The AI hype bubble is the new crypto hype bubble
Back in 2017 Long Island Ice Teaâââknown for its undistinguished, barely drinkable sugar-waterâââchanged its name to âLong Blockchain Corp.â Its shares surged to a peak of 400% over their pre-announcement price. The company announced no specific integrations with any kind of blockchain, nor has it made any such integrations since.
If youâd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, hereâs a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/09/autocomplete-worshippers/#the-real-ai-was-the-corporations-that-we-fought-along-the-way
LBCC was subsequently delisted from NASDAQ after settling with the SEC over fraudulent investor statements. Today, the company trades over the counter and its market cap is $36m, down from $138m.
https://cointelegraph.com/news/textbook-case-of-crypto-hype-how-iced-tea-company-went-blockchain-and-failed-despite-a-289-percent-stock-rise
The most remarkable thing about this incredibly stupid story is that LBCC wasnât the peak of the blockchain bubbleââârather, it was the start of blockchainâs final pump-and-dump. By the standards of 2022âs blockchain grifters, LBCC was small potatoes, a mere $138m sugar-water grift.
They didnât have any NFTs, no wash trades, no ICO. They didnât have a Superbowl ad. They didnât steal billions from mom-and-pop investors while proclaiming themselves to be âEffective Altruists.â They didnât channel hundreds of millions to election campaigns through straw donations and other forms of campaing finance frauds. They didnât even open a crypto-themed hamburger restaurant where you couldnât buy hamburgers with crypto:
https://robbreport.com/food-drink/dining/bored-hungry-restaurant-no-cryptocurrency-1234694556/
They were amateurs. Their attempt to âmake fetch happenâ only succeeded for a brief instant. By contrast, the superpredators of the crypto bubble were able to make fetch happen over an improbably long timescale, deploying the most powerful reality distortion fields since Pets.com.
Anything that canât go on forever will eventually stop. Weâre told that trillions of dollarsâ worth of crypto has been wiped out over the past year, but these losses are nowhere to be seen in the real economyâââbecause the âwealthâ that was wiped out by the crypto bubbleâs bursting never existed in the first place.
Like any Ponzi scheme, crypto was a way to separate normies from their savings through the pretense that they were âinvestingâ in a vast enterpriseâââbut the only real money (âfiatâ in cryptospeak) in the system was the hardscrabble retirement savings of working people, which the bubbleâs energetic inflaters swapped for illiquid, worthless shitcoins.
Weâve stopped believing in the illusory billions. Sam Bankman-Fried is under house arrest. But the people who gave him moneyâââand the nimbler Ponzi artists who evaded arrestâââare looking for new scams to separate the marks from their money.
Take Morganstanley, who spent 2021 and 2022 hyping cryptocurrency as a massive growth opportunity:
https://cointelegraph.com/news/morgan-stanley-launches-cryptocurrency-research-team
Today, Morganstanley wants you to know that AI is a $6 trillion opportunity.
Theyâre not alone. The CEOs of Endeavor, Buzzfeed, Microsoft, Spotify, Youtube, Snap, Sports Illustrated, and CAA are all out there, pumping up the AI bubble with every hour that god sends, declaring that the future is AI.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/business-news/wall-street-ai-stock-price-1235343279/
Google and Bing are locked in an arms-race to see whose search engine can attain the speediest, most profound enshittification via chatbot, replacing links to web-pages with florid paragraphs composed by fully automated, supremely confident liars:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/16/tweedledumber/#easily-spooked
Blockchain was a solution in search of a problem. So is AI. Yes, Buzzfeed will be able to reduce its wage-bill by automating its personality quiz vertical, and Spotifyâs âAI DJâ will produce slightly less terrible playlists (at least, to the extent that Spotify doesnât put its thumb on the scales by inserting tracks into the playlists whose only fitness factor is that someone paid to boost them).
