Apr 26, 2022
You can’t tell me she doesn’t bonk herself in the face at least once while using the pull caster.
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You can’t tell me she doesn’t bonk herself in the face at least once while using the pull caster.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Finally!
Ngl, I am super not interested in having romance options added to the game. Like, if that’s your thing, more power to you. I’m just not looking for that from HZD. I kind of like that there’s none explicitly in the game just because it leaves everything open to interpretation and you can run with whatever you like in your own imagination or fanfic or whatever. Aloy, as a character, is dealing with so much stuff, I don’t think I can see her warming up to anyone that fast. And, frankly, bitch is busy. Call her later when she’s not in the middle of stopping the apocalypse, bruh.
Why are you shipping clones/sisters?
i'm believe this is about my aloy/beta post...imma answer this in good faith bc i don't get anon asks often, outside of the occasional ask game. simple answer: it's a fictional story in a video game. these are not real people. longer answer: if in the future, someone made multiple clones of me to ensure the survival of the planet and those clones met and decided to kiss and maybe get each other off, i would support it so long as there was mutual consent.
fwiw, i don't think clones are the same as siblings...like, i suppose you could make the argument that shared genetics is similar to being twins. obvs aloy being a clone of elisabet raises for her the question of free will vs bio determinism, which is mirrored in beta (whose personhood is largely dismissed by the zeniths, who use her as a sort of living key to attaining their goals). and the game clearly leans the "these are different people with diverging personalities who ultimately make their own choices" route. but again! this is all fiction! tbh i don't really care if they're genetic sisters or "merely" clones of a dead woman because ultimately they are Not Real and i think it'd be cute for them to teach each other about love as a form of inner-child healing and self-care.
(I finished that Aloy study)
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every male npc: did you just tame that strider
aloy:
wouldnt it be cute and hilarious if in the second game, we had a segment where we went back to more zero dawn facilities.. and while exploring the ruins, aloy finds more documented logs from elisabet and in one log after running through a predicament gaia told her about, elisabet just goes "fuck'"
and then in a later cutscene after maybe catching up to the truth of whats been happening via corruption, aloy quickly picks up and also says "fuck" and she hisses it to herself every now and then bc damn is it a word that strangely feels good to say when stressedt
There’s a Ted Faro lose in Project Zero Dawn
I think eventually everything’s going to be okay, but I have no idea what’s going to happen next. And neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there’s a Ted Faro loose in Project Zero Dawn. It’s never happened before. No one knows what Ted Faro is going to do next, least of all Ted Faro. He’s never been in Project Zero Dawn Before. He’s as confused as you are. There’s no experts. They try to find experts on the news. They’re like “we’re joined now by a man who once saw Elizabet Sobeck at FAS. Get out of here with that shit we’ve all seen Elizabet Sobeck at FAS. This is Ted Faro loose in Project Zero Dawn. When Ted Faro is loose in Project Zero Dawn you gotta stay updated. So all day long you walk around like “what did Ted do, what did Ted do?” The updates aren’t always bad, sometimes there just odd. Your like “Ted used the elevator? I didn’t know he knew how to do that”. The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from Ted at all. Your down in FAS like “Hey has anyone heard from Ted?” Those are those quiet days when people say “It looks like Ted has finally calmed down”. And then 10 seconds later Ted Faro is like “I’m gonna release a swarm of killer robots that feed on biomass I got nice robots I’m Ted Faro”. And it’s like “that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Faro”. And then, then you go to Zero Dawn Project Facility with people and there like “there shouldn’t be Ted Faro in Project Zero Dawn” and it’s like “we’re well past that”. And then there are people who are like “if there’s gonna be a Ted Faro loose in Project Zero Dawn then I’m going to submit porn to APOLLO” and it’s like those don’t match up at all. And then for a second it seemed like we would survive Ted, but then 5000 miles away a swarm of killer robots was like “I have a nuclear bomb, and I’m going to blow up project Zero Dawn ” and then Ted Faro was like “if you even fucking look at Project Zero Dawn I will stomp you to death with my sub functions. I dare you to do it I want you to do it so I can stomp you to death with my sub functions. I’m so fucking crazy”. “You think you’re fucking crazy, I’m a swarm of killer robots. I can fucking self-replicate. I’m fucking crazy”. And all of us are like, “okay”. Like poor Andy Cohen at those goddamn reunions. “Okay”. And then, for a second we were like “Maybe the Alphas will stop Ted”. And then Ted was like “I have killed the Alphas”. He can do that? That shouldn’t be aloud no matter who Ted is.