#hungry paper

and we’re back to the main plot! This ep was good & visually expressive.

-Isuzu ( Akito’s perfect abused toy):

Isuzu embodies everything Akito hates; She’s the exact image of Akito’s mom; the dark long hair, sexy body, womanly charms, the steaming explicit love relationship with Haru) but unlike akito’s mom who’s hard to control & torture, Isuzu is a helpless zodiac who can’t fight back against the zodiac Ruler! Akito can hurt Isuzu verbally & physically while projecting it all on Ren. Through hurting Isuzu, Akito can fantasize on getting back on her mother for neglecting, hating her & stealing a zodiac (sleeping with Shigure ).

In Akito’s delusional mind: ISUZU IS REN. Therefore,

cutting Isuzu’s floating seductive hair (means cutting her mom’s control over her. deforming her mom’s image & “uglifying” it. “Ren” can no longer be prettier than “me”.

Hurting Isuzu’s body (means deforming the seductive womanly charms that Ren used with Shigure). Shigure won’t find “Ren” sexy now with her “short hair & scarred body”, he’ll stay faithful to “me”. No ugly creature will “steal” him or anyone of “them” anymore.

locking Isuzu in the cat’s room (means that in Akito’s mind, REN is the zodiacs monster! locking her away meaning gaining control over her status. “The horrible monster is locked away, the majestic ruler saves the poor zodiacs”.

Isuzu is locked while everybody “suspects” sth bad has happened to her & are “advised” against investigating (means the policy of obeying the family heads, turning their back on the abused & enabling abuse is still going on).

Even when Isuzu was saved, it took some time before anybody dared to take action. Even while taking action to save Isuzu, it is only for saving this current victim, the abuser still stands, still free to try again, still able to punish others.

-Kureno taking action or protecting an abuser?

There’s no doubt that kureno is kind & wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to Isuzu or anybody for that matter. However, Kureno’s brand of kindness has always been toxic & immensely harmful to him & others. While he indeed helped free Isuzu, he continued to shield Akito, holding her cheek kindly, softly lecturing “bad Akito, please no hurt/torture/kill poor zodiac girl”.  He waits for Akito to “realize” her wrongful deeds & “ heals” herself & “decides” to stop the abuse. Abusers don’t just decide to stop one day after they realize oops, I’m bad. Abusers must be stopped at once. Especially the ones with mental & emotional issues. I know it is hard for Kureno to stop protecting Akito, as you could argue that he’s “conditioned to obey” from young age. However, it doesn’t matter if his his intentions are good, he’ll either be Akito’s silent accomplice or get her fury.

-Isuzu’s quest to save kind haru:

Isuzu has always looked at her self as rotten/bad, while haru is good. She’s dirty & he’s clean. The theme of “ don’t take advantage of kind ppl as they’re too stupid to save themselves” has always tormented Isuzu. That’s why she was cold & mean to tohru, to save her from her foolish kindness. That’s why she was harsh to yuki, she believed haru’s kindness towards helpless yuki is harmful to haru. Above all, she wants to save kind haru from her “sinful” self! She wants kind ppl to be happy & away from rotten/ bad ppl like her! (does she reminds you of someone? kyo!). Alas, this self-condemning mentality led her to a locked room. Hurt, sad, in pain, tears, darkness, all alone & on the verge of death. That’s why when haru showed up, he said” is your journey over? come home to me” The quest is over. Rest & accept that you’re not a burden.

-Guilt is the immense monster tearing you from the inside:

Hiro is a huge parallel to kyo this ep with kisa & isuzu paralleling tohru, Kyoko & kyo’s mom. He felt immense guilt towards kisa for thinking that he’d caused her physical & emotional suffering by confessing to Akito. Kisa’s journey for recovery from her physical & emotional scars was especially hard on hiro. Even when she smiled, he’d think if only I hadn’t caused her pain. He feels the same towards Isuzu. This is the exact situation where kyo’s at except it is amplified ten times cause of DEATH. tohru’s journey towards recovering from her mom’s sudden death is not easy despite all the smiles. Tohru talks to a framed picture as her mother for God’s sake!!!! this sad! so sad! It hurts to see her craving her mother’s presence & knowing that he is involved somehow. Kyo’s guilt amplifies each time tohru fake smiles. This guilt that kyo built inside him was drilled by a past experience of his moms death & the sohma’s, his dad verbal accusations. While kisa & hiro found escape from guilt’s vicious suffocating grap by confessing their fears, the fact that both kisa & hiro are younger somewhat less traumatized helped. The ppl hiro fears he hurt are saved, alive & will be happy. Kisa is surrounded by her family. Kyo can’t apologize to angry kyoko or his miserable mom. they’re dead. Tohru is an orphan who lives “ temporarily” with the sohma’s. The time where she MUST leave & pursue her life after graduation is near... where will tohru go?.. where is her own family? This is all a set up to the climax! Epic writing!

