#hyungim

hyungwon wakes up at twelve thirty that saturday when his mother bangs on his door for the third time and yells at him that they're leaving. hyungwon fumbles for his phone to check the time, then groans, but rolls over to his back and tries to keep his eyes open. the lingering edges of sleep tug at him, soft and tempting. he waits for the sound of the front door being closed and then, faintly, car doors chucking shut and an engine starting from the driveway, before pulling himself up.

the room is soft and murky with the blinds shut, and he navigates around it by heart, eyes half closed. he pulls the string to check, and the bright sunlight immediately stings in his eyes. he lets the blinds fall back down.

the second floor hallway is empty, and his brother's door is closed. hyungwon slips into the bathroom and drops his clothes in the hamper, stopping to piss before stepping into the shower cabin. the water takes a minute to get warm, as fucking always. he rubs his face with the cold water, starting to lose feeling in his toes. at least it wakes him up. after heading back up to the attic to pull on a pair of sweats and a new t-shirt he goes downstairs to find something to eat.

the house is quiet, in a restful way rather than deserted. hyungwon sits on the counter while the microwave is humming beside him and enjoys the solitude. he could have left gwangju, applied for a college somewhere else. maybe he should have. sometimes the presence of everything homely that you can't get away from gnaws at him until he wants to scream. but it's easy, it's so easy to stay, to yield to everything holding you back, tying you down.

it's an hour later and hyungwon is reclined against his pillows in the cushiony mess of clothes and sheets on his bed, playing video games when the phone rings. he digs it out from underneath his blanket with his left hand and deftly sweeps the call in with his thumb without his eyes really leaving the tv screen.

"hello?"

"hey, hyung," comes changkyun's voice.

hyungwon's right hand stills on the controller. "hey." he reaches his thumb up and presses pause.

"what's up?" changkyun asks.

"uh. not much."

"are you at home?"

hyungwon puts the controller down beside him and leans back, shifting the phone to his right hand. "yeah."  

"you have time?" changkyun's tone is light, but he speaks slowly, pausing a moment before every sentence.

"yeah, why?"

"wanna head out for a bit?"

hyungwon bites his lip. "okay," he says. "where are you?"

there is a quiet snort on the other end of the line. changkyun doesn't reply right away, and there is a shuffling noise, like of shoe soles against ground. "outside your house."

hyungwon gets up and crawls to the end of his bed, pulling the string of the blinds with a jerk. lo and behold, there's he standing, on the sidewalk outside the driveway, looking up towards hyungwon's small window on the third floor, phone pressed against his ear. hyungwon snorts too, grinning. below, a grin spreads on changkyun's face as well. hyungwon isn't sure if he can see him or if he just heard the smile.

hyungwon licks his lips. "okay," he says. "i'll be down in a minute."

he changes into jeans and pulls on his black adidas zip-up, then jogs down the stairs and steps into his sneakers.

changkyun is still standing in the same spot, but with both hands in his pockets now. hyungwon's steps slow, coming to stand in front of him.

"hey," he says.

changkyun gives him a grin. "hey."

for a while i was listening to interstellar a lot (like, a lot) and for some reason i started thinking about what if this was a group? these three? what would that be like?

i'm imagining them getting thrown together into some sort of project group, not knowing each other from before, train together for a short while and then release interstellar and it's a massive hit

this idea has two versions: first there's the pg version where they're... friends and slowly get to know each other and grow close and it's about how their relationship and dynamic develops and they grow as artists together and idol life etc idk

then there's the rated version which is basically 100% tropey situational homosexuality feat shameless jookyun bec i'm jookyun trash

it starts the same way, three strangers are thrown together and start training together (and maybe it was supposed to be jooheon and gun + a vocalist at first? but i.m got the spot instead and cue initial ~bitterness~) (also rapper line being a bit susp at hyungwon at first, wondering who this tall ~visual~ "former model" douchebag is and why he got the spot when there's clearly stronger vocalists out there) but they get to debut so hey w/e

however as they get to know each other and the pressures of idol life start kicking in they all start fooling around with each other A LOT, mainly one on one but maybe also all three together sometimes

it's all fun and games and a good way to relax and blow off some steam until jooheon and changkyun go and develop fucking feelings for each other, and hyungwon prob realizes it before they do (or before they can admit it to themselves) so he's just sitting on first row watching it all unfold

and when there's ~feelings~ involved jookyun can't/won't hook up anymore because it suddenly MEANS something and it's too much to deal with, having to face falling in love with another dude and your bandmate no less, and it's terrifying how much they want each other and how much it feels when they touch each other and how different it is from before

hence hyungwon finding himself with both of them coming to HIM instead to take out all the stress of life/work + unresolved feelings for each other, and MULTIPLE TIMES when making out in bed or exchanging handjobs in the shower it's painfully obvious that jooheon is in fact thinking about changkyun/vice versa instead of hyungwon who is the one jerking him off

and hyungwon is mostly okay with it, rolls his eyes and does his hyung duty and takes care of them and their issues but 1. it's only human to feel a bit left out, and 2. they're starting to fucking wear him out, like there are limits to his libido ok and 3. can't the two of them just fucking TALK ABOUT IT instead of skirting around each other like googly-eyed lovesick puppies, spending late nights in the studio writing raps together and don't they think hyungwon sees the way they touch each other, the soft and shy and held-back touches, stuff that doesn't have to mean anything, gentle back-hugs in front of the fans, hands resting against each other between them in the car, the way they lean their heads on each other's shoulders when they're tired

but jookyun are stupid and scared and also classic mutual confusion in their heads: "why does he only want hyungwon these days, why does he never come to me, he must like hyungwon better, he must hate me, what if he knows how i fEEL ABOUT HIM and thinks it's gross/weird" even tho the rejection/avoidance is mutual

eventually hyungwon gently steers them into the realization/having some kind of conversation and when they finally figure it out he heaves a big sigh of relief and rolls his eyes again - but ofc if they get together who is HE gonna fool around with, and there's like a small sting of jealousy inside of him

(alternatively jookyun realize that they also have feelings for hyungwon and want him to be with them and they become an actual triad)

but basically the three of them are so close, mentally and physically and living together and never having any time for themselves, that it's all basically a weird poly relationship where hyungwon is a part/component of jookyun's romantic relationship whether he likes it or not, and what with sexual tension and release flowing freely all over the place and hyungwon having to help the two of them work it out emotionally/verbally and personally being torn between not wanting to be a part of their messy shit but also not wanting to be left out/the third wheel because there's just the three of them and he has nobody else to turn to

it's a mess

PLUS there's the issue of the fact that interstellar promos are over and they don't know if they're gonna continue and work towards a comeback or gonna be disbanded and have to split up and the thought of the latter option is sort of terrifying for all three

(also BONUS THOUGHT: what if management decides to throw in another member and suddenly there's a new guy (wonho?) (who turns out to be the straightest of straights) standing on their doorstep and hyungjookyun are like "...hi" and have no idea if or how to begin to explain/initiate this dude into their fucked up tight-knit poly family relationship)

basically this fic would be massive amounts of porn and complicated emotions and i'm not writing it

(I HAVE A LOT OF JOOKYUN FEELINGS and i like torturing hyungwon apparently)