#human bilbo

"Oh, don't be silly. None of them saw you. You were already hidden." Dis waved dismissively. "We have business to take care of." She was singing again.

Bilbo had a sudden sense of dread. Should he be running? "What kind of business?"

"Well, as you know, I've been dying to take you shopping. Especially for clothes. I'm tired of seeing you in those oversized gowns and pinned up pants. It's ridiculous. You're part of the royal family, for Mahal's sake! Future King's Consort! We can't have you running around in rags!"

"But I can't go to the markets." Bilbo ducked a little lower behind the couch. He didn't like where this was going.

"I know! But at this rate, it could be months before we clear everything up, so you can make such a public appearance. I simply cannot wait that long to see you in some proper clothes. So I came up with a solution."

"You decided to be patient?"

"No! What nonsense," Dis laughed. "I decided to bring the stores to you!"

That's what Bilbo had been afraid of.

Nori huffed. "Fine. I'll go first. I ain't no wuss. Ya comin'?"

"Oh, aye. I'll be right behind ya."

Muttering, Nori didn't look convinced. He took one cautious step forward, lifting his lantern to see into the room better. "Does that look like a bed to ya?"

Before he could take another step, a face appeared in the light of their lantern, hideously distorted by the shadows. "Boo!"

Bofur didn't think he'd ever startled so bad in his life. It was only thanks to his mining experience that he didn't take off running or make a sound. Nori, on the other hand, jumped back with a shout and toppled over onto his rear in fright.

Someone laughed. Taking a second look in the glow of the fallen lamp, Bofur thought that the face looked awfully familiar.

"You should have seen your faces!" Bilbo buckled over laughing. "You'd think I was the demon here!"

INKTOBER DAY 11

This day brought a hipster Bilbo to accompany the Smaug from the previous day. Totally inspired by @ofcowardiceandkings own human!verse designs