#i'm angsty

I expected Wormy Boi Steven to have the powers To TAKE OVER GEM’S BODIES, A ROAR SO POWERFUL IT CAN SHATTER GEMS AND A EYE BEAM THAT CAN CORRUPT GEMS AND KILL PEOPLE AND HAVE MOTHER FUCKING FIRE BREATH

Bellamy hurt her kid! Yes, he had good intentions, he was doing it for good reasons, and she consented. But it really doesn't matter. She's a child, she's Clarke's child. If I had to make the choice between my life or my child's safety, I would choose my child every time. Most parents would.

It doesn't matter if Bellamy didn't see the flame as that dangerous of a thing. Clarke did, clearly Madi's biological parents did, even Madi herself did until Bellamy told her it was the only way to save Clarke. That should be enough for him to understand that maybe there's something he's missing.

Madi's consent is also minimally important. It's not meaningless, but it still doesn't make it right. She's a child, she wouldn't even be able to consent to medical treatment on her own at her age. While I don't know how the grounders handled things like age of consent for different things, the ark seemed to run similar to our (US at least) laws. And that's all assuming that there was no coercion or manipulation, which I don't completely buy. I don't think Bellamy intentionally manipulated Madi, I think that was the end result. You tell a kid that the only way to save their parent, and only other person they have known for six years, is to do something dangerous that said parent doesn't want them to do, chances are they'll do it.

Then we come to the 'if Clarke had known how much Bellamy loves her' bit. Yeah, if Clarke had known, she probably would have tried getting him out to safety, as it was she already feels shitty enough about leaving him there. I don't think it would have changed her taking Madi and running, or her being pissed at Bellamy for doing what he did, but I think she would have made more of an effort to make sure Bellamy would have been safe too.

However, why is it never the opposite? Would they have been in that position if Bellamy had known how much Clarke loved him? I don't know. My gut instinct is to say yes, Bellamy still would have done exactly what he did. He did it because he couldn't lose Clarke again. He did it for him. I doubt anyone would want to hear that, hell it hurts a little just to say it, but he may have saved her, but he did it for himself, not for her. If he was doing it for her, he would have protected Madi, like she begged him to, like he promised to do.

I was there for you In your darkest times I was there for you In your darkest night

10. Love by numbers until you finally connect the dots and everything makes sense

9. Love by numbers until the only number you ever needed was the one in front of you

8. Love by numbers until you lose count as if love is just a game of hide and seek

7. Love by numbers until cups of coffee and spare change begin to add to less than they're worth

6. Love by numbers until you find that perfect ten after all the fives and sixes

5. Love by numbers until the dates that never fill your calendar feel like a fucking holiday

4. Love by numbers until the lovers become numbers; become unsolvable equations inside your inbox

3. Love by numbers until love is no longer a feeling but problems in a textbook

2. Love by numbers until the sleeping pills no longer work as tally marks