#i'm...i'm so sorry

(me and thealexicon late at night)

Alex: hey bro let's play a game okay, let's play five second MS Paint drawings of robots with no references

Me: okay

draw Starscream as a dorito

Alex: done

Me: now draw Trailcutter

Alex: did you say draw Yellow Submarine Trailcutter? done

Me: draw First Aid

Alex: I'm gonna draw him angry because he's always angry

Me: He's not always angry.

Alex: I'm gonna draw him angry

Alex: draw Soundwave

Me: YOU draw soundwave

Alex: he has those cat ear things, right?

Me: I don't fuckin know

Alex: I like that he presses a button on his crotch

Me: let's do more

Alex: I...I just love Rumble, okay

Me: mine looks like a ninja turtle

Alex: now draw Rodimus

Me: FUCK you

what does rodimus even look like

Alex: he's a McDonald's toy I guess

Me: All right, now Ratchet.

Alex: omg I have an idea for what he'll be doing

Me: I'll laugh if we both had the same idea

Me: we didn't

Alex: no, we didn't

Me: maybe we should stop

Alex: One more!! Let's do Rewind

...I kind of feel like I'm cheating because I drew him recently

Alex: He's showing himself a movie!

Me: I've never drawn him before, but I think I pretty much got it

*cackling* I can’t tell if I should be proud or ashamed that you’ve directed this question at me.

In all seriousness (or, as serious as I can try to be answering a question like this), though, the idea of the serum was to create the peak of human perfection. Oh boy howdy did it do that with what we can see.

Be honest, you’d still tap that. (Let’s be even more honest, this looks like the opening scene to a raunchy gay porno which definitely none of us have ever watched.)

(Side-note: those pants should be much tighter coming out than they were going in. I say this only for continuity purposes.)

From everything we’ve seen, Steve’s body is perfectly proportionate, though larger now than most people’s. My best guess is that the proportions would extend to all parts of his anatomy.

Now, I think the real, hard-hitting question here, dear anon, is if he was not proportionate then how much did he grow? There are 3 possibilities here, all of which have their own perks. 1) Tiny!Steve was small, so suddenly in addition to this new body he has a massive ding-dong-doodle to get used to. 2) Tiny!Steve was proportionate, which is probably the best option for him because then I guess it’s mostly lumped in with the rest of his body’s changes. 3) Tiny!Steve was…not so tiny. Which would I suppose be equally weird getting used to your new proportions, and I’m not sure how that would balance for a guy in that you’re suddenly smaller down there but you’re also an adonis. Is that a fair trade-off?