Side Notes:

Akito scared me with her, “ do you know what’s inside the box? it’s father” ! chills!! is it his ashes? This reminded me of tohru’s cold photo frame of her mom.  I see tohru/akito parallel in the making! love it!

Isuzu’s eps always full of good visual symbolism.

Dark haru is always a good sight! whether for comedy or for plot. It is always well-used!

“Pity love” is a theme here. Haru, a teenager, declared his true love, while kureno, a grown man, stood silent. watching. learn kureno learn!

The cat room is a hideous place! OMG! the cell’s /“cage’s” door is small & doesn’t fit a standing human, like a cat’s door! so, the prisoner crawls to get inside? ugh!

Isuzu was there for days even weeks. let this sink. She refused food. she was mentally crushed & blackmailed by Akito using her love for Haru (the same way she blackmailed kyo using his love for tohru). This is a huge crime. Hideous deed that deserves more than a gentle touch on the abuser’s cheek with soft reprimanding. Akito’s response when she lost haru was the childish behavior of screaming & piunding with her fists on the ground. Kazuma’s “ akito is like a spoiled child”.

The scars Akito inflected on the young sohma’s run deep. It would be interesting to see if akito gets redemption, how’ll they react? will the scars disappear cuz yay the baddie is goddie now? or the scars remain & they’ll choose forgiveness like yuki did? or they’ll hold  grudge? can’t wait to see.

So Isuzu got her hair cut... man, the only hair cut I wanted was yuki’s! I wanted part of his growth to be loosing the Akito’s look.

Speaking of looks, Hiro is the spitting image of kyo but with bigger eyes! He looks exactly like kyo in Kazuma’s flashback in se01 finale & in kagura’s memories in se02, ep, 11 with the exact uniform!

loved that haru avoided hitting Akito. Not for akito, but knowing haru, he’ll suffer once he cool down cuz he hurt someone.

The bond is tearing. I honestly thought that haru leaving akito will cause more than that & it will tear!

I hated that one shot of naked Isuz walking away. Why not clothed? She wasn’t on the bed with him, so it doesn’t make sense.

so, how did Kureno get Isuzu from the cat’s cage? She’ll transform??

Also, Hatori what will you do now that another victim was hospitalized? still carry screaming Akito, comforting her? Who will have to be hurt before you take action? silently treating the victims wounds is NOT action.

I knew Isuzu will run from the hospital as soon as they said she was hospitalized! XD. They should’ve kept an eye on her. she’s weak.

So, shigure’s “ love” didn’t heal Akito nor his “ love-making” toned her fury on Ren’s look alike. Feeling guilty shigure? No?

Also, while it is not directly his fault, but it is ironic that kureno’s meeting with tohru where he decided to “ stay” by akito & not leave, has led to Isuzu tracking him right into Ren’s trap & falling victim to Akito. In short, his passive choice to NOT take action has led to unintentional disaster. Take the right action kureno. Leaveeeeee~~~

This is a buildup ep for the finale. looks like furuba’s tradition for awkward buildup eps continues as this ep is clearly divided into two parts: machi & zodiac banquet.

-Killing the Vibe (furuba style):

Usually when writers buildup an emotional moment, they either go with it right away or if it is not its time, they slowly dissolve it or gradually redirect the story somewhere else. But the most important thing is that you hold on to the feeling they worked so hard to build but know that it will be dealt with later. Usually this is done with minor visuals such as quick flashback to the main event & the character taking deep breath ignoring it. But it is acknowledged that now it is not the time. Furuba doesn’t do that. If they build high moment & decide it is not the time to continue with it, they drop it abruptly, using the ending ost as a closing sign....which is odd cuz this is not episodic eps but continuing plot. They did it twice now: (a) tohru’s nightmare ep 19. it was treated as cliffhanger, but the next, we opened with yuki’s narrative where we see tohru normal. I know tohru’s issues will be dealt with later, perhaps season 3. But the nightmare moment was left hanging weirdly!! we never saw tohru deciding not to focus on it or anything! then (b) the kyo/tohru moment on stage & the symbolic tearing image ep23. Big moment which I  know will be focused on later. But it is so freakin odd that we see them so normal in their daily activities..as if nothing happened. Not a slight visual hint that either one is troubled... I praised how in ep, 23, they showed tohru face worrying abt bits & pieces here & there. These visual hints connects the plot.. For a moment I thought Cinderella play is a filler!! but I don’t think so, since 3 major things happened (Tohru’s near confession, machi’s opinion of yuki, arisa’s recorded outburst) two of which dealt with this ep. I know they want the focus to be on yuki, seeing that his plotline is moving smoothly without awkward breaks, but why not smooth out the other’s plotline with minor visuals without the jarring jumps. Ending ost is not automatic shifts in continued plot. Oh well, it is a minor thing I felt, no big deal.

