a pretty ass boy likes me now i'm not saying that this shit is gay and uncomfortable because of all the fucking bullying i went through in the past but................. being with someone on your every level is liberating. but also real scary. it's like you halfway realize you really are more deserving of superficial things than you thought, but the other half is like "write a list of everything that's wrong with you and give it to them before they get too attached." and i like hanging out with someone as attractive and smart and funny as me, it's so cool and energizing. i wanna go out and do stuff all the time. my last like 5 relationships were all with lazy goblin boys who didn't know how to take care of themselves and would treat me like i was shit so it's nice to just have someone who you actually think is hot call you hot too you know

honestly though I'm always the one who cares less in my relationships which is why it's so hard to leave, I always feel bad because I know they like me more than I like them

discovered: I should not write because I do not actually care about my writing.