But even if you add all of this up, double it, square it, and add a billion dollar confidence interval, it still doesnât add up to what Bank Of America analysts called âa defining momentâââlike the internet in the â90s.â For one thing, the most exciting part of the âinternet in the â90sâ was that it had incredibly low barriers to entry and wasnât dominated by large companiesâââindeed, it had them running scared.
The AI bubble, by contrast, is being inflated by massive incumbents, whose excitement boils down to âThis will let the biggest companies get much, much bigger and the rest of you can go fuck yourselves.â Some revolution.
AI has all the hallmarks of a classic pump-and-dump, starting with terminology. AI isnât âartificialâ and itâs not âintelligent.â âMachine learningâ doesnât learn. On this weekâs Trashfuture podcast, they made an excellent (and profane and hilarious) case that ChatGPT is best understood as a sophisticated form of autocompleteââânot our new robot overlord.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4NHKMZZNKi0w9mOhPYIL4T
We all know that autocomplete is a decidedly mixed blessing. Like all statistical inference tools, autocomplete is profoundly conservativeâââit wants you to do the same thing tomorrow as you did yesterday (thatâs why âsophisticatedâ ad retargeting ads show you ads for shoes in response to your search for shoes). If the word you type after âheyâ is usually âhonâ then the next time you type âhey,â autocomplete will be ready to fill in your typical following wordâââeven if this time you want to type âhey stop texting me you freakâ:
https://blog.lareviewofbooks.org/provocations/neophobic-conservative-ai-overlords-want-everything-stay/
And when autocomplete encounters a new inputâââwhen you try to type something youâve never typed beforeâââit tries to get you to finish your sentence with the statistically median thing that everyone would type next, on average. Usually that produces something utterly bland, but sometimes the results can be hilarious. Back in 2018, I started to text our babysitter with âhey are you free to sitâ only to have Android finish the sentence with âon my faceâ (not something Iâd ever typed!):
https://mashable.com/article/android-predictive-text-sit-on-my-face
Modern autocomplete can produce long passages of text in response to prompts, but it is every bit as unreliable as 2018 Android SMS autocomplete, as Alexander Hanff discovered when ChatGPT informed him that he was dead, even generating a plausible URL for a link to a nonexistent obit in The Guardian:
https://www.theregister.com/2023/03/02/chatgpt_considered_harmful/
Of course, the carnival barkers of the AI pump-and-dump insist that this is all a feature, not a bug. If autocomplete says stupid, wrong things with total confidence, thatâs because âAIâ is becoming more human, because humans also say stupid, wrong things with total confidence.
Exhibit A is the billionaire AI grifter Sam Altman, CEO if OpenAIâââa company whose products are not open, nor are they artificial, nor are they intelligent. Altman celebrated the release of ChatGPT by tweeting âi am a stochastic parrot, and so r u.â
https://twitter.com/sama/status/1599471830255177728
This was a dig at the âstochastic parrotsâ paper, a comprehensive, measured roundup of criticisms of AI that led Google to fire Timnit Gebru, a respected AI researcher, for having the audacity to point out the Emperorâs New Clothes:
https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/12/04/1013294/google-ai-ethics-research-paper-forced-out-timnit-gebru/
Gebruâs co-author on the Parrots paper was Emily M Bender, a computational linguistics specialist at UW, who is one of the best-informed and most damning critics of AI hype. You can get a good sense of her position from Elizabeth Weilâs New York Magazine profile:
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/ai-artificial-intelligence-chatbots-emily-m-bender.html
Bender has made many important scholarly contributions to her field, but she is also famous for her rules of thumb, which caution her fellow scientists not to get high on their own supply:
Please do not conflate word form and meaning
Mind your own credulity
As Bender says, weâve made âmachines that can mindlessly generate text, but we havenât learned how to stop imagining the mind behind it.â One potential tonic against this fallacy is to follow an Italian MPâs suggestion and replace âAIâ with âSALAMIâ (âSystematic Approaches to Learning Algorithms and Machine Inferencesâ). Itâs a lot easier to keep a clear head when someone asks you, âIs this SALAMI intelligent? Can this SALAMI write a novel? Does this SALAMI deserve human rights?â
Benderâs most famous contribution is the âstochastic parrot,â a construct that âjust probabilistically spits out words.â AI bros like Altman love the stochastic parrot, and are hellbent on reducing human beings to stochastic parrots, which will allow them to declare that their chatbots have feature-parity with human beings.