-Machi pov is here!:

I never expected to see machi today! nice surprise! So machi is not only lonely, she lives alone! that’s odd & tragic! how can a junior high school student live alone? since when was she living alone? & her mom calling to check on her or insult her or scold her! I never wanted a phone call to end this fast. Machi’s monologue was amazingly done. Rather than describing her feelings to us or stating what we are already seeing, the words came cold.. automatic.. slow.. without much emotions. Exactly imitating how machi feels abt herself. DULL. She never thought abt things such as fave color or fave place. never thought abt anything that requires personality or preferences. The imagery they used while she was walking in the street is epic! It explained her mentality! honestly even if she said nothing around that time while she was walking, the image would’ve done enough! Machi was able to see the change in yuki cuz she was able to sense that yuki too was dull/boring or felt he felt so. Now he laughs, jokes, interacts, & joins outside school activities. Negating the dull persona. Now, it is only her. machi questions if she can do the same but her question comes out loaded with her negativity. Instead of can I do the same? it is “ why Am i here? Her bad habits are pulling her back & resisting the change.

- Since they’re deciding to embark into the romantic aspect of mach/yuki & to further add contrast to his interaction with tohru, machi is shown so struck by yuki’s presence, she falls. Typical romantic moment that I appreciate for machi who thinks she isn’t typical girl. but dull girl. Yuki finding the leaf & being happy that she treasures it adds to his self-esteem as it tells him that he is worthy to be treasured. I love machi’s indecisive responses! It gives her personality! as she is reluctant between denying or telling the truth. She was never in such situation, so she doesn’t know what to do!! blushing red like her leaf, machi didn’t only go with friends, she also learned her fave color! yuki, developing the future boyfriend detective sense like kyo, guessed it that machi likes red. You remember things abt ppl you find interesting! Machi felt that perhaps to yuki she is not dull, but interesting enough to want to learn things abt her!

-Tohru is a grown woman!!!

trust me to take 5sec interaction that involves my girl & write a deep analytic paragraph! Call it building sandcastles out of nothing but I don’t care! XD. tohru deserves some spotlight! I’m a bit disappointed that the scene is shown form a far to include yuki & shiggure..(WHY???. They can have their moment later! let my girl have a screenshot for a change!!) & the art quality is the lowest in the ep, lol & but whatever~~~ let’s focus on the positive side! my tohru bought sth for herself!! tohru who spent her hard earned money on buying candy ingredients for the filthy rich sohma’s instead of paying her tuition fees?!! tohru who wore a worn out swimsuit for school & didn’t see the value in buying new one ?! tohru whose school bag have seen better days as hiro said?!! tohru bough herself a scarf with pompom!!& she’s PROUD!! & she goes & shows kyo!!!! cuz she loves him & cuz in SE01 he was mad she doesn't buy herself stuff & cuz she knows he’ll be proud of her & cuz she want show off her cuteness & get his attention & cuz she wanna tease him!! Did you see my girl deliberately hit him with the pompom??? my girl is feisty!! She teases!! Tohru has this feisty, forward personality that she hides but peeks in certain instances!! Like when she teased kyo that he’s still scared of the stain on the wall..like when she calls him cute later this ep!! I’m so happy for every tiny teeny moment of tohru where she is herself & not the worrying mom or friend, when she is focused abt what she shows & what she wants & right now she wants kyo to notice her! GIRL HE ALREADY DOES! you are killing him already tohru..he’d be dead by now if he wasn’t a cat with 9 souls! XD.

-Yuki is leaving Akito’s side:

coming to the big moment in this ep. Akito is loosing yuki. Not only yuki decided by himself to attend the banquet that he avoided last year, he also talked to akito & forgave him for everything before. Yuki is letting go of the past. Forgiveness is a cure ppl! it’s the hardest achieved cure. it cuts the ties to negativity & free the person from the painful feelings. Akito knows she’ll be loosing a zodiac member soon! she reacts the same way she did with hatori! violently resisting change, violently making a statement that I’m the ruler of you. However, unlike when it was hatori, no one came to her. Kureno stopped her. but the rest went to yuki, to the rebel, to the one who caused her pain & rage. Akito is not only loosing yuki...she is slowly loosing all of them.

