his own and nobody will even look in his direction because they'll just blame House. With House, Wilson can be the mischievous little chaos gremlin he was born to be! He can prank, he can go too far, he can manipulate, be petty, take revenge, be vindictive, be spiteful, and be straight up evil, and House will LOVE it. Only House gets to see Wilson's humanity, and only House accepts Wilson. House gives Wilson true unconditional love, and Wilson can finally be free with House.
When Wilson gets back with his first ex wife Samantha, he can't even tell her about the little things she does that annoy him, like putting the milk in the fridge door rather then the inner fridge until his frustration builds and builds with more tiny things like that until Wilson gets at her about it. Wilson holds stuff in and holds stuff in until he explodes under the pressure, feels guilty, and tries ten times as hard to be a 'good person', which builds pressure as he swallows all his bad feelings, until he explodes - and repeats. That's been Wilson's entire life. It's how he get House.
But with House?
Wilson YELLS at House. With others, Wilson will complain after he hits his boiling point, but its only with House that he YELLS. He's afraid to complain about milk with Sam, but will straight up say to his only friends face that "not even I like you" and worse! He tells House that he's an evil bastard that everybody hates. That's some harsh language from Kind and Nice James Wilson. He punches House. He purposefully breaks a disabled man's only means of walking (sawing House’s cabe so it snaps under him)! Imagine sabotaging someone's wheelchair so it collapses as they're in it! That's the equivalent here. Wilson has purposefully destroyed a disabled person's only means of transport and independence. It reminds me of this meme:
My version 😁
The point is: with House, Wilson gets to be feral. They match each others freak SO HARD and they're soulmates in every sense of the word. My boy James would have spent the rest of his life repressing and surpressing and depressing until he exploded with anger and repeating that cycle until the end of his days.
Until there was House.