At the same time, Altman and Co are strangely afraid of their creations. Itâs possible that this is just a shuck: âI have made something so powerful that it could destroy humanity! Luckily, I am a wise steward of this thing, so itâs fine. But boy, it sure is powerful!â
Theyâve been playing this game for a long time. People like Elon Musk (an investor in OpenAI, who is hoping to convince the EU Commission and FTC that he can fire all of Twitterâs human moderators and replace them with chatbots without violating EU law or the FTCâs consent decree) keep warning us that AI will destroy us unless we tame it.
Thereâs a lot of credulous repetition of these claims, and not just by AIâs boosters. AI critics are also prone to engaging in what Lee Vinsel calls criti-hype: criticizing something by repeating its boostersâ claims without interrogating them to see if theyâre true:
https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5
There are better ways to respond to Elon Musk warning us that AIs will emulsify the planet and use human beings for food than to shout, âLook at how irresponsible this wizard is being! He made a Frankensteinâs Monster that will kill us all!â Like, we could point out that of all the things Elon Musk is profoundly wrong about, he is most wrong about the philosophical meaning of Wachowksi movies:
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/may/18/lilly-wachowski-ivana-trump-elon-musk-twitter-red-pill-the-matrix-tweets
But even if we take the bros at their word when they proclaim themselves to be terrified of âexistential riskâ from AI, we can find better explanations by seeking out other phenomena that might be triggering their dread. As Charlie Stross points out, corporations are Slow AIs, autonomous artificial lifeforms that consistently do the wrong thing even when the people who nominally run them try to steer them in better directions:
https://media.ccc.de/v/34c3-9270-dude_you_broke_the_future
Imagine the existential horror of a ultra-rich manbaby who nominally leads a company, but canât get it to follow: âeveryone thinks Iâm in charge, but Iâm actually being driven by the Slow AI, serving as its sock puppet on some days, its golem on others.â
Ted Chiang nailed this back in 2017 (the same year of the Long Island Blockchain Company):
Thereâs a saying, popularized by Fredric Jameson, that itâs easier to imagine the end of the world than to imagine the end of capitalism. Itâs no surprise that Silicon Valley capitalists donât want to think about capitalism ending. Whatâs unexpected is that the way they envision the world ending is through a form of unchecked capitalism, disguised as a superintelligent AI. They have unconsciously created a devil in their own image, a boogeyman whose excesses are precisely their own.
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tedchiang/the-real-danger-to-civilization-isnt-ai-its-runaway
Chiang is still writing some of the best critical work on âAI.â His February article in the New Yorker, âChatGPT Is a Blurry JPEG of the Web,â was an instant classic:
[AI] hallucinations are compression artifacts, butâââlike the incorrect labels generated by the Xerox photocopierâââthey are plausible enough that identifying them requires comparing them against the originals, which in this case means either the Web or our own knowledge of the world.
https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/chatgpt-is-a-blurry-jpeg-of-the-web
âAIâ is practically purpose-built for inflating another hype-bubble, excelling as it does at producing party-tricksâââplausible essays, weird images, voice impersonations. But as Princetonâs Matthew Salganik writes, thereâs a world of difference between âcoolâ and âtoolâ:
https://freedom-to-tinker.com/2023/03/08/can-chatgpt-and-its-successors-go-from-cool-to-tool/
Nature can claim âconversational AI is a game-changer for scienceâ but âthere is a huge gap between writing funny instructions for removing food from home electronics and doing scientific research.â Salganik tried to get ChatGPT to help him with the most banal of scholarly tasksâââaiding him in peer reviewing a colleagueâs paper. The result? âChatGPT didnât help me do peer review at all; not one little bit.â
The criti-hype isnât limited to ChatGPT, of courseâââthereâs plenty of (justifiable) concern about image and voice generators and their impact on creative labor markets, but that concern is often expressed in ways that amplify the self-serving claims of the companies hoping to inflate the hype machine.