- Yuki continues the next step in his growth & frees hatori from his sins. By allowing himself to accept that he is not a helpless victim, yuki was able to see the others plain as well. Before, in his mind, he was the only one suffering, others are cruel, but now, he sees the criminal who erased his friends memories was also suffering all along. Perhaps yuki thinks that akito is suffering too? That’s why chose to forgive her & tell her that I don’t hate you anymore or hold grudge.

Side Notes:

I’m so glad kakeru had so little to do with machi & yuki interaction here. He is a character that demands spotlight & if his role was bigger, machi would disappear, it will be another yuki/kakeru moment. Also, since machi/kakeru parallel aya/yuki, you bet kakeru will be more involved between them in order to get closer to his sister & fix the gap like aya did, so I appreciate the moment of only yuki/machi now as it is unique moment without any parallels involved.

After learning of Shigure’s correct line, I can now see how things would’ve been better for akito, if she learned from yuki’s rebellion. loosing one is less painful than loosing them all, which she will. Shigure was eager for her to be spared the pain. or he might be eager for sth else entirely! but he wants this to end.

Shigure sure wasn’t himself this ep! he was restless & his jokes were all over the place, he nearly caused a misunderstanding between hatori & Mayko. I think shigure is hearing the curse breaking!!!!!

Rin & kyo!!!! I never knew I needed this!!! like last ep, I was celebrating hana & kyo, & the return of kyo & haru!! but rin & kyo is unique duo since it is not a teasing dynamics! it is a we-are-too-similar dynamics! XD

Kazuma is luv!! ugh!! my heart! what a man!! so caring & kind & ever so gentle! look at him going to rin to invite her! no kid should be alone in new years! look at him teasing his son!! look at him out polite tohru! just look at him!!!

I appreciate that the boys (kyo,yuki.haru,momiji) have different body types from each other. however, since kyo’s body changing is mentioned in the story many times, they focused on showing him growing since the 2nd ep of season 2 & more so in the beach arc & they steadily continued ever since!!! this ep, even with the low quality they showed his Adam’s apple & he is taller next to shishio. Also his baggy clothes help defy the lanky art style. With yuki, since his beauty is mentioned in the story, they’ve been focused on his face, giving him HD quality beauty all the time, but not much when it comes to his body. but today, he looked a lil bit older in machi’s scene? I duno if it is the new clothes or they’re finally allowing his body to grow?! I hope so. They are still making him so lanky as his legs were only a bit meatier than machi’s in the fight scene, but hey lankiness is the show’s art style, just look at hatori </3. They focused on making Momiji baby as it is mentioned in the story that he doesn’t look like a highschooler at all, but I swear he looks a bit older this ep!! right???

Speaking of hatori, hello there~ doc~ I never knew I needed hatori in Japanese clothes this much! It hid the lankiness & gave him the adult manly look he deserves!! so hot!!! I heard his grunt in my heart as he took his clothes off! XD. Soyou’re attached to the school sensie now~~ a lit bit worried your filthy buddy is putting hands on her..huh? oh!, if only you knew that your goofy pal is the master mind behind your new love story! I think he knows tho~

I never expected machi to be that cute!!! machi/yuki is so cute!

Rin sleeps sitting...like a horse? rin didn’t feel haru? i thought horses are as jumpy as cats! lol

Tohru & kyo are having quality flirting time with no interference from either shigure or yuki. lol.. shishio is amazing! XD

Akito is here:

Shigure’s manipulative words managed to convenience Akito to come. But his joy is short lived as Kureno is here as well. EPIC!! Kureno is purposely NOT allowed to meet the others, why? This is a mystery to shigure as well! As soon as Hatori speculated that Akito is “insecure”, Shigure mentioned Ren-san, who is is given the Voldemort treatment.  Shigure is intrigued by Akito’s wish to keep Kureno in the dark away from the others sohmas. He can’t stop talking about Kureno. The whole scene of Akito hugging Hatori while laughing at Yuki’s terrified face is just sad & disgusting. It gives off a pathetic feel to Akito rather than a menacing one.

