#i'm so ..

I've always known to be depressed. I've always been taught to be happy or to suck things up, and no, not pleasant things. 

I mean, how depressing is it that so many children out there are deprived of their childhoods and are walking around from a mistake of a one night stand. Or another depressing reason that happens so often that society has sensitized how fucked up it really is to turn their heads to violence and sexism. 

No, let's take poor little Quynh for example. Let's give her the courage to barely survive her mother's womb, 2 fucking months earlier than planned. To be kept in a fucking incubator for 2 months before she was ready to be thrust into this sickening world.

Let's give her a vivid imagination, with wonderful abilities to draw the nightmares she experiences every night the day her father began to beat her brother but love little ol Quynh because she was a girl. A girl that would soon be the woman that will take care of sick daddy and give him so many joys from being a woman.

Give her a poor environment to grow up with. Oh, and on top of that, let's make her gay. You couldn't have given me the other gay, but rather, the kind of gay that my parents will never understand and accept? Instead of giving me the good ol gay days and gay holidays, you had to thrust a label onto me that I was never taught about but had to learn through other kids having to call me 'lesbo' because i wanted to hold hands with a girl I found pretty. 

And last, to put the icing on the cake, let's make her suicidal. Oh, and not the kind that kills herself, oh of course not honey. Because that would be fucked up.

No, let's give her the suicidal that wants to believe the world is good. Let's make the world believe she's not suicidal enough, either. That'll show her. Good little Quynh, saving the world when she wants so badly for the world to save her.

Frankly, good ol Quynh is damn tired, and sick. Sick and tired of everything, really.