#hxartlessmachine

i never fully realize how much my ex fucked me up until certain situations happen,,, he'd ignore me & leave me on read whenever he'd be out cheating (which i found out after we stopped talking) and whenever I'd ask why he left me on read or why he ignored, he'd get mad at me. whenever I'd say it bothered me when he left me on read, hed just get mad at me, even though he always knew it bothers me being left on read. whenever i asked him to just simply apologize for leaving me on read and explain why he did it, even though I asked if he could just not leave me on read, he'd get mad at me. which is why being left on read gives me so much anxiety and pushes me away from people. whenever I'd express anything bothered me, he'd get mad at me. whenever i tried to ask if there was someone else, he'd tell me it was none of my business. whenever i was upset/pissed at something that happened in my day and wanted to vent to him, he'd turn it around and start talking about all his problems and I'd end up having to cheer him up. whenever we got into arguments, it'd end in him making things sexual and if i didn't want it, he'd get mad. whenever i had to BEG for him to give reassurance cuz he wouldn't give me it, he'd get mad at me. whenever I'd overthink things, he'd get mad at me when i just wanted him to calm my thoughts & worries. he'd always make me feel like i wasn't enough and what i wanted was too much to want.

do you even want me