The “schemer” dog vs the “too nice” dragon:

Akito hugged Hatori but not Shigure even though shigure was the one kissing her ass with his fake compliant words while hatori remained silent. I believe this represent Akito satisfaction with Hatori. She’s confident hatori is in her palm & wouldn’t oppose her. After all, hatori is the helpless system follower who had tasted the wrath of wanting sth more than what was offered. Hatori knows this. That’s why hatori is no longer weakly opposing shigure’s ways. “despite your methods, you are better than me. Trying to make a change”  He knows that for whatever reason & regardless of his methods, at least shigure wants to break the system. Hatori hadn’t even harbored any thoughts to ever stop Akito because he’s held back by the fear of harming yet another soul beside Kana. that’s why he worries for tohru. He’s too held back by the guilt of his past trauma to attempt or consider anything. Shigure on the other hand, has no regard for others. He doesn't wish them harm or intentionally devise his plan around breaking them. He is the classic example of the “end justify the means”. If others can be of use to him, he’ll use them. If they’ll benefit as well, amazing! if he’s the sole one gaining benefit, then no problem. Main Goal: He believes breaking the system will help him get Akito. Additional benefit: the sohma will also be freed. He is playing dirty using uncooperative & unknowing kids. 

side notes

Question: Is Ren & Rin the same person? A typo situation perhaps? 

Interesting usage of the visuals: when shigure talked abt locked up kid, the image showed Kureno. Remember: Kureno told Arisa, he never went to the supermarket. He sits in a dark room, alone, with no company. yup. He’s a locked up kid. I love how visuals speak!

“whose the actual idiot most deluded of all” the image shows Akito. Perfect. 

Akito’s “ I love all of you” is chilling. what’s up with the sohmas & their twisted interpretation of love. Kyo’s mom & her fear taking over her love, Kagura & her forced love, Akito & her abusive love, & Shigure & his scheming love! lol. 

Nightmare/dreams about mothers:

So, yuki’s mother is cold & opportunist. ”you are a tool”. Shigure said all Zodiacs get money deposit, Kyo’s dad accused kazuma of wanting it. Yuki’s mom benefited from him & had no problem admitting it with no guilt, shudder. I wonder about his dad, tho. Wherever he is, clearly he was no help, as yuki felt alone, even Ayame “sold” him. 

Repairing broken bonds:

Ayame selling yuki to gain freedom is expected & fits his personality. he’s self-centered & self-serving. The rat is favored, let them have him in exchange for my freedom. Like shigure, Aya seems to not be bothered by the curse, due to their personality. How can his mother or even akito break him. I even suspect that Aya is on good terms with Akito, simply by driving Akito to the moon & back with no outcome, just let him have his way & leave, lol. Aya’s decision to restore his relationship with his brother, originated from fear of being a nobody to yuki. You can start building relationships based on selfish reasons but whats important that it evolves into sth genuine & true. Aya being who he is, cant seem to find a way to mend the gap between them. It is not until Aya & Yuki find a common ground, that things get promising.

Yuki is similar to Aya in many ways. The ep focused on their love for crafting things by hand, but there’s more. Aya & Yuki’s flaws are a bit similar too! Aya is self centered & while yuki isn’t, he gets warped around himself & tend to indulge in his own thoughts for long. Just like Yuki, Aya, too, sees what he’s lacking in others. However, while Aya recognizes what he’s lacking in hatori, he respects & admires him, doesn't envy hatori for it, happy to be who he is even if lacking. Yuki recognizes what he’s lacking in kyo’s ability to befriended easily, but due to the toxic history & trauma, he envies & despises kyo for it, looks down on himself, feeling inferior cuz he lacks what kyo can do. This negative thought & tunnel vision fueled by past experiences is causing yuki to only see what he’s lacking. Kyo’s misfortune of being locked in a cage, is omitted & he’s focusing on what qualities kyo has & he doesn’t. It’s realistic sentiment, to only see what others have & you lack, but if yuki look a little closer, he’ll realize his own qualities & would see that perhaps the others are not as happy as he assumes them to be. Tohru’s rice ball analogy strikes!

Side note:

I didn’t expect ep,3 to be yuki-centered, not complaining abt yuki, but the pacing is a bit odd, ep1 yuki, 2kyo, 3yuki, will 4 be kyo? will this pattern keep going? odd, since there are lots of characters. Couldn’t they space them apart? No big deal at all, just thought the pacing is a bit weird.

Cracking the princely mask one ep at a time.

There are way more similarities between yuki & Aya.

I love that tohru didn’t get involved in today’s mending the gap activity! It makes it a yuki’s decision & one step forward into yuki’s self development journey.

Tohru’s head band & own style is cute! but I’m sorry that dress is ..um..weird for lack of better adj to describe what I mean, lol. It reminds me of the dresses mothers made their 4 or 5 years old girls wear in the past. at least where I live. XD