#hug loki

His left hand is pressed tightly into his crotch, his right hand covering his face.

He waits. And waits. And waits. Until, he no longer can. He can tell it’s about to happen. And there’s absolutely nothing he can do.

He becomes very still right before. Feet flat on the floor, knees slightly apart, both elbows on the table, head in his hands.

And then it happens. He empties himself at the table. It’s slow at first. Painfully slow. He doesn’t even feel relief. Then the floodgates fully open. The stream thickens and he floods his trousers, humiliation bleeding into every cell of his being, but relief accompanying it like a reassuring friend. He stays stock still.

Worst of all, nobody says a damn thing. Everyone at the table knows what’s happening. And they elect to ignore it. Even when his liquor pools around his feet. And pools around the feet of those next to him. Even with the obvious sounds. They act as if absolutely nothing is transpiring, causing Loki to feel even more isolated and alone.

Loki sits completely still, both hands covering his face which is a deeper red than his brother’s cape.

Even once he’s finished, he doesn’t move. It takes a good minute or two for him to regain his awareness and remember his surroundings. At this point, one hand moves under the table and cleans up the mess with seidr.

The next thing he hears is someone clearing their throat behind him. Then a gentle hand on his shoulder. He hears his mother’s voice:

“Loki. Runa has come to assist. She will take you to your chambers. Where you will remain for the evening.”

Who’s hand was on his shoulder? His mother’s? Or his maid? Was he being banished from the banquet as punishment for his misdeed, or was this an act of sympathy, sparing him the humiliation of facing the nobility he had disgraced himself in front of?

He ruminated over the thought as Runa led him out of the banquet hall and into the empty hallway. She didn’t speak a word to him, and Loki remained silent. His face still shone pink, but his expression of mortification was replaced by a shell-shocked look. He was completely disassociating.

He remained quiet as Runa closed the door to his chambers. She locked it after she asked him if it would be wise. He had nodded. She ran him a bath. He became anxious, asking if it was nearly ready. After gentle questions and encouragement, he offered a small statement.

“I... I... need to go again.”

With a sympathetic look and a warm hand on his lower back, Runa left the room and waited in his main chambers. After some time passed, she correctly deduced Loki had decided to undress and sink into the bathwater after using the toilet. She knocked, and entered only with his permission. She poked her head around the door to ask if he needed anything. He looked up from the bath, covered in comforting warm water up to his shoulders. He shook his head, and thanked her.

She waited on his window seat, reading to pass the time. It was not the first time she was on watch in the Crown Prince’s chambers. It reminded her of a time she cared for him when he came down with an Asgardian winter flu. He had encouraged her to pick any item she wished from his personal library. “If you must suffer with me, at the very least I wish for you to leave at the end of this ghastly ordeal having learned something.” Anyone else would take it as a snide remark. A quip from the silver-tongued trickster. She simply smiled appreciatively before running her fingers over the spines of the books, letting out a little gasp of delight as she spotted one she liked. She had come to know how Loki’s words often hid his true intentions. He could never simply say, “I appreciate and value your help. I would like you to stay. And, I would like you to be comfortable.” That simply wasn’t how he chose to communicate. Having observed his family’s responses to his needs over the centuries, it came as no surprise. Her heart felt heavy at the thought.

And now it was her turn to take care of him again. She felt it was more than her duty as a member of palace staff. She felt it was her moral responsibility.

Fifty pages later, the bathing chamber door cracked open, Loki appearing in the doorway in the comfortable clothes she had laid out for him. He looked away from her, appearing awkward and out-of-place in his own room. She asked if there was anything she could do for him. She wasn’t sure if perhaps he wished to be alone. She would certainly understand if he did.

A small smile played on his lips and a quiet voice emerged. “Unless a tender embrace is within your remit Runa, no. You are dismissed for the evening. I... I thank you for your help. And your discretion. It… it was most kind.” He blushed a little at his final words.

Runa placed down her book and walked up to him, very slowly as not to startle him. She searched his expression as she came within several feet of him, reaching her arms up ever so slowly, nodding to him as if asking for permission. One regal nod from him, and her arms wrapped around his shoulders. He brought a hand up around her back, a vulnerable head resting tenderly on her shoulder. He stayed there for quite some time.

When he pulled away, she asked if there truly was anything he needed. He told her no, and she could leave if she wished.

“I beg your indulgence, Prince Loki. But let us imagine I did not have any place to be this evening. Would I be of use here?” Her head tilted as she showed yet another gentle smile.

He gave a solemn nod, intertwining his fingers into hers and leading her to his bed. He lay down slowly, inviting her with him. A genuine warmth radiated from her as she lay down beside him.

She held him until they both fell asleep.