Fun and games with my bank
warning: very boring
So, I was bitching recently about not having access to my money, because my bank insists on sending security code to my phone. "But only Canadian numbers, so fuck you, Cricketcat!". Reactivating my Skype account, because no way the 30 minutes of calls abroad on my phone plan will be enough. Calls to customer service - 5 times. Being passed to a manager - 3 times. Manager not able to establish my identity, because I did not remember apartment # where I lived in 2009 - 1 time. Also, when did I start to bank with them? I dunno, 20 years ago? Ugh, not precise enough, Cricket! π
The manager tells me that I should open a secure encrypted email account. Then they will send me an email asking more security questions, and after they are sure that I'm me, they will send codes to that email. GREAT!
Attempts to set up the secure account - 7, because the security code they send to my other email to confirm that I'm me does not work ("security code you entered is invalid"). Maybe they are generated by the lava lamps, or the sound of bells worn by the Swiss cows, who knows. The encrypted email company is in Switzerland, and they won't disclose your emails to your government! WOW! Another call, not very friendly manager Charmaine tells me that if the email doesn't work, I can fax documents to her. I don't know who has a fax, probably there's one in town? I try again. Seventh time and a lot of swearing is the charm, secure email account open!
The email from the bank does not arrive. I call. Friendly manager Dave says "oh I know what's the problem", email in. Wow again! They ask me to complete a registration form. My iPad keyboard freezes on the form. Switching to laptop, yay, it works! Create a password! It doesn't match! Try again! But in 30 minutes! Password created. Now I can actually OPEN the message they sent. They ask for a signed letter with answers to their questions, and a scan of my bank card, or a bill, or a travel ticket. I produce the letter, an old Avianca ticket, off to town with a memory stick to print and scan (my printer current status: dead), coming back, sending everything. What now? I don't know, they did not say. Presumably they will call (asked for the phone #) to ascertain that I'm me, and hopefully allow me acces to my money ππΌππΌππΌπ‘
I'm experiencing intense nostalgia for the days of barter. I'm giving thanks to the Universe for not having (yet) dementia or Alzheimer's.
My other Canadian bank asks one of 10 or so security questions, I answer, they let me do things on my account. π€·πΌββοΈ
Tomorrow I will be listening a mantra to Ganesha, Remover of Obstacles, a LOT.
