#husbandmaterial

LIPS TOGETHER BLOW

https://www.instagram.com/lips.together.blow/

PETROS

https://www.instagram.com/petros_sp/

"You say good morning when it's midnight [...] I wake up to your sunset, and it's driving me mad, I miss you so bad." - simple plan feat. Natasha Bedingfield

I haven't posted anything in a while now. Maybe mostly because this blog is basically for myself.

I recently entered in a LDR with my Boyfriend who lives in the US. Between us are 4000 miles.

I met him on IG, it was during lock down when he followed me. We basically came into contact because of quarantine. I spend my days on IG because what else where you supposed to do with your free time? We both agreed that this probably wouldn't have taken place like this at any other given time.

I initiated the conversation not knowing what was coming of it...

I mean if you're a gay person on IG you know you'll have conversations that will not lead anywhere but requests for trade, unsolicited pictures from down under (unfortunately I don't mean the country), scammers, who are out for your money and in best case a nice chat that won't last for very long.

i didn't think we would connect that long and definitely not for that long and so I just wrote, disillusioned, a pretty face a message that said "may I say you're very attractive?"

And I got a reply! So obviously we were attracted to each other since we showed mutual interest. A reply followed by a reply. We came into a flow pretty quickly and I found myself in A full fledged conversation with that handsome and very charming stranger that had a smile bright as the sun.

We started texting everyday. Exchanged messages and pictures and shared each other's life with the other. I would've never foreseen what this contact grew into. After less than a week we started video chatting on a regular basis and we enjoyed talking to each other, about, life, music, books, architecture, poetry and all those corny things normally being corny bits in a rom - com movie conversation. We came up with cute little nicknames for each other, we had insider jokes no one besides us could understand. This person grew on me. And it was beyond just physical attraction. This person meant something to me.

How was it possible that I started to fall in love with someone on the internet?

The rational debater (ENTP-A) in me started to fight this since it was unreasonable and not very realistic. He didn't reciprocate my feelings anyway . At least I thought (more convinced actually.. A little bit of self reflection here.. . I can be too certain about things) he didn't. Where I would send red hearts he answered with blue ones. I felt like I was kept an arms length away. I blamed myself for being that irrational with my feelings. And he knew we were an ocean apart. I for sure knew this.

Then my uncle died.

I got crushed. I remember that feeling when I received the call from my grandmother. How my legs got shaky when I heard the news. How I asked the same question again and again just reassure that the information I got was correct. I didn't know who to talk to or how to comprehend what I just learned. My sister was a mess and so were my parents. My first instinct was to call him. To hear his voice. So I did and talked to him forever. I cried, complained, shouted, sobbed and he treated me with so much dignity and actually cared. He didn't try to diminish my feelings. He accepted my anger and my despair. He was just there. Despite how we met, despite that we just knew each other for three weeks at this point.. He was there and responded with all the kindness in the world.

This was the first moment I loved him...

And he stayed. Even when I felt I was drowning he was there. He kept my head above water.

He navigated me through these dark waters. I couldn't fight it anymore. I was irrevocably in love with him. Two weeks after that he asked me if I would consider dating him. I was in shock. I never thought of us dating and being in a relationship as an option.

I used to make fun of these people who dated like that. Those weren't real lovers. How could they be? They just were desperate for someone's attention. Old men dating young asian girls or boys. This couldn't be real thing? Right? So there I was falling down very hard from my high horse, looking at this text while being the biggest fucking hypocrite walking the face of the world... And I even added to that.

I said yes...

The whole thing was so absurd but yet it felt so right. We chat everyday and share a life together yet we aren't even on the same continent. He makes me feel loved, feel beautiful, he sustains me, supports me, makes me genuinely laugh.

He's a great listener and the greatest partner I ever had. Our relationship is in an interims phase, I guess, as long as we figure out where it shall take us. He's "the one" because I chose him to be. I don't know how this will play out but I know he's Worth the effort! Who's he?