Ha, and of course today is the day that I pull open Facebook and see one of those "the only disability is a bad attitude" memes.
Like...yeah, okay I get it.
It definitely helps to be positive and have good self-efficacy and all that wonderful shit, nothing against that. It can help.
But ultimately like...having a good attitude isn't going to undo my condition.
If I can't fucking walk to class, I can't fucking walk to class no matter how great my attitude is.
And it's really easy to just...tell someone with a disability like, "Look on the bright side," or "be strong," but you don't fucking understand.
Having a condition can make you feel like you're out of control of your body. That there's nothing you can do. And in my case especially, my body is weak. Do you know how fucking hard it is to feel overall good about yourself when you can't even do something as simple as walk to a fucking class that's only ten minutes tops away from where you start out at? Do you fucking get how that feels? Do you know what it feels like to have your entire body tremble and threaten to give out on you? What it feels like to fall down or up stairs because you're too weak to support yourself? I'm guessing no.
Because if you did you'd know how fucking hard it can be to just...pull yourself up at all and keep walking. And I'm sure as hell not going to sit here and be like, "Lol, it's my bad mood keeping me down, obviously."
Just...ugh.
I'm sorry, if that helps people or makes them feel empowered, more power to you, then.
But it makes me feel like shit like...it's one of those things people love to throw at people who have conditions and disorders and disabilities like, "You know if you just changed your diet you'd probably feel a lot better."
Oh wow, really? It's that simple? If I changed my diet I suddenly wouldn't have this condition anymore? Wow, thank you, doctor. You've been a huge help. I'm so glad you know exactly what I'm going through.
And yeah, I get that people mean well with that. I get (yet again) that certain things can help. But like...don't act like me having a good attitude about something suddenly makes me cured and as though I no longer have a disability.
You fucking deal with it and tell me how happy you'd be. How strong you'd be.
I was born with this. I've been dealing with this for 23 years and frankly sometimes I get really fucking sick and tired of it. Sue me.
I just...ugh. I'm sorry. That shit drives me up the fucking wall.
