#i'm touch

Wanna be sisters?

My parents' life when they were growing up is like a completely different world from mine and my brothers'. I can see how much effort they put into making sure they didn't commit the same mistakes their parents did, especially with my dad.

Even the stories of how both of my parents grew up are like two different worlds in and of itself, since they came from two separate backgrounds. My mother grew up around her brothers much like me, and used to bully people into giving her their lunch or other things (cliché, I know). My dad also grew up with brothers, but was more into video games and toys and basketball.

Despite growing up with a lot of men, my mom was still boggled down with societal expectations of how a woman should be like. My grandmother would scrub her raw with calamansi to have "the right skin for a girl like yourself" and would be discouraged to roughhouse and just help out with housework. I heard a friend of my mom talk about this when they were discussing how they were growing up, her mom told her: "Sandok lang ang pwede mong hawakan," (when she asked of she could play outside).

Though it's still present, my parents give me the liberty to be who I am without *much* comments about how I should be a certain way because of my gender. I think sometimes they're surprised at the way I turned out, even with my beliefs and interests (I'm the 'weird' one in my family).

Also apparently, the way I am today isn't the only me that surprises them. According to my dad, when I was a measly two year old, they took me out to watch the first Ice Age at the cinemas. By the near end, the part where the animals return the baby back to his parents, I started crying. They were surprised by this, apparently (I'm not, I'm a sucker for those kinds of things). When they asked why I was crying my eyes out (isn't it obvious, parentals?), I started patting my chest and repeating "I'm touch," like a big baby (well, I was a baby. A small one though).

I don't know if it's because I'm the first kid or what, but maybe they were surprised because it wasn't expected of just me, but other toddlers my age as well? It's possible, but usually at this age two year olds tend to think about themselves more rather than others. I should have been in the "I am what I will" right? Who knows, maybe my psychosocial development is also weird in some way, not just me. I have no recollection of having trouble being potty trained at all, either.

I guess this is how the internal and external parts of my life mix and it affects my reactions and mannerisms. I've always been very receptive to other people's emotions more than my own, so maybe that's a factor as well.