One of the best critical responses to the question of image- and voice-generators comes from Kirby Ferguson, whose final Everything Is a Remix video is a superb, visually stunning, brilliantly argued critique of these systems:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rswxcDyotXA
One area where Ferguson shines is in thinking through the copyright questionâââis there any right to decide who can study the art you make? Except in some edge cases, these systems donât store copies of the images they analyze, nor do they reproduce them:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/09/ai-monkeys-paw/#bullied-schoolkids
For creators, the important material question raised by these systems is economic, not creative: will our bosses use them to erode our wages? That is a very important question, and as far as our bosses are concerned, the answer is a resounding yes.
Markets value automation primarily because automation allows capitalists to pay workers less. The textile factory owners who purchased automatic looms werenât interested in giving their workers raises and shorting working days. â They wanted to fire their skilled workers and replace them with small children kidnapped out of orphanages and indentured for a decade, starved and beaten and forced to work, even after they were mangled by the machines. Fun fact: Oliver Twist was based on the bestselling memoir of Robert Blincoe, a child who survived his decade of forced labor:
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/59127/59127-h/59127-h.htm
Today, voice actors sitting down to record for games companies are forced to begin each session with âMy name is ______ and I hereby grant irrevocable permission to train an AI with my voice and use it any way you see fit.â
https://www.vice.com/en/article/5d37za/voice-actors-sign-away-rights-to-artificial-intelligence
Letâs be clear here: there isâââat presentâââno firmly established copyright over voiceprints. The ârightâ that voice actors are signing away as a non-negotiable condition of doing their jobs for giant, powerful monopolists doesnât even exist. When a corporation makes a worker surrender this right, they are betting that this right will be created later in the name of âartistsâ rightsââââand that they will then be able to harvest this right and use it to fire the artists who fought so hard for it.
There are other approaches to this. We could support the US Copyright Officeâs position that machine-generated works are not works of human creative authorship and are thus not eligible for copyrightâââso if corporations wanted to control their products, theyâd have to hire humans to make them:
https://www.theverge.com/2022/2/21/22944335/us-copyright-office-reject-ai-generated-art-recent-entrance-to-paradise
Or we could create collective rights that belong to all artists and canât be signed away to a corporation. Thatâs how the right to record other musiciansâ songs workâââand itâs why Taylor Swift was able to re-record the masters that were sold out from under her by evil private-equity bros::
https://doctorow.medium.com/united-we-stand-61e16ec707e2
Whatever we do as creative workers and as humans entitled to a decent life, we canât afford drink the Blockchain Iced Tea. That means that we have to be technically competent, to understand how the stochastic parrot works, and to make sure our criticism doesnât just repeat the marketing copy of the latest pump-and-dump.
Today (Mar 9), you can catch me in person in Austin at the UT School of Design and Creative Technologies, and remotely at U Manitobaâs Ethics of Emerging Tech Lecture.
Tomorrow (Mar 10), Rebecca Giblin and I kick off the SXSW reading series.
Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
[Image ID: A graph depicting the Gartner hype cycle. A pair of HAL 9000's glowing red eyes are chasing each other down the slope from the Peak of Inflated Expectations to join another one that is at rest in the Trough of Disillusionment. It, in turn, sits atop a vast cairn of HAL 9000 eyes that are piled in a rough pyramid that extends below the graph to a distance of several times its height.]



















