#i.l.c

God I am not strong. All I can think about is if he's okay. I need one sign that he's safe and not passed out drunk on the side of the road. I'm sick of watching him destroy everything he was given for fun, to fill a void. I understand the need to get rid of the emptiness, i used to do it every day with various pieces of metal.. but i watch him inhale smoke and tar and burn holes into his brain and arms. It kills me. I have never been in love like this. I have never fallen as fast and hard and i feel like im back in elementary school with a puppy dog crush on a silly boy. But he's not just a boy. He's the most beautiful boy I've ever seen in my life, from his crooked teeth to those sky blue eyes. I want him safe, I want him okay, I want him here.