between cups of tea
I’m rereading The Infernal Devices, and my will to write has been reborn. I’m super duper happy :) (unlike this fic lol jk... or not)
The kettle had only just begun to whistle when Magnus arrived at the cottage. Before he even reached the door, Tessa was already smiling, as if she had been expecting him for far longer than the sound of his footsteps would suggest. She opened the door without hesitation.
"I was wondering when you come"
"I like to keep my entrances dramatic"
"You were literally about to knock"
"Umm, oops...?"
That earned him the laugh he had come for. Tessa stepped aside, letting him into the warmth of the cottage. It smelled of old books, lavender and tea. Magnus always suspected that even if the house burned down, those scents would remain, stubborn as ghosts. Jem had hone into town to fetch a few things, leaving the two of them alone. It wasn't unusual, every few months Magnis would appear, drink too much tea despite claiming not to like it, and spend the afternoon talking about everything and nothing.
"so," Tessa said as she poured the tea, "how is married life ?"
Magnus leaned back in his chair, watching the steam curl upward before answering, "I keep waiting for it to become ordinary"
"And?" Tessa asked.
"It refuses. Not once has it felt ordinary"
Tessa's expression warmed. "That sounds like a good thing"
"It is," he admitted, though the word carried more weight than it should have. The smile softened on his face. "Alexander still kisses me goodbye every morning as though he's afraid I might disappear if he doesn't"
Tessa smiled into her cup.
"And Max has decided ducks are the pinnacle of creation"
"That seems scientifically accurate, I don’t think his uncle would like it though" she replied.
Magnus nodded gravely. "I’ve purchased seventeen duck related objects in support of this thesis; and in hopes to give Jace the scare of his life"
"I believe that’s called encouragement. And you’re evil as ever, Magnus !"
"I call it parenting"
They both laughed, the sound settling into the room like something gently returned to its place.
"I'm happy, Tessa"
She looked at him carefully. "I know"
"No," he said quietly. "I don't think you do. I've had centuries where I mistook distraction for happiness, pleasure for happiness or even survival for happiness" He looked down into the tea. "this is different"
Tessa reached across the table, squeezing his hand. "I'm glad"
Silence settled comfortably between them. Magnus's gaze wandered across the room until it landed on a framed photograph resting atop the piano. Will stood in the middle, grinning as though the world itself had just told him a joke. Jem stood beside him, calm and elegant as ever. Tessa sat between them, laughing at something beyond the frame.
Magnus found himself smiling. "I always loved this picture"
Tessa followed his gaze. "so did Will"
"Do you miss him?" The question was gentle, but Tessa didn't answer immediately. Instead, she looked at the photograph as though it had become a window.
"I miss him every hour."
Magnus remained still.
"Every minute," she continued softly. "Every day," She smiled, a smile that hurt simply to witness. "When Jem smiles a certain way...for just a heartbeat, I think it's Will. I still catch myself wanting to tell him things."
Magnus swallowed.
"I don't think that ever stops"
"No. It doesn't"
The room suddenly felt much quieter. Magnus stared into his untouched tea.
"It happens so quickly."
Tessa looked at him. "What does?"
"Time" He gave a small, humorless laugh. "Humans think centuries are unimaginably long"
"They are" Tessa tried to smooth the atmosphere.
"Not to us... time is strange," He exhaled, humorless. "I blink, and I meet someone. I blink again, and I’m afraid of losing them, I’ve outlived kingdoms, forgotten languages, watched entire eras dissolve into dust. But the thought of losing Alexander terrifies me more than any of it ever did"
And for the first time, Magnus felt something flicker beneath her understanding.
"You know," she said carefully, "I understand what it is to lose a husband. You’re lucky to have Alec" She added to remind him of the love he still has, in the hopes of getting a genuine smile from her friend.
Magnus gave a faint, almost bitter smile. "Yes. Will"
"Yes," she confirmed.
But then Magnus shook his head slightly. "That’s not what I mean. You lost Will, and I know that broke something in you that never fully healed"
Tessa did not deny it.
"But you still have Jem," he continued.
Her expression softened.
"He is still here, still loves you and grows old beside you in his own way, whether the years are kind or not. One you loved until the day he died, and the other still sits beside you after all these years." A faint smile. "I wouldn't call myself the lucky one"
Color rose to Tessa's cheeks but said nothing.
Magnus looked down at his hands. "So when I speak about losing everything," he admitted, voice lower now, "you don’t really have a place to meet me there"
The words were not accusations but just the truth, spoken carefully.
Tessa reached across the table and took his hand. "No," she said gently. "I don’t"
Magnus let out a quiet breath. "I don’t mean that cruelly," he added quickly.
"I know"
But something in him still tightened, because the truth of it was sharper than he expected: even grief, shared, was not identical. Tessa had loved and lost, but she had also been left with love that remained. Magnus had not, and that difference sat quietly between them now.Â
As if noticing the shift, Tessa’s voice softened. "The cruelest thing about immortality is not watching people die," she said. Magnus looked up at her. She held his gaze as she continued, "It’s the temptation to stop loving so deeply, to try to protect yourself from what you already know is coming, but it never works"
Outside, the wind brushed gently through the trees, filling the silence that followed. Tessa’s fingers tightened around his. "So we only ever get one real choice, fear the time we’re given… or love anyway"
Magnus did not answer. He didn’t need to because he already knew which one he had chosen.
The door opened then, cutting through the stillness, Jem stepped inside carrying a paper bag.
"I brought scones," he announced.
Magnus pointed immediately. "There he is. The immortal husband"
Jem blinked once. "…Hello?"
Tessa buried her face in her hand.
Magnus leaned back, entirely unrepentant. "I come for tea and return with existential suffering"
"I was only gone for twenty minutes," Jem corrected mildly as he set the bag down. "I was beginning to think I’d missed my appointment as emotional support husband"
"Again," Tessa added, still amused.
Jem sighed. "I go out for scones and suddenly I’m responsible for everyone’s feelings. I should start charging"
Magnus was already peering into the bag. "Blueberry !"
"For you," Jem said.
Magnus’s expression softened despite himself. "I tolerate you more than I admit"
"That is the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me"
"Don’t get used to it"
They fell into an easier rhythm after that with scones, laughter, and small remarks that carried no weight but warmth, and slowly, something loosened in Magnus’s chest. Jem’s presence did not erase the earlier truth, but it softened its edges, made it easier to breathe around it rather than against it. Still, as Magnus watched Tessa and Jem together, something quiet lingered in him, a thought he did not voice. Tessa had known what it meant to lose a husband and still had someone to come home to, still had love that continued in a different form.Â
Magnus, in contrast, only had one person waiting for him in every version of the future he could imagine, and that difference, however unfair, remained between them like a shadow that did not need naming to exist. When he finally left, the cottage felt warmer than when he had arrived.
As he stepped through the front door of the loft, Alec looked up from where he sat on the floor with Max, wooden blocks scattered around them.
"There you are."
Magnus didn't answer. Instead, he crossed the room in three quick strides, knelt beside his husband, and kissed him with enough tenderness that Alec blinked in surprise.
"What was that for?" Alec asked, smiling.
Magnus rested his forehead against Alec's.
"For absolutely no reason"
Max frowned. "You squishing Daddy"
Magnus laughed, a real laugh this time. "I am"
He pulled Alec a little closer. Outside, years continued their relentless march. Inside, for one quiet evening, time agreed to wait.
sorry...again :-)
