i am a quiet person. and when it comes to fandom just because a person over there is crying and screaming over something doesn't mean they love or enjoy whatever it is more than i do.

No one knows anything about me

Tomorrow is Juma'ah. And it will be the day I turn down another guy's intention of finding a wife. If you think I enjoy doing this. You're dead wrong. I hate saying no. Cos I know how it feels like. May Allah give him someone better than me. And may Allah give me someone better than him. I'm just scared... of this whole thing. It's too sudden. I will give myself till next year to stabilise and set my mind straight. If the third guy comes when I'm prepared then he might be a blessing from Allah, in sha Allah. Tho I silently hope he would be the guy I have set my heart on, I don't think I have the courage to say (another) no to this guy, whoever he is. Last but not least, I have istikharah prayers for me to feel secure and guided. Alhamdulillah for that :')